Recollection
by SublimeEchos
Summary: Sequel to the story Runaway. Alex is now two years older still trying to remember the ones she lost. Will she ever be able to recover her memory. What will happen when her present life and her past life collide? Can the fires of lost love and friendship burn again?
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One._

* * *

Three knocks accompanied by yelling coming from the hallways, it wasn't enough to even get her up anymore. Two years of getting used to the foot's customs and you kind of just brush things off after a while. In her head she told herself it was time for patrol just like every other night, but instead of waking herself up, she allowed herself to simply roll over on her side tugging the blanket up around her.

Once more there was knocking. "Alex time to go! Let's get moving."

With a grumble knowing deep down she couldn't escape the nightly routine she rolled out of bed placing her bare feet on the cool tiles. "Coming." She said in a half yawn that the person on the other side probably couldn't even hear.

Five minutes later she had her patrol attire on and was fumbling with the laces on her boots, slipping a small dagger in the side for easy access. When she stood up she went over to the mirror to make sure everything was in order, or else she'd really hear it from Karai. She had to admit, she really was growing on the color of her armor. All black was in a way flattering, it made her look curvier than she actually was and a bit slimmer.

Another knock came on her door and she just rolled her eyes. "I'm Up!" She yelled. Fastening her bo-staff to it's holder on her back she opened the door that led to the hall-way and let it fall shut behind her.

The halls were filled with foot soldiers in uniform all going over what was on the list for patrol routes tonight. It really got confusing after a while in terms of who was who because of the same color uniforms but you come to identify people by what weapons they carry with them. Talon, out of the hundreds of foot soldiers here, was the only one to carry twin katanas. He was the first one she saw in the crowded hallways. Jogging over to him she realized he had already rounded up her patrol group for her, he knew how lazy she could be sometimes, and agreed with her that the patrols were messing up everyone's sleep schedules. But in turn him and everyone else agreed to follow the patrol times in fear of the wrath of Karai.

"Speak of the devil." Talon whispered as Alex got to the group of five.

" Ha. Ha, So what's tonight's route, or do I even have to ask." She said rolling her eyes. Karai had been assigning Alex to take her group down the same route for two months straight now.

"I think I could run this route blindfolded by now." Pepper said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Jax?" Alex said looking to him for answers on what other routes were open for the night.

"But Kar-"

"What she doesn't know wont hurt her." Grant said becoming restless to leave the hospital.

Jax was probably the shyest of the group but he was coming around, offering up ideas occasionally and even cracking a joke here and there which was usually Murphy's department. "Well we could take the old harbor way, no one's been posted down there for about a month." He said checking the tiny screen of the tablet he built for himself.

On the tablet were all the programmed routes the foot had ever taken and they were all labeled with different names or numbers. Often times when Jax would offer up some scientific reasoning or just a fact in general surrounded by all his tech gear, he reminded her of someone but she many times pushed her memories away. After being able to remember April and Casey in detail, she found herself not wanting to know more. The rest of her so called "family" Had abandoned her in her greatest time of need. She was scared of the past because she was afraid of it only making the hurt worse. So day after day she'd spit out the same facts of things she remembered to Karai that she had been repeating for two years now.

Hate built up inside of her toward the family that left her behind. She couldn't understand why they left her to be crushed under the building. Most of all she couldn't understand the array of emotions that flooded to her over these people. Some brought love, and amazing friendships. So why would they leave her during the invasion to die?

"Let's go then." She said heading for the elevator to take them down to the first level. Talon was quickly by her side as she entered the elevator and she smiled. _At least I have a new family _she though to herself as the rest of the group piled in.

When they reached the door to leave they pulled their hoods up as Alex followed putting hers up, along with her mask. As the door slid open the cool air of May slid in making her smile. The hospital smelled like leather and metal, the outside air was a delicacy when patrol time came around. "Lead the way Captain." Murph said nudging Alex with his elbow.

Two years and Alex had proven herself worthy to be part of the Clan. Karai has risen her up to second in command, letting her take her own handpicked patrol group out every night. Karai also gave her a mask, one of her old ones form when she was 15 but it still symbolized to outsiders that she was the leader, and a force to be reckoned with. Karai also had a mask, much more intimidating and it covered her whole face instead of just her nose and below.

"Alright guys, lets go." She said as she started for the nearest rooftop.

* * *

Alex's P.O.V.

The kraang were still in the city, but not in the numbers they had before. When the Invasion was over the navy rolled out leaving the city to fall to the hands of any poor soul who had been mutated when the kraang were in control. It's was kind of nice, having the whole city mainly to yourself, everyone was evacuated from the city so the only living things still here are the foot clan, mutants, the kraang and the stubborn yet surviving purple dragons.

As I recalled the day standing on the rooftops watching the Navy leave the city, I felt a cool hand on my shoulder. "You look a little pale Al." Pepper said handing me her jug of water. I gladly took a sip and thanked her.

I quickly headed up the stairs of the fire escape, followed by my patrol group. When we reached the rooftops I stopped halting everyone with me. "What way again Jax? God I can hardly remember anything but our routine path anymore."

Quickly Jax pulled out his tablet and began tapping at the screen. "Just head north of here and it should put us right on route. Just a b-line to the harbor and back." He said as he looked up from the glowing screen.

"K, let's go." I motioned for everyone to split off, like normal and fan out as we covered the area. If we could cover the entire area to the harbor I made the deal we could take it easy on our way back. Pepper and Murphy branched off to the rooftop beside us as Grant and Jax took the rooftops on the other side. Talon always stayed with me, even though I told him he's better paired with Grant. He always told me I was his responsibility and he would protect me at any cost, only to then push me around and taunt me.

Some nights when he knew I wasn't sleeping he'd sneak into my room and bring a deck of cards or even a smuggled carton of ice cream from the cafeteria. He always knew how to make me feel better, often times when I used to have a hard time remembering my past I'd cry on his shoulder about it for hours it felt like. He always told me that maybe me not being able to remember was a gift from God, maybe it was better I couldn't find my lost memories of the people I once knew. The day he told me that was the day I stopped trying to recall what had happened. That day was over a year ago and I haven't thought about them since hardly.

Occasionally I'll catch a glimpse of blue or purple in someone's clothing or in the hues of the sunset and these people who I once knew come knocking on the back of my head, pushing me to let them in. In turn I keep them locked up, no one gets out, I force my brain into thinking they were awful people, that they can't be trusted, that they're probably dead. Anything to make the pounding headaches and sleepless nights stop.

Jumping the from roof to roof I look back on what my life used to consist of. This is what I've come to figure from my lost memory. I had first met Casey Jones, he was tall with dark hair and he claimed to be a vigilante. He was a hockey player and that's how I met April. She was at the hockey rink Casey had invited me to the night I met him. April had red hair, and a while down the road we became best friends.

Felling the rush of wind circulate through my hood I let my emotions get the best of me. April, I missed her so much. Part of me wanted to find her, I felt like if I could just see her maybe everything could come back to me, even the four I have yet to recall. The other art of me wanted nothing to do with her. I knew she wasn't the one on the rooftops that day looking down at my broken body under the head of rubble, but part of me wanted to still blame her. To blame everyone in that trust circle I used to have.

I took the next landing harder than before and paused before I continued. Talon stopped and put his arm out to steady me, I pushed him away. "I'm fine." I said letting my breath catch up to me. I looked over to the rooftops on both sides of me, my group members had also stopped and were watching me with worried eyes. I waved my hand forward to signal them I was fine and that they should keep going. They lingered for a moment but a second later followed my orders and pursued towards the harbor.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you." Talon said resting his arm on my shoulder.

I didn't answer him I just removed my mask and looked him in the eyes.

"Let's just finish the route." I said putting my hands up before he could protest.

As we reached the harbor my team was already there waiting for me. I knew the questions were about to begin and I prepared myself. These five knew about what happened to me, and I was open to telling them anything they wanted to know unless it went too far.

"What happened?" Murphy said walking up to me with concerned eyes.

I looked back at the other three, Jax was looking over my body checking for any wounds or sprains while Grant just shook his head.

"It's April." Pepper said taking a spot next to Murphy. "You've been thinking about her all week I can tell."

I look at her with confused eyes. _How does she know.._

"Is this true?" Jax said.

"We should head back guys." I said turning around.

"If it's her you need to tell Karai, she can help." Talon said grabbing my arm.

I held my ground but wouldn't look back to face him. "We're going back now and that's an order." I said trying to stay as calm as possible. I wasn't open for questions tonight. We were going home, Karai was probably expecting us anyway.

Grant was the first one by my side, as always when I gave an order. Karai added him to my group because she believed I needed extra protection, and he really did come in handy sometimes. As we set off for home Talon went with Jax while Grant stayed with me on our roof. I liked Grant, he mostly stayed quiet, only being here on strict orders, he was guarded and only let a few people in. One of them was me. He became one of my closer friends, though we never hung out like Talon and I did, we trained together, pushing each other over the edge and back. He was a little cocky at times, and especially arrogant but I had a soft spot for him.

As we reached the platform to climb down the fire escape back to the hospital Grant pulled me aside. "If you ever need anything I'm always here for you, not just for your protection." He said flashing me a half grin before he turned to climb down the stairs. I just smiled. If Talon wasn't on my side, I could always count on Grant being there.

* * *

As I laid in my bed, already in my pajamas I heard one knock on the door. My life was one big routine mess. Karai let herself in after I didn't respond and shot me one of her looks when she knows something's up. "Alex I heard you didn't take your scheduled route."

"If you're here to punish me can we do it tomorrow, I'm to tired for pain tonight." I said rolling over in my bed.

"I'm not here because of that. Pepper told me..."

"Of course she did." I said mumbling under my breath. I loved Pepper but she was quick to go behind my back and do something I didn't ask her to. I knew she was just trying to help but my god the girl couldn't keep a secret if her life was in danger.

"Alex, If your memories are bothering you again you need to tell me."

"They're not bothering me. I just can't stop thinking about the girl."

"Who April?" Karai said walking over to my bed and taking a seat on the edge. "Have you tried meditating? It might help clear your mind a bit." She said crossing her legs.

"I've tried everything. I wish I never even met these people. I wish I had just been taken in here when I came to the city."

Karai just sighed putting her hand on my shoulder, and was interrupted before she could say anything.

A knock fell on the door and a foot soldier entered. "Yes?" Karai said sharply rolling her eyes at me.

"Sorry to interrupt, but he's back Karai." He looked worried.

"Who's back?" I said quickly getting no one's attention. It was like I wasn't even there now.

Karai walked over to the soldier and they started whispering. The only I thing I heard in the whole conversation was "Night watcher" and then I decided to drown them out. I was getting tired, and agitated Karai couldn't take her business elsewhere.

"Get a patrol going and see what you can find out, don't pursue him unless necessary."

"And what if he engages us?" The soldier asked back.

"Then kill him." She said in a hushed voice. Karai had her good side but she could be morbid at times, often enjoying others pain and suffering. She loved to taunt people, especially the purple dragons who were easily made fun of.

With a nod the soldier left. "What was that all about? I asked sitting up in my bed.

"Alex, we'll talk about this tomorrow. I have to go."

Before I could confront her she was out the door. Maybe it wasn't anything I had to worry about, I just hoped this wouldn't mean we'd have to start running more patrols because of this night watcher guy. My eyelids started to feel heavy and I pulled my blanket up around my shoulders the warmth was comforting and familiar. As I drifted off to sleep I thought about April. I had the feeling she was still alive and I felt myself getting more and more anxious. I needed to find her. Maybe she held all the answers. April O'Neil, lost just like my memories. How could I ever find her, was she even still in the city?

* * *

**_A/N: So here's the first chapter to the sequel! Reminder: All character info is in my authors not in the beginning of this story so if you need to know something about a character just go back a chapter. Tell me what you think I love reading the reviews you guys leave! Sorry if this chapter was a little bland but I promise it's only leading up to something bigger (:_ **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

"Ouch"

"Sit still!" Pepper yelled as she pulled my hair into a tight braid. I forced myself to limit my protests to small whimpers and yelps when she pulled a little too hard.

"Done!" She chimed lacing the hair tie at the end of the braid.

"Thank God." I said under my breath.

We sat in silence for a moment as I tugged at my braid trying to make it more loose, only to have my hands swatted away. I could feel a headache growing from the pain. But you know what they say, beauty is pain and the braid did look quite pretty.

"So what are the plans for tonight?" Pepper said taking a seat in the desk chair across from my bed.

"Karai said something about taking me out. I don't know where but I can assume it's not a five star restaurant." I said picking the pealing red paint from my finger nails.

Pepper just laughed under her breath. "What about tomorrow night, any info for me?"

"What about tomorrow night? I know as much as you know. Karai keeps me in the dark about everything." Tomorrow night was one of the big meetings with the dragons, they took place every three months just to keep our terms and agreements. The truth was the gang had accumulated more members than we originally thought, any wrong move and the hospital could be under siege.

Pepper let out a sigh. "I wonder if Karai would let me tag along."

"You know that's never going to happen. If you came we'd have a war on our hands, you're too unpredictable to control in that place." The truth was Pepper had once been in the gang, she had the long dragon tattoo that circled her arm to prove it. I know she left, and she has the scars of gang violence written all over her body, but I don't know what they did to her or why she seeks revenge on them. Part of me doesn't want to know.

"Whatever." She said smirking at me. Just then a knock came on my door and Karai entered wearing her patrolling uniform, we probably looked alike from the back, that's how similar our gear was.

"Ready?" She said.

"Yeah, yeah." I said lacing up my boots. "Cya Pep."

I grabbed my bo-staff and headed out the door trailing behind Karai.

"So where are we going?" I asked falling in step beside her.

"You'll see." She said giving me a smirk before putting her mask up. I copied her with my mask and followed behind her as she exited the safety of the hospital.

Once we were on the roofs Karai stopped and took her mask off. "Tell me what that building is." She said pointing to a skyscraper within walking distance.

"Easy. TCRI" I said with confidence. Without warning Karai slid her mask back up and took off across the rooftops. I just let out a sigh and pursued her, another one of her games.

I felt like I had been running to catch her for at least twenty minutes, until I saw her halt on a distant rooftop waiting for me. Out of breath I jogged up to her shaking my head in disapproval. "What are we playing tonight? Run until you feel like you're going to blackout? Cause I think I'm winning."

She just chuckled, then turned her direction to the fire escape and started towards it. "Come on." She said making her way down. I hadn't even taken the time to look around the part of the city I was in. As I climbed down the fire escape I realized Karai was no where in sight and a window was open. I just shook my head and climbed through. Inside I could make out certain shapes of furniture and eventually spotted Karai sitting on the couch.

"What are we doing in here." I said fining my way over to her.

Before I could even sit down on the couch the lights came on and I realized Karai was now propped up against the wall. "Funny the power still works after two years." She said.

As I sat on the couch I realized instead of being used for lounging the couch was instead a makeshift bed, and in fact the apartment was semi-empty. "Why'd you take me here." I asked looking around to try and find out what she was up to.

"I'll tell you when you find out for yourself." She said giving me a wicked grin.

I lifted myself up off the couch and took out my staff. As I walked down the hallways it was eerily quiet and I half expected something to jump out at me. When I reached the first door I slowly opened it waiting for some mutant to jump out at me. Nothing was there except and empty bedroom and suddenly I felt Karai behind me pushing me inside.

Once inside I flicked the lights on and saw the room come to life. Only a lone dresser and chair sat in the corner. I walked over to it out of curiosity, did Karai plant something here for me to find? I let my fingers dance around the knobs of the drawers and across the top where no sentimental objects lay, only dust. I slowly opened the top drawer and heard Karai sigh starting to lose her patience with how slow I was.

In the first drawer was a bunch of tee-shirts, some plain, some with graphics. I sifted through them looking for whatever Karai had left for me. Nothing. I moved on to the second drawer, and sorted through the pants, same with the third drawer with the hoodies. I gave an annoyed look back at Karai and went for the fourth and final drawer. It jammed as I tried sliding it open and I quickly became violent with it out of frustration.

"Karai if you dragged me all the way here for nothing, God so help me I'l-"

The drawer broke free making me fumble for my balance. I quickly got down on my knees and peered in. Inside was an upside-down picture frame, and an old leather strap that looked like it could hold a sword. I pulled out the strap first and ran my hands along the rough leather, something about it drew it to me but I pushed the urge away and set it down. My fingers trailed over the back of the frame before I turned it around to see what was behind the glass. In the picture was a young man holding a baby girl. I gave Karai a confused look and she shook her head. "Look carefully." She said pointing to the picture.

I looked closer. Then I realized the young man was my uncle and I ran my fingers over the glass. "This is me then." I said my back still turned to Karai.

"Yes."

I set the picture on top of the dresser and went through the drawers again. Everything was my size.

"This was my old apartment..."

She just smiled at me and threw me an old backpack. "Get everything you need here, we're not done yet."

I quickly packed away some shirts and a hoodie and grabbed a pair of nike leggings. I put the picture and the leather strap in another pocket and slung the pack over my shoulders.

Once outside again I looked for Karai who was already on the roof again heading towards our next destination. After running for a much shorter period of time I stopped behind Karai on a roof overlooking the city. "Where are we." She asked.

"I don't know" I said trying to find a building I recognized.

"Not the buildings Alex, what happened here?" She said pointing to an alley-way below.

Something came to mind but I couldn't decipher it. "I have no clue." I said.

"Wanna know how you got that scar?" She said trailing her finger down my stomach with a grin.

Just then a flash of a giant claw boring it's way through my skin flooded my mind. "He killed my family..." I said in almost a whisper as I saw the giant mutant in full now. Anzo.

"Long gone now." Karai said resting a hand on my shoulder. "You died here, but for some reason were given a second chance."

I looked down into the alley-way, just two years ago I had laid there lifeless, although I couldn't remember how I had managed to regain life, or even how I was found. Did I just wake up and walk away unharmed? "How do you know so much about my life." I asked Karai bluntly. She had obtained so much knowledge about me that I didn't even know about myself, so the question was, how?

"Lets just say I was assigned to watch you when Shredder was still in control. He wanted to know who you were and why the four took you in under their wings."

"Did Shredder have some kind of falling out with them?"

"You could say that." She said turning her back to me.

So Karai had kept an eye on me, cool. That only meant she knew much more than she was giving off. She knew why the family who had abandoned me did not seek me out after the invasion, and she knew who they were personally. She watched my struggle to regain just a mere thought of them and tried so hard to be there for me. This was her way of helping, by taking me to places that had I had some tie to.

"Come on lets head back home." She said starting for the next roof over.

"Race ya back." I said sprinting past her with a smirk.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to someone pounding on my door.

"What is it?!" I yelled, still tired and now irritated.

"Awee, come on Al. It's almost noon and you've spent half the day in bed."

I rolled over to assess my alarm clock, it was quarter of noon, and no one had woken me up. Miracles really do happen I guess. I rolled out of bed and walked up to the door. In the hallway stood Talon, tall as ever holding a backpack. "Morning sleeping beauty." He said looking down at my ratted hair I had left in a braid overnight.

I just rumbled and started to shut the door but was stopped by a black leather boot. "What do you want Talon." I said. "Today's my day off, and I have an important meeting tonight."

"It's my day off too, I thought we could chill."

I raised an eyebrow as he pulled pack of wine coolers from his pack.

"It's the only thing I could find." He said zipping it back up. "You in or no?"

"Hold on."

I shut the door to change, I figured it would be hot out, it was almost summer and what was the point in wearing patrol gear? I let my wild hair free from it's braid and watched as the wavy mess covered my back. I slid on some gym shorts and a tee and slid my bo-staff over my shoulder and headed out the door.

I was right, It was hot out and the sun was showing no mercy. Talon and I climbed to the top of a distant rooftop and sat down on the edge of the roof.

"Cheers to surviving this awful mess we call our lives." He said twisting off a cap to a peach drink. I did the same with a mango flavored bottle and shook my head smiling.

It felt like the sun kept getting hotter as the minutes passed into hours. Talon kept rambling on about his life In the medical wing of the hospital but I tuned him out after he started talking about a foot solider who had their leg bitten off by a mutant. Somewhere in the distance the city folk had begun to restart their lives, moving in with family members and taking up new jobs. So why was I stuck here so keep watch over the rotting city. Suddenly my trance was broken when Talon shook me saying something about spotting a person on an adjacent rooftop. Of course this was normal seeing that the foot were free to roam when they were off patrol and four bottles of fruity drinks weren't helping Talon's thought process very well.

"It's just other foot members Tal, calm down." I said trying to get lost in my trance again.

"No, I know what I saw." He said getting up taking out one his twin katanas strapped to his back.

Suddenly Talon went from harmless to armed and dangerous as he started out across the rooftops.

"Talon stop!"

He just shushed me and kept in pursuit, so I decided to play along, putting my mask up, staying behind Talon. We crossed onto the roof he had saw this person and he went full patrol mode.

That's when I realized he was right. I young man stood on the roof with his back turned to us holding a duffel bag full of what I assumed to be rummaged caned foods from the below stores. He didn't belong to the foot and we were ordered to contain any gang members outside their turf, did this one not know the rules we had setup?

On the ground next to this person there were two hockey sticks and a baseball bat. "What are you doing on our turf." Talon said in an authoritive voice making the man jump to face us. I looked at his arms and saw no signs of gang markings and wondered if normal citizens still lived in the city.

"Who are you." The man said. His voice sounded muffled, that's when I realized he had a mask on.

"Who are you?" Talon asked back pointing his katana at the guys heart.

"I asked first."

"Tell me your business here or I'll put this sword through your ribcage."

I couldn't tell, but something told me behind the mask this guy was smirking._ Arrogant_ I thought, _He's gonna die today._

"Talon let's go, it's not worth it." I said standing behind him tugging his katana strap. He held his ground.

As quickly as I had turned to leave The masked man had picked up a hockey stick and had disarmed Talon. Out of instinct to protect my people I unsheathed my staff and struck the man down, his mask fell off in the process revealing a young man, probably Talons age lying with his arms over his side where I had struck him. He had long black hair and looked like he had been through a war the past two years, but hey, hadn't we all.

I turned to tell Talon to start heading back home, but the young man had gotten back to his feet.

"Can't knock me down that easy." He said with a stuck up looking smirk. The "I'm better than you and always will be" Kind of look. A look I had once known. A million images came rushing through my mind like a tidal wave. A piece of my past stood right in front of me, and I hadn't even realized it.

I took a step back from him, tying to clear my though process. A perfect window of time for him to attack. He had knocked my legs out from underneath me, sending me to the ground and a sharp pain shot up my arm as I landed on it.

"You're gonna regret that scumbag." Talon said zeroing in on my attacker.

Without even knowing I jumped between the two as a blade came across my cheek only leaving a stinging sensation. It had all happened so fast Talon couldn't have known I would become his victim even if he only left a scratch. He looked destroyed and angry at the same time.

"Move" He said in a choked voice.

"No" I said putting my bo up to his katana. "We're leaving before someone ends up dead."

I started to push Talon away and he finally gave in and followed me to the hospital.

"I'd stay away from here for a while if I were you, just try and stay safe." I said with pleading eyes, he didn't know who I was, maybe it was best. I mean I hadn't taken my mask off the entire fight so how could he have known.

As We reached the second roof over I heard him call out to me.

"Hey, wait! Do I know you from somewhere?"

I Ignored him and kept Talon moving towards home. A single tear escaped my eye and I quickly wiped it away.

Once behind closed doors Talon turned back to me. "What was that all about?! I could've killed you if you had gotten just a little closer." Apparently the drinks he had earlier had worn off completely.

"I wont let you kill harmless people!"

"He had the intent to hurt us! What happened to show no mercy Alex!"

"Doesn't apply to citizens of the city."

"He was on our turf, we had every right to get rid of him, instead you stood there like you were frozen. What was going on!?"

I hated arguing with my best friend, but it happened so regularly over the dumbest things I became accustomed to it.

"Nothing. It was nothing. I'm sorry but he wasn't a purple dragon, so he wasn't a threat." Before He could come up with some snarky remark I walked off to my room. I heard him grumble in disapproval but shook it off. I needed to get some things straight.

When I got to my room I saw my patrol gear had been laid across my bed for me for the meeting with the dragons tonight as well as a katana in it's sheath. A note laid on top of it.

_"I'm trading in your wooden stick for a real weapon tonight. Be at the lobby by midnight. -Karai" _I just moved the gear aside and sat down on my bed with my head in my hands trying to sort out the jumbled mess in my head.

There were two things I knew for sure now.

One: I couldn't tell Karai what had happened on the roof.

Two: Casey Jones was alive.

* * *

_**A/N: I hope this story is living up to everyone standards, If you have any questions of comments be sure to leave them in my inbox or in the reviews. (: **_

_**Thanks for reading(:**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**WOW I am so proud of this chapter, one of the longer one's I've done so far and probably on of the hardest to write. I hope you guys like it and make sure you leave reviews, I love reading them. I think most of you are going to like this chapter...hopefully. (; Without further interruptions, I present chapter three.**_

* * *

Chapter Three.

I couldn't quite get it through my head that I had just been face to face with someone I knew years ago. Someone I had once called family. Time had caught up with him, and his teen years had come to a screeching halt. Long black hair, defined muscles, toned body. He had certainly grown out of his bean pole figure, and added a few inches to his height. But what about him made me feel like there was no connection between us anymore. It was as if all former ties had broken off and he had moved on from the incident that had left me with amnesia, and a broken body. Was it the scars that ran along his arms and legs? Or was it the shadow of death that loomed over him. The past two years had not been friendly to Casey Jones.

Somewhere off in the distance a clock chimed, like it did at the top of very hour. I just led my body slide farther under the soapy bath water. Tonight was a huge night for me. Keeping rules and boundaries set between the gang and the clan never went smoothly, and I had to be prepared and on top of things. So why was I soaking up warm water, letting my mind wander when I should be ready to meet Karai by now. How could I just up and erase the experience I had just a few hours ago from my mind. He was close enough to me to touch, yet at the same time he was stranger to me. Maybe somewhere it clicked in him that he had known the faint presence of me somewhere beneath the roof of a hockey arena, but he didn't show any signs of recognition until I was already rooftops away.

I flicked the plug from its drain in the tub and I sat there until all the water had escaped me. I finally took a deep breath and urged myself to get up and get ready. I could already tell this was not going to be a good night.

Within minutes I had managed to get on all of my patrol gear and braid my hair back into a loose braid. I slid my boots out from underneath my bed and fumbled with the laces sliding my dagger in the side like I always did before patrols. As I rose from the bed I noticed the katana Karai had left or me. I glanced over at my bo-staff and sighed, conforming to the unfamiliar was not my forte. I raised the leather strap over my shoulder and got used to the feel of the blade on my back. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew my Uncle had trained me with a sword and I was actually very good at it. In the past two years I had searched for a sword that would suit me, but came up short. Karai told me I had lost my sword during the invasion and as much as I searched every square of the city, there was no chance I would ever find it. But I had come to find that my bo-staff was all I really needed to get by in terms of protecting myself. Apparently Karai had thought differently.

I strolled out of my room with my hood already up, it was quarter of midnight and Karai would be expecting me shortly.

In the lobby I caught a glimpse of Karai seated by the large fireplace. Most of our people had gone to bed by now, or were out patrolling. Grant was seated in the chair next to Karai and I gave him a smile to which he returned gesturing me over.

"Are you coming with us tonight?" I asked Grant who had been sharpening the blade of his ax casually on his lap.

"Grant's running a small patrol group to keep an eye on us from above, like usual. If things start getting out of control he'll be there to back us up." Karai said before Grant could speak.

"So who's here to keep things under control?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Caleb, who else?" She said blankly back at me.

Caleb, oh Caleb. He had been here since Karai was introduced to the clan and he had somehow proven his worthiness. He would've been the head of the clan if it weren't for Karai, but despite the obvious conflict that should've surfaced, they had become very good friends and she relied on him whenever Herself and I wouldn't be there to look over everyone. He was a good kid, pretty smart too and somewhere I knew he must've had a thing for Karai. The only thing is Karai had her mind focused on someone else, and no one knew who it was.

"Speak of the devil" Grant said inhaling sharply.

Caleb, tall dark and handsome strolled into the lobby and right over to where we had all taken seats. His tan lean arms rested on the back of Grant's chair and he looked to Karai for conversation.

"And you need?" She asked sharply.

"Nothing, but I do have reports coming in that he's out again. SO...just keep an eye out."

"Who's out again?" I asked butting my way into convo like usual.

"The Dark Prince." Grant said in a spooky voice wiggling his fingers at me. I managed to muffle a laugh and he gave me a wink.

"The Nightwatcher, another name of his you might be more familiar with." Caleb said turning his attention back to Karai who looked unamused.

"Thanks Caleb, keep an eye on things. Grant go run your patrol and Alex..." She said gesturing for me to follow her. "Let's get this over with." I said mumbling.

It was about a twenty minute walk from the hospital to the outskirts of gang territory. Their headquarters was an abandoned warehouse posted near an old harbor they used to transport rummaged goods to buyers out of the city. Luckily for us, Karai had some of the foots mechanics fix up a bike for her, which shortened our ride to five minutes.

We stashed the bike a block from the outskirts to be sure gang members wouldn't touch it and walked right up to the boundary line we had established. A scrawny guy about mid twenties walked up to us and looked us up and down with a glare.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of two members of the foot." he said spitting at our feet. I wanted to reach right up and sock him in the eye but the warning look from Karai reminded me why we were here.

"We're here to see Hun." Karai said sharply.

"Oh course, of course. The clan sisters. Follow me." She sad leading us through the dirty streets. Mutant carcasses laid piled up in alley-ways and the smell was overwhelming. To my own demise I let my eyes linger a little too long down one of the carcass filled dumps and caught glimpse of a fresh body, except instead of a mutant it was distinctively human with a slit throat, and I managed to choke down a gag.

Our guide caught my eye and gave me a devilish smirk.

We walked in silence for another few minutes or so until we reached a giant warehouse. From the outside it looked abandoned, as if a gang never existed here, but we knew, we had been here many times before. As soon as the door opened I knew the smell of cigars and alcohol would hit me like a truck so I braced myself stepping in the doorway.

The scrawny man left us at the door to return to his post and instead and slightly cleaner face greeted us with an actual smile.

"I'm Jace, I'll take you to Hun."

For being in a gang Jace looked incredibly normal, maybe he was taken in after the invasion to be another life to push around. I followed his flaming red hair through crowds of men and occasionally women gathered around pool tables. In here it felt as if the world had never stopped moving for them, they never lost the city, they only gained form the invasion. It was like an ongoing party, people slamming drinks, smoking cigars and who knows what else. But boy did they smell. Did they have showers in this place or did they just throw themselves into the harbor form time to time.

Jace led us up a maze of stairs that held everything from people making out, to people passed out. There was even a young boy playing with matches. This place was a disaster waiting to happen. I just shook my head at the boy and trailed Karai up the stairs. Finally we reached a closed door on one of the quieter levels. Jace knocked on the door for us and gave us both smiles before returning to the chaos a few flights below.

From the other side the door opened and a burly man, probably nearing his thirties stepped aside for us to enter.

"Karai." He said in a husky voice

"Hun." Karai said seating herself in a black leather chair. I took an identical one next to her. _Probably stolen _I thought to myself

"Our agreements have been kept, unless there was something I do not know of?" He said seating himself behind a sturdy wooden desk. The purple dragons were still low-level criminals in my mind, but had actually bunkered down and made a business of themselves. It was like a bee-hive. The gang members went off and scavenged anything hey could find that might have once been of value and brought it back to their master. Hun. A six foot, burly, bleach blonde haired man that could probably take your head clean off in one blow.

"Everything has been in order." Karai said. "I am only here to make sure it stays that way."

"Give us more blocks and I'll see."

"Any more blocks and you'll run into my soldiers patrol routes. You wouldn't want that would you." She said narrowing her eyes at the man as if he were nothing more than a senseless rat. I sat there as the arguing and bickering went on. It always went down like this, but at the end they came to terms. Karai would give up a block and the purple dragons would stay away from our turf. I tuned out after Karai threatened to behead him.

I tuned back in a Karai stood up, my signal it was over and we were leaving.

"Thank you for coming to terms once again, Hun."

"Next time I hope the bargain be a better one. Or else little princess here will be just another body in our alley-ways." He said taking tight hold of my shoulder. I shot Karai a look and in seconds a sword was pointed at his face.

"I should have you know, my companion here could take on a hundred of your best men and leave them lifeless before her feet without attaining a single scratch." She said with a smirk. "All while using nothing but a wooden stick."

He eased his grip on me but his message was clear. I smiled at Karai and she took my arm to follow her out of the room.

"Let's get out of here." She said smirking at me.

I fell in step with her as we walked down the winding stair case. As we hit the second floor something was off. Hardly anyone was around and the loud music had stopped, leaving nothing but hushed voices and the smell of cigars. Karai gave me the "Be ready for anything look" as we reached the first floor.

Pool tables had turned into operating tables as bloody gang members were dragged in through the door. In that moment I felt my heartbeat speed up, this had now become the most dangerous place to be, we posed as enemies and their comrades were piling up on the tables bruised and bloody. We both unsheathed our swords about to take the first steps onto the first floor. At a distant pool table I saw someone lay down the boy I had met earlier, how could you mistake that flaming red hair.

Without Karai's approval I took off for the table putting my blade back in it's place not caring what the gang members around me were doing.

"Jace, what happened" I said in a worried voice. It pained me to see such innocent life draining away. He was probably the only one in this whole place I had liked when met him just an hour ago.

His eyelids flickered open and I saw the hurt in his eyes.

"He...came back...it was...him." He managed to choke out. In-between his words he coughed out blood and I had to look away, unfortunately I had only averted my eyes to sights much worse. His leg had been practically sliced in half and it was bent in all unnatural ways. Suddenly I wanted to find the person who was behind this and do much worse to him.

"The nightwatcher." A bulky man said as he came up next to me.

"He did this?" I asked placing my hand on Jace's arm.

"He's been after our men for weeks now. This was the worst attack."

I looked at Jace, who was slowly fading away. "Wont you do something?" I said with pleading eyes.

"We don't have the stuff to save these people, we're limited here."

"We have a hospital, let me take him there." I said practically begging now.

The man just shrugged and walked to another table to check over what was going on. Karai managed to find me in the expanding crowd and tugged on my arm. "Alex we have to leave. Now" She said in her stern voice.

"I wont leave without him." I said standing firm.

"No."

"Karai." I said "Have a heart for once."

"I had a heart when I took you in, remember?"

"So let me take him in."

She just rolled her eyes and talkied Grant to get the boy, he was only a block away, unless he had seen the attack and jumped in. My mind started to picture images of my people wounded under the hands of this dark prince, those images were chased away when I saw Grant come through the door. A this point no gang members were wiling to react because of the number of bodies they were tending to.

"What's up." Grant said casually as if he hadn't just walked directly into enemy headquarters.

"We have to get him out of here." I said pointing to Jace who's breath was starting to hitch. "Do now, ask questions later" I said as I saw the questioning look on his face. Orders were orders and Grant always followed through.

For once I saw a glimmer of mercy in Grant's eyes and he went over to Jace and slowly picked him up bridal style being careful with every movement he made.

"You owe me big time Al" He whispered to me as I watched him depart through the door. Suddenly reality had come crashing down on me when I stepped out the door to head home and escape this mess. Fresh bodies lay on the ground, to many for only one person to be responsible. I caught a worried woman by the arm before she could go inside.

"Is he still out there?" I said referring to the Nightwatcher.

She hastily nodded her head and I let her go. I was so full of hate and rage that someone could be so malicious and disgusting. The purple dragons aren't that great of people, but taking so many lives in one night? You had to be mentally ill or very sick. I stormed the streets running the opposite direction of everyone else. Before I even knew what I was doing I had my mask up and my sword drawn, and I found myself alone with the carcasses of the mutants and human bodies.

I slowly turned in a full circle, making sure I could see everything before I went on. Nothing on the roofs, nothing in the alleys.

"Nightwatcher!" I yelled in the angriest voice I could muster.

Nothing.

Then I heard a low growl and a mutant appeared before me. Not what I was looking for. I studied this creature, probably some poor soul who came in contact with the kraangs mutagen during the invasion. The blood on it's face and around it's clawed feet told me the nightwatcher wasn't the only one to play a part in this attack. What did he even look like anyway.

As the Mutant approached I got ready for it's attack. It lunged at me and I slashed out missing a leg by an inch. I turned quickly as my attacker pounced at me again this time I came in contact with it. I watched as it's blood seeped out onto the road. As if nothing had even happened the mutant looked as if it were going to attack again, and when I looked to the injured leg there was nothing there. It had healed itself, with only the evidence of the blood on the ground to prove I had even attacked it. I couldn't fight this one off, it would only drain me of the energy I needed to confront the one I was actually looking for. I quickly sped for a fire escape, remembering I had powers I went invisible and climbed the stairs unseen by my attacker.

As I got to the roof I saw even more mutants, this time winged ones tearing at the flesh of some unlucky purple dragons. I silently cursed myself and took off over the rooftops towards hopefully safer territory.

When I got about five rooftops away I noticed my invisibility was fading in and out and eventually I was back to normal. My powers had been damaged during the invasion so I had limited myself to using them, but as the days turned into months they faded. I couldn't tell if I was going to lose them forever.

I dropped to my knees and tried to steady my breathing. Yes, I had just witnessed a massacre. Yes, probably fifty people had been killed our mortally wounded. No, I didn't find the Nightwatcher. I let out an agitated sigh an let my head fall into my hands. I had saved one life right? Did that count towards anything?

I felt my throat start to knot up and tears threatened to run down my face. That's when I heard a low growl again and saw that another mutant had picked up my scent and followed me to the rooftops. It was about five foot off the ground and looked at me like I was it's next meal. It's talons twitched with anxiety and I could see the pulse of mutagen running through it's veins.

"Jesus Christ, leave me alone!" I screamed at it.

It backed off a step only to watch my movement. Within seconds it was coming at me and I raised myself to it's level and blindly swung. I couldn't tell if I had made contact but I heard a yowl of pain and when I looked up I saw it had not been me to make contact. A throwing star had been planted in the mutants forehead and it slumped away growling.

For some reason I didn't care who had thrown the star. I started to try and find my way back home.

"You'd think it'd be nice to get a 'Hey thanks for saving my life' once in a while."

I froze. That voice, I had heard it before. I turned to face him.

It was him.

I looked him in the eyes and I felt a single tear escape me. He just looked at me shaking his head. "You know I try to help people out, maybe save a life once in a while and you know what? I never get shit for it." He turned his back to me about to leave.

I was speechless, then I realized I still had my mask and hood up. I let my hood fall and slowly pulled my mask away from my face revealing the freckles that danced along my nose and under my eyes.

"Please." I said in almost a whisper about to let the tears fall out.

He turned slowly to face me, his face still twisted in anger from his outburst he had only a minute ago. I locked eyes with him and his face softened.

It took him a few minutes to realize what had just happened. He studied me and it looked like his mind was racing. In that time I had dropped back to my knees with my eyes still locked with his. Pleading, hoping for any signs of recognition.

"Oh my god." He choked out in a hushed voice. I heard the crack of wood on the ground as he dropped his hockey stick in disbelief.

In that millisecond it felt like everything had slowed down, I could almost hear the beating of my own heart and it was racing. It was like I had gone blind, I could see but nothing was connecting, hearing intensified and I started to feel as if this might be a cruel dream I was sure to wake up from any minute now.

Just like that time caught back up with me and I hear footsteps coming towards me, slowly. I lowered my eyes to the ground trying to hold everything back as a figure dropped to it's knees in front of me, mirroring my image.

"Is it really you..." He said trying to hold back his own choked voice.

My head was spinning, then he touched me and my mind was cleared. He put this hand under my chin and raised it until my eyes met his. I couldn't hold it in anymore, my eyes burned as the tears ran down my face.

"Casey." I said in my own choked whisper.

"Alex." He said pulling me into his lap wrapping me up tightly in his arms. His scent filled my nose, that familiar musty motor oil and dirt smell. In that moment I forgot everything I knew about myself and could only think of Casey. The hockey player that used to taunt me and give me piggy back rides.

"You're alive." He whispered in my ear clutching onto me tighter.

We were a tangled mess of tears and human bodies. Both taking our fair share of emotional roller-coasters chocked full of feelings. I was in the arms of a six foot four maniac who carried around hockey sticks as weapons, the same maniac that had thanked me for saving his sister, who taught me how to skate and learned to love me as just another sibling. In return I had loved him as a brother I had never had, and he became a best friend.

Two years apart, thinking each other were dead, and it takes a massacre of purple dragons to drag us back together. I choked out a tear soaked laugh and he just rested his head on top of mine.

"I missed you Al" he said in hushed voice and I felt a tear of his fall onto my face.

"I missed you too Case" I whispered back letting the tears fall freely now.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

_It was dark, and I could just barely make out my outline in the mirror. It looked like my outline, but for some reason I felt like it wasn't me, how could I tell if it was so dark? I reached my hand up to the mirror as if to wipe away the darkness that plagued the unknown figure, but instead my hand travelled through the mirror. As I drew nearer and nearer to the mirror I allowed my arm to travel further into it. I couldn't stop myself. It was pulling me in. _

_As the rest of my body stepped through the portal it dispersed behind me and I realized it was lighter now. When I looked down at my body I was wearing a red dress with high heels, not the typical outfit for me. The room I was standing in was blank, it was just me and in the corner, another mirror. This time I could see the figure in the reflection. It was me but I looked different. No scars, bruises or cuts, not even a scrath...my skin looked like porcelain, so perfect and smooth, but fragile. My hair fell in perfect loose curls around my face and the red dress made my pale skin glow in the light the room was giving off. As I watched my reflection the area behind me drastically changed._

_The blank walls morphed into lovely walls of lattice filled with roses of all different colors, white, pink, orange, and the deepest red imaginable. I was so consumed in the beauty of it all I hadn't realized the mirror vanished and the void behind me had turned into a beautiful walk-way full of flowers and vines, above me the sun was in the sky and I felt its warmth on my back as I walked down the winding garden path. _

_"Alex?" A voice called from behind a wall of flowers. It was almost like a whisper and it echoed around me._

_I didn't recognize the voice but I felt like I could trust it. _

_"Yes?" I called back. _

_Up ahead in the distance I saw an archway, twine with ivy and a beautiful orange flower I had never seen before. Under it stood a young boy, in a suit waiting for me. _

_"Enjoying the garden?" He asked as I neared him. _

_"It's beautiful." I said smiling at the boy. In all my time paying attention to the flowers I had realized I did not know this boy, but I was allowing myself to be around him. He almost drew me in and he looked young enough to hold innocence and laughter so I trusted him in that moment hoping I would continue my journey along the pathways. _

_"Who are you?" I said looking at him quizzically._

_He just laughed and smiled at me. "Oh Alex you're too funny." _

_I just looked at him._

_"Follow me." He said gesturing for my arm. I gladly took it and he led me down another winding path full of flowers and vines. _

_"Why am I here?" I asked looking up at him. For being younger than me I was surprised to find he had only fell a few inches above my eye line, given the fact I was wearing high heels. _

_"I don't know, didn't you come here on your own?" He said keeping his eyes set on our path. _

_I didn't answer. I couldn't explain the mirror situation or how the blank void had turned into a garden so I just stayed silent._

_"We've been waiting for you to come back, we missed you so much Al." The boy said. _

_"Wh-what are you talking about?" I asked. _

_Before he could say anything else another, older boy came up to us and greeted me and I realized the boy who guided me here had vanished. "Whe-where'd he go?!" I said spinning around but the boy just looked at me like no one was there but me. _

_"Come with me." he said. _

_I followed behind him a he led me down a path full of flowers ranging from dark purple to lavender. It was so beautiful but as the sun was setting it looked almost menacing. I could tell the boy was guarded, but he seemed to easily let me in like he had know me for some time. He stayed quiet through most of our journey but often I'd watch him look to the flowers and sigh, like he was longing for something. Had we become lost?_

_"Are we lost?" I asked falling in step beside him. _

_He just let out a chuckle and sighed. "No, we're not lost Alex." _

_"Then what's wrong?"_

_"I'm just wondering why you haven't let us until now. You kept us at a distance for so long I felt like I'd never see you're face again." He turned to face me this time. "But yet here you are." He said smiling. _

_I felt my skin get hot under his guarded smile, he was attractive with his brown hair and reddish brown eyes. But he looked like he was already in love and part of me saw him as untouchable territory. I hadn't realized we had stopped walking only after I noticed the walls of flowers weren't moving with me anymore. "Why'd we stop?" I asked, but the boy just smiled and vanished into thin air. _

_Whatever was going on was making my head spin, how did they know me, where was I?_

_"Hello." A deep but charming voice came form behind me. The walls of purple flowers had bloomed into a beautiful striking blue and my eyes fells on the young man who stood in from of me. He had to be at least twenty unlike the others who were noticeably younger. His blonde hair looked almost bleached and as he drew nearer I noticed his eyes were even more of a striking blue than the flowers behind him. _

_"Hi..." I said shyly looking up to him. _

_"I had expected you earlier Al, what took you so long?" He said gazing into my eyes. _

_"Who are you, what's going on.?" I asked feeling like a sheep in the shadow of a lion._

_"You don't recognize me?" He said in a tone that sounded neither hurt or surprised. _

_"No" I said in almost a whisper. _

_He looked at me with eyes that were full of longing and want, but he seemed guarded, even more than the boy before him. I felt a sudden chill In the air and looked up to see the sun had set, and lanterns along the path had been lit by candles. As we walked down the candle lit path he hardly spoke, but reached for my hand. I hesitated a little but wrapped his fingers in mine anyway, and part of me wished it could be that way forever, but something told me I had a little more to go. _

_"Alex, please don't shut us out this time." The boy said in a shaky voice. "Please remember." _

_I looked up to meet his eyes and noticed for the first time he wore a blue cloth around his eyes like some vigilante. _

_"Take your mask off." I said reaching for it. _

_He drew back. "I-I can't." he said. _

_"Why not, help me remember." I said in almost a whisper. _

_"You wouldn't trust me in my true form. Not anymore." And with that he vanished like the other boys had but this time a blue clothe floated to my feet. It was the one around his eyes. Thinking back I realized all three of the boys had been wearing cloths around their eyes, but I hadn't been paying that much attention to them. I hadn't even known who they were, yet they knew me like I had been in their lives._

_Suddenly the flowers started dying rapidly and as they melted away to the ground, the scene around me changes and the smell of garbage and rotting carcasses filled my nose. As I looked around trying not to gag on the smell, I realized I was now in the city back in my footclan garb. "Don't trust him." a voice echoed around me. It was the voice of the last boy I had met. I grabbed for my staff but it wasn't there. I had no weapons. _

_Behind me I heard a growl and I turned to face a mutant. As it got ready to lunge for me a small chain wrapped around it's back legs and it was pulled away into the darkness. Moments later another boy appeared, and like the last he had a cloth tied around his face to hide his true identity. This time the cloth was blood red and he scared me. He wasn't welcoming like the others and I already didn't trust him._

_"I just saved your life you know." He said with a cocky smile standing on the other side of the roof. _

_"I could've handled that myself." I shot back. _

_"Oh Alex, so stubborn just like the day we first met." He said daring to lock our eyes. My heart sped up and I felt almost like I could pass out right there. _

_"I don't know you, go away." _

_"But you do know me, you're just afraid to admit it." He said sounding angry with me. _

_"Leave me alone!" I yelled. Yet somewhere deep inside I realized I had know him some time in the past, his personality was recognizable yet his form was not entirely him. The words of the eldest boy I met echoed in my head. "You wouldn't trust me in my true form...not anymore." What did that mean? _

_"What a shame, to think at some point I loved you." He spat._

_I was on my knees now, trying to tame my mind. The questions and puzzle pieces running rapid through my brain brining on a migraine and fresh tears. "I should've ended you on that rooftop Alex, so much pain I would've never had to go through if it wasn't for you!" _

_"Who are you!?" I said through choked words. _

_"You're worst nightmare." He said with an arrogant smirk as he drew his sai._

* * *

"Alex!"

"God dammit, wake up!"

I opened my eyes to Casey looming over me with his hands on my shoulders. I could feel the stray tears on my cheeks and quickly whipped them away, the dream...it was meant to be a puzzle. I had to figure this out. In that moment I decided I to make a very rash decision. I could stop at Casey, or keep digging deeper into my past to find the ones I used to call family. The only one I really remembered other than Casey was April, maybe she held the key to the others. Then I thought back to my dream which had left me shaking. Were the boys in my dreams the ones missing from my memory, they kept asking why I shut them out and were asking me to remember? So the question is was it a dream? Or more of a realization.

"Take me to April." I said in a choked whisper.

"What?"

"I want to see April..."

He took his hands off me and sat down next to me on the couch I had been asleep on and let out a very long sigh. With his elbows on his knees he rubbed his face in his hands. "April isn't in the city Al."

"What do you mean?" I said

"Her farmhouse, she went back there to live and say safe. I haven't seen her in over a year."

He looked almost hurt when he said he hadn't seen her, but I pushed the subject even further.

"Casey." He looked up at me. "I need to see her, please take me." I said with pleading eyes.

"One condition."

"Anything." I said practically begging now.

"You have to help me out first." He said with a smirk.

* * *

"Casey! I'm pretty sure this is illegal!" I said climbing through a broken window doing my best to avoid the glass shards.

"Laws don't apply to an empty city. No cops, no people, no problems." He said with a grin helping me to the ground.

"Whatever, what are we here for anyway?"

"Well since I don't have any way of getting you to the farmhouse, I figured we should get some means of transportation."

"And where are you going to find a car in an abandoned warehouse?" I asked starting to doubt Casey's wit.

He began searching for the breaker panel to switch the lights on while I squinted my eyes to see what was actually here. Looked like nothing.

"Not a car Al." He said as I heard him fiddling around with the switches. He must've found the right ones because the lights came on all throughout the building. "We're here for that." He said pointing to a shiny black bike in the middle of the warehouse floor.

"No way" I said shaking my head.

"It's the only vehicle I know that works still." He said walking over to it.

"And how do you know that? Is it yours?" I asked crossing my arms across my chest.

"Let' just say...it belongs to an old friend of mine." He said, his face going serious.

"So we're stealing it then." I said starting to worry about Casey's intent.

"Think of it as borrowing." He said with a wicked grin as he slid the kickstand up. "Let's ride!"

"We have one more stop" I said sliding my legs up and over the bike as it roared to life.

* * *

"No no no no and no! Alex!" Talon roared as I told him I was leaving with the maniac that he almost killed a few days ago.

"I'm going regardless, I need some time to figure things out." I said turning to take my bag full of clothes and staff into the hall with me to leave. He followed closely behind and I could tell he was not happy.

"We thought you were dead! and now you're leaving with some deranged guy who could just as well kill you."

"Have a little faith Tal" I said laughing. "Besides I already talked to Karai and she thinks it's good idea."

"Yeah well Karai's deranged too." he said letting out a huff. "Come back alive, promise?" he said pulling me into an embrace. It wasn't unlike Talon to be touchy but I felt this hug wasn't meaningless like all the other ones.

"Promise." I said leaning my head into his shoulder. "Will you walk me out?" I asked.

"I think there's one last person you need to see." He said with a grin. I looked at him with questioning smile.

He led be through the medical wing doors to one of the rooms where healing foot soldiers stay. When I walked in behind him I was confused, why would he take me here, plus I had already said my goodbyes to the other four, Grant, Jax, Pep, and Murph. Suddenly Fire red hair caught my eye and everything from that night came rushing back to me. I had been staying with Casey for two days now, not even bothering to go to the hospital, two days I had left this poor boy alone.

"Jace..." I said in a choked whisper.

I jogged over to his bed and took a seat in one of the chairs. He was in rough shape but looked a lot more alive than what he had when Grant carried him here. Horror struck as I realized the doc had completely amputated his leg from the knee down. I wanted to just hug him, maybe even stay here until he woke up but I knew I had saved his life and that was enough.

"He's been out for a few days, I'm hoping he comes around soon, the meds have him all messed up." Talon said with a chuckle.

I just sighed and gently squeezed his hand. "It's Alex, I'll be back soon, please get better." I said whispering in his ear. I had heard somewhere that when people are in an a coma like state they can still hear everything you say.

As we left I took one last look back at the life I had saved before reality struck again and the doors swung shut behind me.

...

"So you're really doing this..." Grant said as I met him at the door.

"Why wanna come?" I said smirking at him. He just shook his head.

"Well, come here then." He said outstretching his giant muscular arms to me. I gladly hugged him, but slowly felt my lungs being squeezed out of me. "Get back here soon or I'll come lookin for you, I don't trust that guy." He said pointing his thumb to Casey who was waiting outside the doors leaning up against the bike.

"I'll be fine." I said slinging by bag over my shoulder.

"What if they're not the people you think you remember." Talon said trying to convince me to stay where it was safe.

"Talon please, just let me go." I sighed. "I'll be back" I said smiling.

I looked up to see Karai on the loft looking down at me, actually smiling, not her usual smirk. I waved and she just shook her head and walked off. I knew she was happy I was doing something about my memories, but I feared she didn't trust them either.

I took one last look back at Grant and Talon and walked out the doors. As I got on the bike and wrapped my arms around Casey, Grant had come outside.

"You better take care of her, or else you'll have an ax in your head." He said to Casey. I just shook my head. Grant could be rather...protective.

"She's in good hands." Casey said back saluting him mockingly before we took off down the road with dirt and dust flying up behind us. Was I really going to see April? A knot formed in my stomach as I pictured her standing face to face with me for the first time in two years. What would she say? But most of all what would she tell me about our old life together.

I was both ecstatic and terrified at the same time.

* * *

**A/N: That's it for another chapter, hope you guys are liking this story so far. So what's going to happen when the two meet for the first time in two years? Reminder, Casey is 19, Alex is 18 and April is 20. **

**Read &amp; Review (: **


	5. Chapter 5

**YOU ALL BETTER STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO SEND YOU ON A CRAZY TRAIN RIDE FULL OF BOMBSHELLS. GET READY FOR THIS ONE PEOPLE.**

* * *

Chapter Five.

Two hours of pouring rain and an empty gas tank later I was beginning to wonder if this journey was worth it. We had been stranded under the abandoned roof of a lonely gas station out in the middle of nowhere, it was quiet and dark, and for the summer time it was cold. I wrapped myself in an old blanket I found on one of the still stocked shelves and sat down next to Casey who had grabbed a bag of chips off the counter.

"You're not seriously going to eat that, are you?" I said looking for the expiration date on the bag.

"Two words Al, Iron. Gut." He said as he broke the seal of the bag and reached his hand in.

I just shook my head. Unfortunately I had not even thought to grab food for the haul, and part of me was relying on April to have something to eat at the farmhouse. Apparently Casey and I both thought the same, since the only thing he brought was a pair of clothes and his hockey sticks.

What if April wasn't even at the farmhouse? How could Casey know if she was still there after a year of no communication. It seemed highly unlikely that the two would just drop each other after everything they've been through, but maybe I'm not remembering something, or maybe Casey has left me in the dark this whole time. Never once has he brought up our old memories or even April and the others, it makes me feel like somewhere he doesn't want to remember.

Or maybe he had brought them up, maybe he mentioned them so nonchalantly that I hadn't even registered what he was talking about. When we had went to get the bike he mentioned it belonged to an old friend of his. Could this be one of the faceless names of my memories? Or someone he had come by after the invasion. Either way the look on his face told me they were no longer friends, or somehow one had crossed the other. I pushed the thoughts to the back of my head and tried to focus on getting to the farmhouse.

"How much farther do you think the house is?"

"Oh, I don't know...probably fifteen, twenty miles?" He said still working on the chips. "We'll camp out here tonight and in the morning lets hope those gas pumps still have something left in them, or we're walking."

"Is it safe to stay here? I mean do you think mutants would've traveled out this far by now?"

"They're probably living in the woods on the outskirts of the city, but nothing like way out here...at least I hope not." He said giving me one of his wicked smirks.

We were a whole day's worth of travel away from the city, nothing a wandering mutant couldn't handle but it did seem unlikely they would want to roam so far away from familiarity. I hoped we wouldn't come across any, from what I've seem they're not to easy to kill, let alone injure.

As the night drew on I helped Casey roll the bike inside, and barricade the door. Apparently wandering humans could be just as dangerous, any human who could survive in a mutant filled city could probably take a life without second thought. Or so I've heard.

"Al, look at this!" Casey said from the back of the store. I left my place at the storefront window to follow the voice. Behind the counter stood Casey, and in his hands, a shotgun. From knowing Casey I knew hockey sticks were probably the most dangerous weapon he should have.

"The owner must've kept one behind the counter when this place was still running." he said running his hands along the barrel of the gun.

"Casey, put that down before you hurt yourself." I said placing my hands on my hip for emphasis.

"Relax, I used to hunt with my dad, anyway we should probably take this with us for protection it's loaded already too."

"Whatever, I just wanna go to bed." I said gathering up the blankets I had collected from the shelves.

I spread them out in the small space behind the counter I had chosen for myself and wrapped myself up in the soft fleece. I had almost fallen asleep before I heard Casey clear his throat.

"Case, I left you some blankets on the counter." I said annoyed that he had bragged my out of almost sleep.

"It's not that, uhh, it's just that..."

"That what." I said bluntly. "

"In case someone or something walks by and looks in the window, I think it's best we both be behind the counter." I sat up and glared at him. "For protection, you know..."

"Whatever" I said trying my best to make room for Casey in the already crammed space. He did have a point though, I shouldn't leave Casey out in the open, but they way he asked was just too awkward. Maybe after two years apart it's a lot harder to get back on comfortable terms. I tried to fall back asleep as Casey tried to get comfortable in the nest of blankets. Often he'd bump me with his elbow or his leg could rub up against mine and soon enough I was pushed as far up against the wall my body could handle.

"You know, I think I would've rather taken the chance of sleeping out in the open than spend one more minute squished between you and the wall." I said in a choked voice. "It doesn't help that you're hogging the blankets either, it's getting cold in here." I tried pulling my half of the blankets back over but they wouldn't budge.

I didn't get a response, just a grunt and continued snoring. I sighed, this was going to be a long night.

After what had felt like an hour Casey had stopped fidgeting and my eyes finally started drooping, I drifted off into my mind as my pulse slowed and my body stilled.

_"Alex?" A voice called from behind. I was in a white room, I couldn't tell where the wall met the floor and my eyes stung while they adjusted to the brightness that surrounded me. "Is it really you?" the voice called again. As I turned I saw a large cage had been placed in the room with me, and inside the figure which contained the voice. The boy was bloodied and beaten, he looked like his soul was drifting out of him, and his eyelids drooped halfway over his eyes._

_"Who are you?" I asked as the boy let his head drop. He was on his knees and his arms had been suspended above him by two chains. The bruises, and the dried gashes that plagued his body told me he had been in there for a while._

_"You died." He said shaking his head. "You're not really here." He said letting his body fall limp under the chains suspending his arms._

_I walked over to the cage, I felt remorse for this poor boy but I couldn't find a way to help him. He was in such awful condition that even if I could help him it wouldn't do much good._

_"What's your name?" I asked in a soft voice._

_"Why are you here." Is all he said in response._

_He chuckled. "You don't even remember me." He said shaking his head._

_I reached my hand in the cage and placed my hand lightly on his shoulder. "Help me remember then." I asked._

_When I touched him his body stiffened, as if realizing for the first time he was no longer alone. His head slowly raised to meet my eyes. I watched as piercing blue eyes met mine, it was the boy from my last dream. The oldest one._

_"I know you." I said in a choked whisper._

_"In this form." He said blankly back. "You don't remember what I really look like, the person you used to confide in, the one that spent so many days trying to get your attention. It's me Alex."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about." I said trying to understand what he had just said._

_"It was me who let you cry on my shoulder, it was me helped you. I am the blue you see everywhere, in the ocean, in the summer skies. The hue that plagues your mind subconsciously. I am always there, but you know me by color rather than by what I look like." He let out a forced sigh from the strain he was under._

_My mind was mush. I was more focused on his scars and bruises than what he had said. Blue, he was blue? What did that even mean. The last time I had seen him he had a blue cloth around his eyes, maybe that's what he meant._

_"Let me help you." I said reaching my arms further into the cage, searching for anyway to get him out, to help._

_"You can't" He said very simply, like it was almost a joke._

_"Let me try."_

_"You don't get it. I'm trapped here." He said looking me dead in the eye._

_"By who?" I asked getting to my feet, I figured if I could find this person I could possibly confront them and manage to swipe away the keys to the cage. The more I looked around thought, I couldn't find a key hole. There was no entrance, and no exit. "Who put you in here?"_

_"you." He said glaring at me. For the first time I sensed hostility and for a moment was glad he was chained away from me._

_"I didn't do this." I said crouching in front of him once more._

_"You locked us away Alex. You remember us by color, not by figure."_

_"What?" I said trying to take everything in at once._

_"Find her, find us."_

_"Find who? Who are you?!" I said in a demanding voice now. This conversation wasn't adding up._

_"I'm you're last memory!" The boy flung his body against the cage making the chains rattle. "I am rooftops, katanas, friend, trust!...love" He let his body settle. "That is the only trace of me left within you!"_

_I was silent. I didn't respond, I couldn't respond, how was I supposed to?_

_"What do you want from me." I said in a hushed voice as I fell to my knees. A single tear rolled down my face and the hard glare from the boy changed into an apologetic look._

_"For you to free me."_

_"How!" I yelled._

_"Find her, and find me."_

_"Who! Tell me who!" I cried into the cage._

_"Find her, find us." His voice sounded like it was fading, and quick. "Free me, come back to me." _

_I shut my eyes and cupped my ears as his voice rang in my head. When I opened them again I was alone. No cage, no boy. A knocking started on the walls of the room and my head started pounding as I got the sensation of being dragged, I started screaming, pulling against the unknown force. Then everything went black._

* * *

_"_Morning sunshine." Casey said looming over me. He had another bag of chips in his hand and I could hear him crunching away.

Another dream, another puzzle left to figure out. Why did these dreams feel so real though? What is going on. The boy in my dreams said I had trapped him away, was that a connection to trapping the people from my past away in my locked up memories? He had also said he was my last memory...and the human form he took on wasn't his real one.

I racked my brain for my last memory I had before I was taken to the foot clan. Swirls of blue and red ran through my mind a I watched two figures on a rooftop look down at me. As they turned to leave my memory ended. He had been right, I could only ever associate my memories of people with colors, and the boy had said he was blue. I hadn't thought about the colors in almost a year. I felt a headache coming on as the color games I used to play with Karai every night came back to me.

"Blue." I said in a whisper not knowing I had spoken out loud.

"Blue what?" Casey said looking at me quizzically.

It suddenly came back to me. Blue was the leader katanas, friend, love...it all clicked as the name came back to me and rolled off my tongue.

"Leonardo." I said in an even quieter whisper.

I looked up at Casey who looked like a deer in headlights. He had dropped his bag of chips and was just staring at me. "Who?" Casey said lowering himself to me holding my gaze.

"Leo." I said suddenly getting a rush of hope. I needed to get to April asap. I jumped up folding a blanket into my pack as I slung it around my shoulder. "We need to get to April's did you get the gas?" I asked not wanting to hesitate for a moment. Every second I wasted was a second longer I would have to wait for my answers.

"Yes, but Alex...I need to talk to you about something!" I heard him yell as I pulled open the door.

"Can it wait? I really need to see April right now."

I felt a hand wrap around my arm and I turned to face Casey, who's expression was serious and for the first time looked worried.

"We really should talk." He said as he pulled me back into one of the isles.

I sat down impatiently on the floor as Casey funneled gas into the bike's tank. "That name I just heard you say." He sighed. "Who is Leonardo to you." It sounded more of a statement than a question.

"I hardly remember him, but you should remember everything. You were with them that night I fell from the roof."

"Yeah." He said sighing again. "I was there, but you should know something before we find April." His tone was still serious.

"You're scaring me Case." I said

"They're not the same people you remember Alex. They've changed. I haven't seen them in almost two years, let alone know where they are."

"What do you mean?" I said leaning into the conversation.

"We all split Al, there is no family anymore, we're all on our own now from what I know. There was a fight, some things were said and weapons were drawn. It was like a war." Casey said looking out the window at the rising sun. "I tired to grab April and get out but she thought she could stop them." He paused looking at me now. "They almost killed her Alex. She's lucky she got away with just a scratch."

"What? They tried to kill April?!"

"The blow wasn't meant for her but she crossed into the fire. We all split after that. April told me she was gong back to the farmhouse, and I decided to stay in the city where I belonged."

He muffled a quiet laugh and let his boy lean up against the bike. "Why Leonardo, why couldn't you say Mikey, or Don. My heart dropped when that came out of your mouth."

Mikey and Don, orange and purple floated around in my head. "Why." I asked.

"Leo was the one behind the blade that almost ended Aprils life. "

Every memory I had of Leo was his personality, he was pretty quiet most of the time, very kind and always careful. How could he just lose it like that? And trying to hurt April? Never!

"What happened to him?"

Casey started pushing the bike out the doors when he turned back to face me. "He became very sick, mentally. He kept blaming himself for what he did to you, he let you "die" in his mind and he really never forgave himself. He wouldn't sleep or eat, and we tried to help, we really did but he'd lash out. When he pulled the katana on April that's when the family unit split, we all went our separate ways and left Leo to his own demise. " he sighed. "He really loved you Alex, a lot more than he ever let on. And I think he still does, that's why he can't let you go."

I didn't say anything, Leo loved me? I stood up to follow Casey but my legs could hardly move. I was so appalled by what had happened. Was it right to see April after what had happened, I mean Leo was ill...over me. Would I bring that bitter reality back to her, or would she welcome me with open arms. Does she even remember? The bigger question, was she even at the farmhouse? I looped the gun and my bo-staff over my shoulders with my bag and slid a leg over the seat of the bike while Casey gave the engine life.

"Ready?!" He yelled over the hum of the engine.

I just nodded my head and the bike lurched forward. As I looked up I saw the skies had become dark for early morning and hoped we could make it to the house before the rain threatened to halt our journey once more.

I let my mind wander to Leo. He was alone in the city, on the verge of going completely insane. No guidance, no help. Part of me wanted to hold off on seeing April and go save Leo from himself but I kept my mind on track. April first, then if I could find him, Leonardo. Nothing Casey said had added up though, it seemed as if Leo lost all of his old self after the invasion. Was the old part of him trapped away in my dreams? When I had fallen from the roof did I take a piece of Leo with me? In my dreams he kept saying "Find her find us." Did he mean April? There way only one way to find out, and I was on my way there right now.

I was dragged out of my daze as the pavement turned to dirt underneath the bike. "Almost there!" I heard Casey yell.

As the minutes dragged on I felt like I had been on the bike for over an hour. How far was the farmhouse? We had to get there any minute now. I started to wonder if I could trust Casey to get us there on the correct route. Had he missed a turn? Or was it just really that long of a travel. The skies were getting darker and I felt a single rain drop fall on my arm. This day was beginning to take a turn for the worse.

We were on a long dirt road, surrounded by pines and trees you could tell had aged over the years. They were tall and I felt almost like they were closing in on me.

"How much longer?" I said in Casey's ear. "I don't know if I can take this anymore." I rested my chin on his shoulder and watched the front wheel on the bike spin.

Five minutes later an I felt Casey's breath hitch. I looked up to see if something had happened but my eyes went straight to the old pale white house at the end of the dirt road we had been on for a good hour. It's paint was chipped and it looked like it had seen years of wear. It was an old house, and by the looks of it, abandoned.

Maybe this wasn't the right house, but as we rolled closer I saw there was no other turns or continued road, and when Casey brought the bike to a halt I knew this was our destination. A dead end with a spooky run down house. Great. The perfect scene for a horror film.

"Is this it?" I said still siting on the bike as Casey got off.

"What'd you expect a five star hotel?" He said with a smirk. He was joking now but he was just as nervous as I was. I saw the shake in his hands and the anxiety in his eyes. Surely he had noticed the house looked abandoned also, and we might not even have the gas to make it back to our first stop. I slowly slid off the bike and he grabbed a hockey stick.

"Let's go see if anyone's home." He said gripping his stick in his hands.

I kept my bag and staff on my back and lifted the gun. My Uncle had taught me how to shoot a pistol before, how could this be that much different. I let Casey take the lead as we stepped up the stairs of the porch, just as it started to rain. I could hear thunder in the distance, just making the scene that much more terrifying. If there was a mutant inside instead of April, we could possibly take it down and seek refuge here for a few days then start from scratch, go back to the city and figure out where she went. I was praying she'd be here though, but the empty drive-way and uncut lawn drowned my hopes.

Casey knocked twice on the door, but no answer. We waited but there was nothing. I was about to call I quits and just check out the rest of the area when I heard a small shriek from inside the farmhouse. It made my heart jump and I could tell from the look on Casey's face, he wasn't to pleased about it either. Something was in there and from the sounds of it, it wasn't April.

Casey knocked once more, ready to bust down the door when the knob turned from the inside. I heard a quiet commotion and hushed voices and another shriek. I braced myself for whatever stood behind the door. Casey squared up ready for anything gripping his hockey stick so hard his knuckles turned white.

The seconds slowed down so slow I felt like we were standing there with adrenaline and anticipation for a good five minutes. As the door opened I expected to come face to face with a mutant, or refugees from the city hiding out. When I didn't see anyone I was a shocked. Then I noticed a tiny hand wrapped around the door pulling it open. A light shine through the frame of the door and I smelled pasta, and home-made sauce. It made my stomach churn I was so hungry.

When I came back to reality, I realized Casey hadn't moved. I pushed my way around him to find the tiny hand belonged to what looked like a toddler, but not all human.

"Hello." It said in a cheerful voice. "Who are you?" It looked at me with huge reddish brown eyes. Eyes I had seen once before. So innocent, so small, what was it doing out here all alone? Then I heard voices, and braced myself for whatever was lumbering towards the door. Casey pulled me back behind him as the small child was scooped up from behind the door with large green arms. Did I see that right? Green?

The doorway opened the rest of the way and in the frame stood a tall humanoid creature. It was all green, with three large fingers. On it's back I saw traces of a shell from what I could see standing behind Casey. A mutant turtle? Why hadn't it attacked us? Then I realized it looked incredibly human. I braced myself for an attack but Casey let his hockey still fall to the ground.

"Casey?" The creature said in almost a whisper.

"Daddy who is that?" The small creature whispered in his fathers ear.

"Don." Casey said locking eyes with the mutant who was equally as tall as him.

Don? The name rushed back to me. Could it be? Donatello? Swirls of purple danced around in my head as the human from my dreams came back into view. It was him, but was this his true form? I looked out from over Casey's shoulders and got my clarification. The purple cloth. It was wrapped around his eyes, just like the boy from my dreams. I felt like part of my memory had been unlocked as I remembered the lab, Doctor Don stitching me up after fights, he had saved my ass more than once, and I was standing right in front of him, two years older than when we had first met. Eighteen, It was really him.

The turtle set the toddler down and Casey met him in the frame of the doorway in a bear hug. As they were hugging and talking I had somehow gone unnoticed. In his moment of being reunited Casey had forgotten I was there.

I felt a tug on my finger and looked down to find the small child holding my pinky. "Who are you?" It said to me. It had a body like it's fathers but instead of three fingers it had five like a regular human. But unlike a human it had a small shell, dotted with small brown and white splotches. It looked like a painted turtle with the markings on it's face. but instead of traditional red and pink they were white and made it's auburn colored eyes pop. Then I realized where I had seen it's eyes before. On Donnie.

Casey and Don were still immersed in a hug and the turtle had his eyes closed, probably why he didn't see me, and why he was so absorbed in the moment.

"Up." The child said to me reaching for my arms. I bent down on one knee contemplating if I should touch it for moment, but it's eyes overpowered me and I brought the child into my arms. It squealed with joy as I lifted it getting the attention of it's father.

For a moment I had forget about the turtle in the doorway having a moment with Casey. Our eyes locked and he looked at me with curiosity for a moment, like I was a stranger. He didn't recognize me.

"Oh yeah" Casey said clearing his throat. "Guess who I found in New York." He said rubbing the back of his neck uneasily.

"Hey Donnie." I said in a soft voice.

He said nothing.

"Daddy who is she?" The child said playfully still in my arms, now running it's fingers through my hair. It had managed to get my hair out of my braid and was now untangling it for me.

All it took was two steps and the mutant was hovering over me, still locking his eye's with mine. One second I thought he was going to break my neck, the next I was wrapped into an embrace. "How..." he said in a whisper.

The child laughed and groped for it's dad who was wrapped up in my arms also. He detached himself from me taking the child in his arms. "This is an old friend, Wren." He said setting the toddler down who I now knew to be a little girl.

"What's your name?" She said walking up to me. "Are you Alex?"

I was shocked that the child had guessed my name and by the looks of it Donnie looked just as shocked. I watched out of the corner of my eyes as a tear escaped his eye.

"My mommy tells me stories about you at night. She said you went to go fight off the bad guys...did you win, is that why you came back to my mommy and daddy?"

I bent down on one knee. I couldn't believe what was coming out of this kids mouth. I choked down tears and nodded to the tiny girl with eyes full of wonder. "Yes, I'm back for good now. No more bad guys." I said with a smile.

I was so focused on the child I hadn't noticed the figure in the doorway was no longer Donnie.

"Mommy!" the girl shrieked as she ran into the arms of a flaming red head.

"I was wondering when you'd come around Case." She said pulling him in for a hug.

"April?" I said not realizing I had spoken. She looked at me with a smile.

"Hey Al." She said bounding over to me and wrapping me up in an embrace, for being so skinny she had a stronger grip on me than Donnie had. "I knew you were coming." she whispered into my ear. And with a smirk she pulled me inside with her child and Casey.

How did she know I was coming. How did she even know I was alive?

Before I could ask I caught a glimpse of orange out of the corner if my eye. Another small child zoomed passed me with an orange cloth in it's hand. He was followed by a young boy in his teens, I take that back, a young mutant in his teens chasing after him.

"Give it back!" he yelled. For being much older than the toddler he was just as immature. Then I realized it was Mikey. It had to be, the freckles, the innocence, the playfulness. More memories rushed back to me.

"Michelangelo, we have a guest." April said getting his attention.

The blue eyes locked onto Casey first and he bounded over couches and an end table to latch onto Casey.

"Casey Jones Lives!" He yelled at he top of his lungs getting shrieks of laughter from the two toddlers.

"Hey Mike." Casey said casually embracing him in bear hug.

"What brings you back he-" He stopped talking when he saw me. For a moment I felt lost in his gaze. It was so full of curiosity and confusion I couldn't react in time before his arms locked around me and I was lifted off the ground. "...We thought you were gone." he whispered into my ear. They way he worded it, made me feel like he couldn't have ever accepted the fact everyone thought I was dead. then I realized he was only fifteen when the invasion struck. How could he have accepted it. "Mikey I missed you." I said letting his memories rush back to me. Skateboards and pizza, zombie apocalypse III. It was all back, I remembered for the first time everything that Mikey was related to. I remembered.

"Our family is being put back together." Don said with his hands around April.

"There are some things you can't put back together Don." she whispered back. She was talking about Leo.

* * *

After a spaghetti dinner we all settled around in the living room. Don went to go help Casey put the bike in the barn and I was left with the toddlers and April while Mikey cleaned up the kitchen.

"Alex...you alright?" She said holding her daughter in her arms. I still didn't know the other one's name.

"How did you know I was alive." I said in almost a whisper I was surprised she heard me.

"I have gifts, just like you. Where your's are physical, mine are mental." She looked into the burning fire. Ignoring the two little turtles crawling all over her. The second toddler Mikey had been chasing had no markings unlike the other one and in fact looked more like a little boy.

When I was silent she continued. "After the invasion I reached out to you telepathically. I could feel your presence, I knew you were alive. I tried sending messages to you, I don't know if they ever went through though."

"How come you didn't ell anyone else? Why didn't Don or Mike know?"

She just sighed. "It was hard enough coming here after the invasion and seeing everyone so beaten down. They thought you were dead, but I knew better. You're a miracle you know that right? A walking miracle... I couldn't say anything because I was afraid at any moment I wouldn't feel you there anymore, our connection would be severed. I didn't want to give out false hope." She looked at me with sad eyes.

"I've seen your dreams, I know you made the choice to come here. I'd been putting images of Casey and I in your head for a while now. I didn't think you'd take so long to act on it. When I saw you had met Casey I gave you the dream of the brothers to open you up more to reality."

"You made me have those dreams?" I looked at her quizzically.

"Yeah, I made the boys human so you'd become more familiar with them I didn't know how you'd react to mutants after your amnesia. I tried to make them match up with your memories, but you didn't get it until just last night. You remembered Leo first, you recognized him as a human. What I should tell you is that I didn't place Leo in you dreams, that was all you. I was going to place Don or Mike but you chose Leo for some reason."

"He was in a cage, he looked close to death." I said in a hushed voice.

"I saw..."

"Do you know where he is?" I asked.

"No.., I wish I did though. I can feel him in the back of my mind. He's surviving but just barley."

Before I could say anything else Mikey entered the room with a movie in hand. "I think it's time we had another movie night!" He yelled jumping over the couch landing next to April. The toddlers laughed and jumped on him.

"Uncle Mikey you the best!" The boy shrilled.

"I think you two have had enough fun today. Time for bed!." April chimed scooping up the young boy in her arms.

"Awwhhh Mommy!" They yelled in unison.

"Only if Alex tucks me in!" Wren yelled.

"Alex?" April asked looking at me with weary eyes.

"I'd be happy to." I scooped up the tiny tot in my arms and followed April up the stairs. After I tucked her in and turned out the lights April pulled me out into the hall.

"I can't believe you have kids. I really missed a lot." I said with a smirk

"Yeah it was NOT planned, trust me." She said shaking her head. We laughed and things got quiet again. "I think I should tell you a little bit of what happened Al, you're missing out on a lot still, I can tell."

"April?"

"yeah?"

"I missed you so much." I said as we met for a hug. As tears ran down her face I couldn't hold mine back any longer either.

"I missed you too, Alex...I just wish the rest of us were here to see this."

The only thing is none of us knew where the "rest of us" were. Tomorrow I would find out more about my past and get the answers I had been asking myself every night for two years.

* * *

_**So I realize I made a mistake, Alex is 18, April is 18, Casey is 19, Donnie is 18, Mikey is 17, Leo and Karai and 20, Raph is 19 but we haven't gotten to him yet. ;) Sorry if the mix-up left anyone confused I apologize. I hope to see a lot of reviews on this one. Maybe even a little hate, (Please no) The kids were an idea I pulled right out of nowhere and liked so there they are, hope all you Apritello fans are squealing in your seats and happy. (: **_

_**Until next chapter, hope you enjoyed. ;)**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six.

I sat next to April on an identical rocking chair as the sun peered just above the tree tops. It was a beautiful morning, the birds were singing, and the breeze was warm. I relished it, finally fresh air, not polluted like the city. It felt like I was back in North Dakota with my Uncle living in our small house. I pictured him sitting next to me in a rocking chair just smiling, I lost myself in his gaze.

"You alright?" April said dragging me out of my trance.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

No one else was up but April and I, and Wren if you want to count being half passed out in her mothers arms. April looked like a mother, for being only eighteen. She always had that comforting motherly feel to her, and now she actually played the part. The bags under her eyes from sleepless nights proved it.

We sat in silence for a little while more, just listening to the breeze on the tall grass.

"What's your other child's name?" I asked, remembering the tiny boy I had seen yesterday in Mikey's arms.

"That would be little Oliver. "

I remembered the little boy I had seen yesterday, so full of life. "They're adorable by the way, how'd you teach them to walk and talk so fast for only being two?"

She just smiled at me and sighed. "We didn't teach them that. They did it on their own."

"How? They're so young!" How could they form sentences so correctly and fluently? Shouldn't they be babbling on about nonsense? For being two years old they looked like they had already grown so much, but then again they were mutants, I wasn't really sure what they were capable of doing.

"When I was pregnant for them Don wanted to make sure everything was going okay so he did some blood tests, you know..who knows what could happen when you're carrying around two human/mutant babies in your stomach." She shook off a laugh. "The blood test showed that they were growing at an irregular pace, instead of a regular nine month period they were out by the second trimester. And when they were born...well that's a whole other story." She patted her daughters head gently.

"I have time." I said leaning back in the rocking chair, letting the pull of gravity lull me back and forth.

"Well, you see, one morning I woke up and everything in my room was floating, I thought it was a dream at first but the longer I sat on the edge of my bed I realized it wasn't. I thought it was me doing it at first, so I woke Don up and he was just as surprised, he said I couldn't possibly be doing it. When I checked on Wren she was smiling up at me, I went to go pick her up everything fell, and I realized it was her, she did it."

"Mommy are you talking about me?" Wren said stirring in April's arms.

"Yes sweetie, I was just telling Alex how special you are."

"Mommy!" The child said laughing sitting up on her lap. I couldn't help but smile at just how happy Wren seemed to be all the time.

"So anyway, Don ran some tests and it looks like she inherited some natural gifts from me, I have yet to discover what else she's capable of, but Don is sure there's more. Did she already show you what else she can do?" April gave me a smirk.

"No?" I said looking confused.

"Wren, go show Alex what you can do."

Wren gave her mom a huge smile and crawled off her lap running over to me. She reached her hands up for me to pick her up, and I in turn sat her down on mine.

"Ready?" She whispered.

I gave April a nervous look and she just nodded her head.

Suddenly the tiny turtles hands were pressed on either side of my cheeks and my eyes flew shut.

_I was transported to the city, well the underbelly of the city. I was sitting on a couch in the middle of what looked like a make-shift living room. "Wren!" A tiny child flew passed me trailed by a much larger version of herself. It was Donnie and he scooped her up from under her feet and crashed on the couch with her in his arms. I felt the couch shift underneath me as it compensated for the new weight._

_The little child just stuck out it's tongue and laughed._

_"I'm serious Wren. I told you to stay away from that room, Uncle Leo's in there and he doesn't want company right now." He said scolding the small girl. He was about the set the child down as a flash of paper caught his eye. "What's that Wren?"_

_Wren shyly unfolded the paper to show him, it was a photograph. "Who is this girl daddy?" She said pointing to the long haired brunette standing in the middle of Leonardo and Mike. It was an old picture, you could tell by the wear on the outsides._

_"That's Alex, she used to be part of our family." He said in a pained voice examining the picture. "Where did you get this from.?"_

_"Uncle Leo was crying, holding it so I took it so he wouldn't cry no more." She said smiling looking proud of herself for, in her mind, doing the right thing._

_Donnie just stared at her knowing what was going to have to happen next. Don raised himself off the couch and started back towards the room the little girl ran from. "Uncle Leo is going to be very upset you took this from him, stay in your room and don't come out until I get you okay?"_

_"Okay daddy." She said hanging her head in shame._

_I followed the girl to her room, it was very dark on the inside, but of course it was the sewers. There was a small bed in the corner and it looked like she was sharing it with someone, possibly another child. I sat down on the edge of the bed with Wren and she tried to understand what she had done wrong._

* * *

_"Wren, honey, what's wrong?" A voice came from the doorway. It was April, with another child in her arms._

_"Mommy who is Alex?"_

_A pained, torn look came across April's face and I could tell she was trying to figure out what to say._

_"Honey, Alex used to be part of our family." She sat down next to Wren with the second child passed out in her arms. "She had to leave to go fight off the bad guys that's why she's not here right now."_

_"Why does Uncle Leo cry over her?"_

_April looked like she was exhausted from today and was just about to answer when the child in her arms started to stir. "Mama." It said lacing it's arms around her neck. The next thing that came out of it's mouth was just blabbering. Wren must've developed much faster than her brother if she was having conversations while the other one was just starting to speak. It was clear there was something special about her._

_April got up ignoring her daughters question as best as possible and laid the other child down in the bed and it instantly curled up to fall asleep. "You should be going to bed too." She said giving her a quick peck on the forehead. Before the child could speak a loud bang could be heard from downstairs._

_As if knowing what was happening April started for the door turning back to tell Wren to stay and don't come out until she comes back._

_Wren just grunted and the raised voices and commotion from the lower levels of the sewer kept getting louder. The curiosity looked like it was wearing on the tiny girl as she fidgeted around in her bed. I wanted to go see what the yelling was all about but I couldn't stray far from the girl. She was almost holding me there. I could only see whatever she was in eyesight of._

_Without warning Wren grumbled and slid off the bed walking over to the door, she had obviously had it with the commotion. I followed her out onto the balcony where saw the scene play out. Don was on the ground getting back to his feet and the couch had been flipped. Mikey was standing in front of April protectively as if guarding her from something. Then I saw him, Leonardo. He was standing in the middle of the living room panting hard. He looked unstable, like he could lash out at any given moment without warning._

_"Leo C'mon, relax."_

_Casey had walked into my line of sight and had his hockey stick in his hands ready for an assault._

_Leo turned quickly to him, glaring at him yet said nothing. "It's just a picture." He said quietly._

_"It's not JUST a picture!" Leo roared. "That little brat stole it!"_

_"And I came to return it." Don said back on his feet. looked down at Wren but she seemed unaffected, this must've happened a lot for her to be so indifferent. "She did not have bad intentions."_

_"I thought I told you to keep her out of my room." Leo said pointing a katana at April. She didn't even flinch. Mikey stood up taller in front of her._

_"Leo...Rela-" I watched as Leo shoved Casey to the ground. Don saw this as a chance and he jumped onto Leo's back holding his bo-staff to his neck. This didn't hold for long and Mikey could see they needed back up so he ran over to help, only to find Don on the ground once more and Leo panting even harder. The wooden bo-staff sat broken in half on the concrete. "Bro.." Mikey said quietly, as a blade leveled in front of him. Casey and Don both attacked from the back but Leo was quicker, it was about to turn bloody I could see the blood thirst in Leo's eyes as he started to swing his blade towards his oncoming family._

_Even quicker than all three was April, she appeared in the line of fire just as the end of a katana sliced across her cheek, drawing blood. "Mommy!" Wren screamed barreling down the stairs. I quickly followed._

_"If you think for one minute I'm going to stay here and watch you try to tear apart this family, you're wrong." April said in almost a whisper to Leonardo who still looked ready to kill. "You're a coward Leonardo, and I'm not raising my children under the same roof as a broken man...or should I even call you a man, you're nothing anymore, what happened to you." She said holding back tears grasping her cheek._

_Wren ran over to Don and latched her arms around his legs, staring down her mom. "We're leaving Leo, and you're not coming with us."_

_"LEAVE THEN!" Leo bellowed waving his katana. "Just leave!"_

_Minutes later I followed a rushed April up the stairs with Wren in her arms. "Mommy where are we going?"_

_"You remember the farmhouse?" She said trying to sound as happy as possible for her daughter, but her voice was under a lot of strain._

_"Where we went when grandpa was sick?"_

_A flash of sadness washes over April's eyes but too quick for her daughter to notice. "Yes honey. Pack as much as you can and we'll leave as soon as possible."_

_"Kay Mommy."_

_Casey came into view with a bloodied arm that had already been half bandaged. "You're welcome to come with us you know." April said to him._

_"I have an apartment in the city, I think I'm better off here." He said with a forced smile. "Mike sad he's going to go with you though. He just went out to try and find the other one, to let him know but I think he's long gone by now." He said rubbing his hands together. April just gave him a nod._

_"If I don't see you before we leave, goodbye Casey. If you change your mind you know the way." She said giving him a hug with her one empty arm._

_"I remember. Goodbye, April. Bye Wren."_

* * *

I was back on the porch of the farmhouse staring into the reddish brown eyes of the turtle tot.

"Amazing right?" April said smirking at me.

"What just happened" I said blinking my eyes a few time. "Did you do that?" I asked the little girl who was still sitting in my lap.

She just nodded her head with a huge smile. "Again?" She asked laughing like the tiny child she was.

"Hold on...what exactly was that?" I said turning to April still in awe.

"She showed you her memories. It's surprised me the first time too, that's why I put the thought in your head to find me, if she shows you her memories things might be easier to understand, and more of your questions can be answered. The only problem is you can only see her memories, not yours which would be much more helpful on your part." She sighed.

"What memory did she show you?" April asked.

"It was of Leo, when you decided to leave...I didn't know he was that bad."

She stared off into the distance. "So many things have changed Alex, it's hard to even remember what life was like before this mess happened."

"April?"

"Yeah?"

"Who was Wren's grandpa?"

"You don't remember..." Another sigh and then a forced smile. "Let's take a walk."

* * *

The woods were so peaceful and quiet, there was no one around for miles. April, Wren and I walked in silence for a few minutes before we came upon a small pond. I could hear the croaks of bullfrogs and the occasionally chirp of a near-by bird. It was relaxing and in that moment I swore I could've stood there forever. My train of thought was broken by a large rock placed near the outskirts of the pond on the other side of it.

I felt a tiny hand wrap around my finger and Wren gave me a sad look. "This way." She said guiding me to the rock while April trailed behind us.

I felt the world becoming quieter with every step I took in the direction of the large rock, it seemed to be giving off some type of energy that just went right through you, it made you relax and slow down for a moment. "What is this?" I asked.

Before I could get an answer Wren bent down on the dirt before the rock and placed her small hands on the cold smooth surface. I wondered what she was doing, until I realized under her hands were words.

"Sensei, Father, Family.

Rest in peace Master Splinter, Hamato Yoshi"

Splinter, the name came rushing back to me, all these years I hadn't even thought about him, hadn't even bothered to try and remember. What was wrong with me. The one man who helped me out of the hell hole I was in, who pushed me to achieve, I was his student, and through training became his daughter. "No..." I said my breath hitching.

I bent down next to Wren and ran my hands along the words. Also carved in the rock were symbols I had seen before, were they in the dojo? I couldn't even remember now, I felt like I owed this man my life but I'm so pathetic I couldn't have even know his name. "When we came here after the invasion, he used to come to this spot everyday and meditate." I heard April say from behind me.

"He wouldn't be very happy with the way the family's turned out now." April said standing off at a distance. She must visit here often, there were fresh daisies on top of the rock. Her favorite flower.

I just nodded my head, then a thought came to mind. "Why don't we fix it then?"

She just smirked and shook her head. "Easier said than done, I can't get through to the other's minds, I can't see them let alone know if they're alive."

"We can get the family back together!" I said standing up.

"What if they don't want to be found." She said narrowing in her eyes. I could sense something was built up inside her against those left behind.

"We could at least try." I said pleading with her now.

"One of them left the family on his own accords, one of them was left behind by the family. I'm sure both of them resent us now."

I stood there confused 'the others', 'they'? "Who left? I thought it was only Leo."

A wicked smirk appeared across her face and I was terrified for a split second. "So it seems the ones we hold dearest to our hearts are the last shards of the mirror we don't dare put back together? Eh?"

The dream, the last shard of the mirror? It was the boy on the roof who threatened to end my life, who wished only death upon me for the doing of his own darkness. A blood red color washed over my eyelids as my mind drew to a very dark corner of my memory.

Raphael.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter is so short, I hope that answered some of your questions thought! Reviews are welcomed and appreciated (:**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven.

* * *

It's been five days and all I can see is red. Blood red.

How had I put off the thought of him for so long? How had he managed to linger in the back of my mind for two years, only doing more damage by the minute. He was arrogant, snarky, and an all around asshole, before it had just been a personality flaw. His anger was only generated towards picking on his brothers, and making snide remarks, but April told me she sensed it was more than just that now. She felt as if he had taken a turn for the worse. He was no longer the loveable hot head we all knew, no longer...family.

Unlike Leo, April told me he still had his sanity, he was still "all there" but when she tried to get through to his mind, or see into his dreams, she turned back she couldn't do it because his aura was too dark. That's why in my dream he was the only one who didn't want me back in his life, he was the one willing to get rid of me for good. Had it caused his that much pain when he watched me "die" the night of the invasion? Had he let his mind venture into hatred towards me? At this point I was more afraid of finding Raphael, than I was Leonardo.

It had been five days since I found myself at the farmhouse with Casey, five days of finding out what my past was made up of, and what had happened to my family. I now knew Leonardo, the one who helped me through all my rough patches and pain, had lost himself in the madness of the city, he was no longer the controlled, kind, caring Leo I knew before. April had told me Raphael had left the family the first chance he got when they came back to the city after the invasion, he was isolating himself, becoming more aggressive, one day they woke up and he was gone. Mike told me that he'd see him on occasion, Raph was roaming the city, and Mikey was the only one left who would run nightly patrols, on occasion he'd try to convince him to come back but Raphael was turning into a monster, he said he would never come back...

The only one who could talk some sense into either of them was Master Splinter, but he was gone. Overtaken by pneumonia and weak lungs. April said he had told her once that he knew I was alive, he told her to find me after he had passed and tell me everything, he said I was the only other one to open their eyes. How could I live up to that? How could he know I would be able to find them and fix them? It was going to prove to be a long and tiresome journey and the heat of early June was not helping the case.

I sat in the one window bedroom and looked up at the pale ceiling. What was this going to come to? How was I ever going to find these two...and what's preventing it from becoming a bloodbath once they figure out I'm alive. Would Leo hurt me? Would Raph really be so unforgiving to make my death permanent?

April told me all her memories of me from the moment she met me to the times in the lair. She told me how when I first became accustomed to life below the city, I had hated Raphael. She said she thought I would go for Leo because he was always around, hovering over me, making sure I was alright. She said Leonardo had loved me, but I only remembered him as a friend and nothing more, maybe because I never returned those feelings. When Raph started to come around, things changed. We no longer fought, we no longer glared each other down from across the dinner table. Passing glances turned to flushed cheeks and eventually feelings were exposed.

April said when they came to the farmhouse during the invasion, Raphael was destroyed. He would isolate himself, and hardly talk to anyone. It was hard to try and imagine a broken Raph, he was so full of fire, fire so unobtainable and burning hot. What had happened to him in the time frame of two years. Did the fire go out? Or instead of passion, was it now fueled by hatred...

I wanted to search for him, maybe he was still in the city, at least that's where April felt him. He would prove to be the hardest to have his mind changed about the family, about me even. Bringing Leo back was starting to look like a piece of cake.

It was half past ten at night and my mind was beginning to wander. I was glad to see my old family again, but part of me was starting to wonder if I even fit in with them anymore. I was so accustomed to the clan life, and I had made a new family there, could I just up and leave them to come back to this life? I had been with the foot for two years, a lot longer than I was with the turtles and April. Could things ever go back to normal now with my two separate lives beginning to clash...

In the back of my mind I also began to think more and more about my parents death, I needed to find out more about project 87 and what it's sole purpose was, I needed to know why I was created, and why I was hunted. One problem though, all my answers were in Italy. Where I was born. My eyes began to fall shut as the night drew on, asking more and more questions as the darkness overtook my room.

I was transported to a lonely hillside that overlooked a large barren felid. It was a sunny day out but the clouds were casting shadows out across the field as they tugged along the sky, moving slowly. I breathed in the fresh air and tried to listen for the soft chirps of bird, maybe even the gentle winds on the tall grass, but there was nothing. Only silence.

"Alex." A voice came from behind me.

I turned to face the blue clad turtle, his scars were gone and his complexion looked new, as if he had never seen harm or pain a day in his life.

"Leo?"

He just nodded and leaned against a tall oak tree that sheltered him from the sun. "We need to talk."

His voice came off as casual, but his look was serious. "About what?" I asked standing alone in the sunshine, I didn't trust this Leo, he looked ominous, yet not as hostile as he had seemed in the cage in his past visit.

"They're keeping secrets Alex."

"Who?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smirked. "Who do you think?"

"What are you talking about?"

_April and Donnie._

His lips didn't move but I heard his voice loud and clear. I stumbled back a few steps and dared to look at him, he had another smirk on his face. "H-how'd you do that?" I said keeping my distance.

He just laughed. "It's all in here Alex." He said pointing to his head.

_You have other gifts Alex, Donnie knows. _

"What?" I said trying to comprehend why he was choosing to talk to me both through my mind and face to face. "How would Don know that?"

He gave me a stern look. "Take a walk with me." his voice echoed again in my head...

_Be careful what you say out loud, April can see into your mind remember? I can't feel her presence right now but I don't need her hearing anything she shouldn't. Try speaking through your mind. _

As we walked through the barren field I willed my inner voice to connect through to Leo, and it felt like it was working.

_How does Donnie know I have other gifts? _

_He's had samples of your blood for a while. He's been running more and more tests on them trying to figure you out. He was trying to see how your powers developed and how they became part of your DNA, he tried with April's but hers wouldn't regenerate._

_What does April's blood have to do with mine. _

_Aprils blood can't pass on her gifts she possesses only her telekinesis and eventually Wren can develop telepathy if she wills it, but your blood carried everything about you in it. _

_But Wren showed me a different gift?_

_A gift which did not come from April's blood._

_What are you saying?_

_Why do you think April keeps you away form Oliver. _He said giving me a side glance as we walked through the never ending field. The grass had become higher here and I ran my hands along the tall weeds.

_Maybe he's shy!_

_Or maybe it's because he has your gifts, exposing him would mean exposing secrets and April doesn't want that. April was willing to show you Wren's gifts because she knew you didn't know you had other powers. Wren's gift with memories is actually yours. _

_But then why would April bring me to the farmhouse? _

_Part of her still is family to you, but there are far too many things you still do not know about what happened. Be careful around her._

_Where can I find you?_

_Here _, he said pointing a green finger at my forehead.

_I mean physically... _

_I advise you find my brother first. Then I'll tell you how to find me. This is just my soul speaking to you, my body in it's state right now does not know you are alive. Even before you find Raphael, I suggest getting to know the people around you a little better first, starting with the little ones, they hold many secrets._

_Why Wren and Oliver? _I asked turning my head to look at him, my mind was running with thousands of questions, the mot prominent one was what exactly was April hiding.

_Well Alex, their veins are running with your blood. _

My eyes filled with darkness as I floated back into my dreams.

* * *

Once again I was awoken by a bright ray of light on my face and a tiny tot crawled up on top on me. I opened my eyes to find Wren, auburn eyes glowing, her smile illuminating my morning. "Morning Wren." I said rubbing my eyes.

"Morning Aunt Alex, Uncle Mikey made us pancakes!"

"I can smell them." I said trying my best to sit up with the tiny turtle trying her best to snuggle up to me. I don't know why but she had taken a liking to me since I got here and I couldn't seem to shake her off. I could tell April was starting to notice too.

Suddenly Leo's words came back to me. My blood ran in her veins? She had my gifts, which meant what she had showed me with her memories, I could do too. Only one way to find out if Leo had really visited me in my dreams last night.

"Wren? Can I try something really quick?"

"Sure!" She squealed straddling my lap. "I'm gonna try to show you my memories, but you can't tell your mommy...okay?

"Okay!" She squealed again clapping her hands.

I pressed my hands gently to her cheeks and I watched her eyelids slide shut. Without doing so, mine shut also exposing me to darkness.

_He walked out from the darkness. "Fancy meeting you here." He grinned. "Shouldn't you be down in the dance with April and Casey?" he asked, noticing I came alone._

_"They ditched me as soon as the slow songs started playing." I said. "I don't dance anyway, just not my thing, ya know?" I said leaning against a heater._

_"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of high school dances either." he said jokingly, I laughed getting his attention. I could feel him looking at me but I just looked at the moon. It was so much bigger out here than when I saw it inside, and it was even more stunning._

_"Do you ever feel like you're heart is telling you one thing but your mind is telling you another?" I asked him out of pure curiosity, still starting at the moon._

_"All the time." he answered quietly. I looked over at him. He was looking down at his sias, fiddling around with them._

_"It's like I'm constantly fighting a battle with myself, My heart wants one thing, almost longs for it...but my head says no, don't do this, don't do that."_

_"Splinter always taught me when I was younger to follow your heart, because it's almost always what you really want deep down."_

_"Yeah but do you ever let your heart take the lead? I mean, I just don't trust myself enough I guess."_

_We were both looking out over the city now. It was lit up with street lamps and headlights, and the music from the dance drowned out the noise from the city._

_"Maybe you just need to take a leap of faith." Raph said._

When I opened my eyes back up Wren's were still closed. I had deffinetly just seen a memory, one I hadn't remembered until now, but the question was, did Wren see it?

When the toddlers eyes opened they were wide, and I knew she had seen it too.

"Alex?'' She looked at me with sad eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Did you love Uncle Raph?"

I was shocked at her question but I knew it was one I had been asking myself these past few days. "Yeah, I guess I did." I said sadly stroking her soft tiny cheek. "Promise you wont tell your mommy or daddy or anyone what you just saw?"

"Cross my heart." She said giggling. "Can we have pancakes now!?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go." I said scooping her up in my arms, but all I could think about was Raphael. We were kids then, was it really love?

Downstairs running around was Oliver, playing with what looked like a toy jet. Behind him was Donnie threatening to catch him. Oliver seemed to be a little trouble maker, but I wouldn't know, maybe it was true what Leo had said. Maybe April was keeping him away from me. I needed to get closer to him, but how? Wren loved to be around me, so why was this child keeping his distance.

"Grub's in here!" Mikey yelled from the kitchen. When I walked in I sat Wren down in her chair and grabbed a few pancakes for us.

Time to do some digging. "Hey Mike, you know how Wren can do all these cool things?"

"Yeah, she's one awesome little dudette!" He said flipping a pancake perfectly in the air.

I gave a little smile to Wren. She just laughed as she stuffed the fluffy pancakes in her mouth.

"What can Oliver do?" I asked casually.

"Dunno! I saw him move around some water with his hands this one time tho, it was preeeeeety cool Al."

That was all the clarification I needed, Leo was telling the truth. It didn't even seem to phase Mikey that he just spilled a secret, although April had probably never thought to tell him, or she kept Oliver away from him too.

When I finished my pancakes I searched the halls and living room for Oliver, I wanted to see if I could get him to use his gifts. When I looked out the window I saw a quick flash of green and purple. Oliver had continued the chase outside.

I was going to have to do this in front of Don. As guarded as Donatello was, I knew he wouldn't really be able to react in the situation I was going to put him in, I was just hoping April wouldn't show up. Mike said she was out training in the woods with Casey.

I stepped outside to warm June air, as I stopped on the porch I sensed someone had been behind me. Of course, my little shadow. "Wren?"

"Yeah?" She said looking at me curiously.

"What makes Oliver so special like you? What can he do?"

She gave me a wary look. "Mommy says I shouldn't tell people."

"What if I ask him myself?" I said bending down to her level, she just shrugged her shoulders. I just nodded, this could work.

"Oliver!" I yelled from the porch walking down into the grass. He stopped running as Don slowed to a halt behind him. He looked at me with curious eyes tilting his head. Was he scared of me?

"What's up Alex?" Don said trying to take my attention away from his son.

"I just wanted to ask Ol a question." I looked at Don, he looked wary but nodded and let me approach him.

As I bent down to be eye level with the small boy, I couldn't help but notice his eyes her hazel like mine. As our eyes locked I could see he was curious about me, and a little scared at the same time.

"Hey." I said in an almost whisper.

"Hi" He said looking back to his dad for safety. Don placed his hands on the tot's shoulders.

I looked up at Don one more time, thinking in my head how much he had changed. We used to be good friends. I'd help him on his projects, and he'd set aside special time to help me train. He even saved my life a few times. Now he was using my blood to create super mutants. Betraying me by doing the one thing the people that killed my family did when I was created.

Leo's voice echoed in the back of my mind, I could feel his presence. _Show him _

"Wanna see something cool?" I asked the two year old. Ten out of ten times they always wanted to see something cool.

His face lit up and I took that as a yes. "Alex, what are you doing?" Don said tightening his grip on his son as I stepped away into the taller section of grass.

"Watch and see." I said smirking as wind started to twirl around me. Don was confused at first but when he realized what I was up to he tried to hurry Oliver into the house. I twisted my fingers towards him and roots shot up form the ground trapping his legs where he stood. He could only hope his son could continue into the house.

But Oliver didn't move. He watched me as Don yelled at him to get inside. I started to twirl around making the wind spin with me, it flattened out the grass around me and a small cyclone formed, dancing and spinning around in the grass. I dispersed it with a flick of my wrist and turned back to Oliver. It was a small portion of what I could do but I hoped it connected in his mind.

His hazel eyes were bright and he stood there in awe. Don was trying to escape the grasp of the roots as he realized his son was walking over to me. "Alex! Get me out!" His temper was starting to flare and I just played it off as a joke by giggling, but in the back of my mind I was watching his struggle and enjoying it. I had been around Karai too long to show mercy now.

When Oliver walked all the way over to me I bent down to meet his eye level once more. He held out his palm to me and I watched as a tiny ball of water formed there. I smiled at him as it rotated in his hands. I assumed from the look on his face this was all he could muster up for now. I giggled and scooped up the ball of water in my palms as it kept rotating. "Watch this." said with a smirk.

I threw the ball up into the air, we both watched as the ball of water floated in mid air for a moment before it turned to snow an slowly started falling down around us. The toddlers eyes grew even larger than before as he reached out to grab a snowflake. I forgot Wren was there until I hear her signature giggled again and she was under the snowfall with us jumping around.

"H-how did you know..." Don said in almost a whisper.

I glared at him. "Why did you do this to them Don."

"What d-do you mean?" He said finally prying himself of the root with a dull dagger he had on him.

"We need to talk." I said walking past him to the barn, I knew he would follow.

When we reached the barn I shut the door and quickly pinned him up against the side wall making the various tools cling together. I got real close to him and gritted my teeth as I spoke softly.

"Why does my blood run through your children's veins..."

He was silent, and he managed to wrap his leg around mine and push me back. A searing pain ran up along the side of my leg and I let out a grunt. As I tried to get up the blunt end of a bo-staff came down hard on my chest.

"I don't mean to hurt you Alex, you're like family to me."

I glared up at him, his eyes were sad and he looked like the past two years had not been the easiest on him.

"Why Don, why do they have my gifts? Why did you do this to them.? Why have you been keeping secrets..." I said still on the ground ignoring the pain in my leg.

He just sighed and sat down on a near-by crate, he knew I wouldn't attack again, he hurt my leg on purpose. "These past few years have been long, and we hardly survived out here, let alone in the city."

"Get to the point." I said sitting up, leaning against a bale of hay.

"When April told me she was pregnant, I knew the children wouldn't survive if they were normal, no training, no form of protection if they got lost." He rubbed his eyes with his green finger. "One day I went back to the old lair to cleanout what I could of my old research, in the mess I found old test tubes full of your blood...I did some testing with the and found out your blood carried all your genes in your DNA, even your gifts. I thought to myself that your blood could protect my kids, if they'd have powers like you."

I sat silent waiting for the full story.

Another sigh as he placed his chin in the palm of his hand. "Before they could be born I injected some of your blood into April's bloodstream. The two sets of DNA fused and yours and April's genes were passed on to the children in the womb. That's the reason why they age so quickly, they were both born only a week into the second trimester. You're blood somehow sped up the maturing process."

"You're making it sound like your intentions were good, so why did you forget to remember my blood is being tracked? Do you remember where I got this scar from? Anzo, and he's still out there, if he finds them he'll kill them. Project 87 was no joke Don, but you just put your entire family in danger."

"I know okay! I did it so they would be able to protect themselves when the time came, April and I, we wont be around forever, we're lucky enough no one has found us out here."

I looked at Don, his hands were callused and stained with grease, he was still the inventor I once knew, but long nights caring for two toddlers looked like it had already taken a toll on him. He was down, and gloomy. I was so used to him spitting out facts about science and watching his face light up as electrical fuses moved a robotic arm, or as steam rolled off of a test tube. Now he was just dull, at age eighteen he was no longer a free range teenager, he had kids, lives to protect and mouths to feed. He had lost himself in the beautiful mess of life...

I guess the trials we faced forced us to grow up much to fast. I longed for summers on the beach with friends from school or a boyfriend to take me out on silly dates to the movies, but I was far from a life of ease. I can't make stupid decisions, I can't run wild. I'm walking a tightrope right now, one false move and that's it. Everything's over.

"Oh Donnie." I said with a sigh, "What the hell happened to us."

He managed to stifle out a laugh...then grumbled shaking his head. "I've been asking myself that for the past two years..."

Just then an idea came to mind. "Don, can I show you something?"

"I guess so." He said plopping down in front of me ungracefully.

"Does Wren ever show you her memories?"

"Almost everyday..." He said pushing a smile.

"I can do that too."

"I-I know." He sighed. "I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out but we all thought you were dead, and April told me it was a secret and she said I couldn't tell anyone, and I'm really sorry but when you got here it went right over my head, I've been up all night working on inventions that ca-"

I shut him up as I placed the palms of my hands on his face. As his eyelids slid shut I was transported back in time with him.

_"Donnie! She's here!"_

_As soon as April spoke the turtle looked up and stood to his full height. Has much taller than the last two I had met and instead of blue eyes he had a deep reddish brown tint to his. When he looked at me he smiled showing that there was a gap in his teeth. Maybe from some sort of accident? I thought._

_"Hello April, and Alex." he said showing his smile again._

_"I've heard a lot about you, April told me over the phone. You can call me Donnie."_

_"Oh...Hi Donnie." I said showing a little red in my cheeks._

_"If you don't mind can I see what you did with the snow the other night? April said she's never seen anything like it before"_

_I nodded and reluctantly repeated the scene the other night at the hockey rink. Different shaped snowflakes began to fall around us. _

_"Amazing!" Don said staring at the snowflakes in awe tapping a pencil against his chin._

_"Alex you're truly gifted. If you don't mind I'd like to study your abilities a bit more. Maybe next time you come over?"_

_"Haha, Sure Donnie" I said gingerly._

_As I turned to leave he stopped me. "Where'd you get that?" he said pointing to my staff. When Mikey gave me back my staff from earlier I must not have turned it back invisible._

_"Oh this?" I took it out and stood it at it's full height. "My uncle gave it to me when I was younger, he trained me with this and my nodachi."_

_He looked confused when I mentioned my sword. I reached back revealing it at my touch and his eyes went wide._

_"Alex I have a staff too" he walked over to his desk and lifted a wooden stick from where it rested on the wall. It felt nice to find someone to relate to._

_"Oh my gosh Donnie, that's so cool!" I said as we stood our bow staffs side by side. His even had the retractable blade at the top._

_We talked for another ten minutes about our training techniques before he told me he had to get back to work._

_As I opened the door to leave he spoke up one last time._

_"Hey Alex?"_

_"Yeah Don?" I said turning around_

_"Maybe sometime, we can train together. It'd be great to train with someone who has the same weapon as me" he said trying not to sound to excited._

_"Sure, sounds like fun" I said as I smiled._

* * *

When I came back to reality Don's eyes were bright and for the first time he had a genuine smile on his face. "Alex..." He said in a whisper.

"That's the very first memory I have of you Don, this helps me remember too it kind of forces my past out." I said with a small smirk.

Within seconds I was in the arms of the big green turtle. "Thank you for that. I've been so bogged down with the farmhouse life I haven't taken the time to reminisce."

"I know how you feel...I've had amnesia the past two years, these memories feel like someone else's but I know they're mine...they just don't feel like it yet, I guess it's not clicking in my head... " I said with a chuckle.

We talked for another few minutes on where we had gone so wrong. The night of the invasion we should've just left an came to the farmhouse first. A bunch of teenagers versus an alien robot army...can you guess the ending?...not good. But then again I would've never ended up with the foot clan, I would've never met some of my best friends. I couldn't help but think of Talon. He nursed me back to health, even if he did have to replace the majority of my bones with metal, and deep down I felt like he was deeply connected to me.

He would probably cross a few oceans for me, and I would d the same for him. In two years he had become the Leo of my life. They were similar in every way. The only thing is, no one can replace Leonardo. He's out there and I have to find him.

There's only one thing stopping me.

Raphael.

* * *

**Hey guys, I know this chapter was a little longer but I actually tried to put a lot of stuff in here. If anyone get's confused with anything, you can PM me or leave your questions in the reviews, I'll get back to you. One other thing, it's kind of gets me down that the three same people have been reviewing my story this whole time minus a few. To my faithful reviewers, I love you guys! thank you so much for keeping up with the story, and keeping me going. I'd just love to see a few new faces, just leave anything. Suggestions, comments, questions... I take everything. A big thanks to all my followers, I hope this story has been turning out better than my last, I've gone back through and realized how dull Runaway was so I'm trying to put more into what I write. Please, please, please read and review. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed. (;**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight.

Two weeks later.

_"Alex, I can't lose you. Don't go with us , save yourself." For some reason he had it set in his mind there was a very large chance one of his brothers would not be making it out alive, if not all of them._

_"I know you'll come back to me Raph." I said seeing the worry in his eyes._

_He stroked my hair burying his face in my neck giving me little kisses that sent shivers down my spine. Then he brought his face back up to mine and looked me dead in the eye. His green eyes almost glowed in the dark of the room and I felt myself getting lost in them._

_"I know, I just need to know you'll come back to me."_

It's two a.m. and the fan in my room just stopped working. I can't fall asleep because all I can hear in my head is your voice telling me to stay in the lair, that it's too dangerous for me... Your voice telling me you never want to lose me, and those three little words with such big meaning rolling off your tongue as we spent our last few hours together. I try not to look around to much because all I see is you, but the darkness beneath my eyelids doesn't help either because you're there too. I can hear your brother's snores through these paper thin walls and I feel like we're back in the lair again camping out on the couches after a movie night. But when the sun comes up I wont be waking up to you. I won't see bright green eyes, or the asshole smirk on your face. All I'll be able to see is red.

* * *

Later that morning.

I sat on the porch as the sun sat nestled away in the tree tops, awaiting morning to come and dry up all the overnight dew. It had been almost a month since I found Casey and we left the city in search of April, and I felt washed out and over tired. With July almost on our heels I knew it was time we started our search for Raphael, but the fresh breeze and peacefulness of the farmhouse made me want to never return to the city. I knew as soon as I went back I wouldn't be able to return to April for a while, but as much as I dreaded it I knew the foot clan awaited my return.

My mind wandered to Talon, I missed him so much it almost hurt to think about him. I wondered what the foot had been up to, since I had no way of contacting them. I was worried, what if the treaty between the clan and the gang had been broken? Would I be returning to a burned down home? And what of the Night watcher? Had he relentlessly slaughtered any more purple dragons? I leaned back on the porch swing and took a deep breath. This was not going to be an easy journey.

With all these things swirling around my mind, the thought of Raphael was still there looming over me. What will I say to him when he is just inches away from me, close enough to touch. What will he do when I tell him I didn't die, that I was saved. Will he turn around and walk away, never looking back. Or will he wrap me in his arms and promise to never let go again. Or should my nightmares become the reality where he tries to end my life for good.

"Alex, you might want to see this." April called from the doorway.

Inside I saw the tv was on and everyone had gathered around it listening to whatever was being broadcasted through the tiny outdated screen.

April pulled me over to the couch and I sat on the arm rest next to Mikey who's eyes were glued to the news. When my eyes fell on the tv I saw masses of cars and busses all full of people, with the police trying to calm down the jammed traffickers.

"What's this all about?" I asked.

"It's the city, they're letting people back in..." Casey said in almost a whisper.

I leaned in further to try and absorb the situation, this was bad. "There are too many mutants, they'll kill everyone! Don't they know that?"

"Alex, no one has seen the city in a little over two years, they don't know about the mutants." Don said holding a sleeping Oliver in his arms.

"You should consider heading back soon before you get caught up in the traffic." April said resting her head in her hands. It looked like she had faced another long night caring for the two toddlers who seemed to have an endless supply of energy. Except for right now, both of then were limp in their parents arms, eyes closed lost in their dreams.

"I was planning on packing up this afternoon." The truth was I had already packed my bag the night before when I couldn't find it in me to close my eyes and face Raphael in my nightmares all over again. I packed up everything I had brought with me which was just my clan attire and my weapons. Everything else was canned goods and a few snacks April gave me for the ride. Casey would not be going with me, he wanted to stay with April and the guys after all. I would be taking this journey alone.

"Me and Don did some work on the bike, it should get you back to the city by nightfall." Casey said chewing at some sunflower seeds he found at the bottom of his duffel bag last week.

"Of course I had to make some modifications." Don said smiling. "That bike looked like it had been through the roughest parts of the city."

"I can only imagine." Casey said a little under his breath, to which Don raised an eyebrow.

"C'mon, you should be headed out soon anyway, I'll show you how to work it." Casey said excusing himself from the couch, not even looking back to see if I was following him.

As we reached the large red barn he pushed open the sliding doors with a grunt and stood in the frame for a few moments more until he decided to go in. I had only been in the barn once before, when Don had almost broken my leg. It had a musty smell to it and it looked as if the hay had been sitting there for at least a good century. In the corner was a makeshift lab I presumed Donnie had put up for himself, and in the opposite corner was an old farm truck alongside the bike I rode here on.

"So basically it's pretty simple to drive you just pu-"

"I know how to drive it Case." I said smirking.

"Well." He huffed. "That makes things easier."

"Talon taught me last year on one of the foot clans bikes."

He looked as me quizzically for a moment then his facial expression changed. "That sissy boy you've been hanging around with?"

"He's not a sissy boy" I said with a light laugh punching Casey in the arm. "He's like family."

"Yeah well Al, we're your family too." He said softly, his eyes serious.

* * *

It was nearing noon and I had everything ready to go, except myself. I wanted to live out the rest of this summer at the old farmhouse, I wanted to wake up every morning to the smell of pancakes and the noise of the kids playing downstairs. I wanted forever to train in the woods with April, and watch Mikey make diner, maybe even help Don with his gadgets. But reality was sinking in and I knew I was going to have to leave one way or another.

As I hugged everyone goodbye and wiped away the tears on my little Wren's face I couldn't help but wish the process of finding Raph and Leo would be quick so I could hurry back with them, but it would be a long journey rehabilitating them both back into family life. It would prove to be my hardest challenge yet.

I pushed the kickstand up and let the bike roar to life as I strapped both the gun and my staff over my shoulder and gave everyone one last wave goodbye as I took off down the old dirt road. I was going back to the city for good.

As the hours passed on dirt turned to pavement and I drove the bike onto one of the major routes to get back to the city. When Casey and I had taken this route to get to the farmhouse it was virtually empty, now it was filled with busses, cars, and trucks. Anything people could squeeze into just to get back to their "Homes." As the noise of car horns and yelling filled my ears I couldn't help but to reminisce on the city I once knew. There was never a moment of silence, even through the longest darkest nights.

I felt the need to stop these people, they couldn't possibly know what had become of the city and were heading straight for danger. Their homes had more than likely been looted, and anything worth saving had probably been destroyed if their apartments and houses weren't already new homes to mutants and stray animals. Some of them would be killed upon arrival by the uncontrollable mutants, maybe even by the gangs, and what were the police supposed to do? I've tried my hand at taking them down but their genetics are so superior to ours that they can heal themselves, becoming at most indestructible. Decapitation, or striking at the heart is the only way.

I needed to find Karai and warn her of all these people. We needed to get out of the hospital. I led my bike through the cramped vehicles and in reply received the finger multiple times, even a few car horns. That's one thing I didn't miss about the city, the people in it. Another hour went by of just getting through the tight spaces of the traffic until I was on the bridge. Ahead I saw the police had been stationed out before the immediate entrance to the city and they were only letting so many people in at a time. I needed to get through.

I rode up to the barricades and was halted by an officer. "Excuse me." I said "But why are they letting everyone back in?"

A question to which I only received a shrug. "License?" He asked.

"Um, no." I said, I had never even gotten my permit to drive. "But you need to let me in." I said trying to push the bike past him.

"No can do Miss." He said looking off into the distance chewing on his gum. I was lucky I had turned my gun and staff invisible before I got on route to the city or else he'd really have my neck right now.

As he was called off to the side by another officer I saw my chance. I slid my mask down into my face and gave the bike some gas, taking me past the makeshift barricade the police had set up. Behind me I heard a few shouts, and looked back to see that two cars had taken my lead and stormed the barricade too. I smirked to myself, that's the thing about these city folk, they're not afraid to test the boundaries, and besides what could the cops do? Chase us down? Not with miles upon miles of traffic to get through the gate.

As soon as I was in I knew right where I was going.

As I pulled up the he hospital and stored the bike in the adjacent alley-way I could already sense something was off. My steps slowed as I neared the sliding glass doors, and my heartbeat speedup as they didn't open for me like they used to. I leaned my forehead up to the glass, everything inside was dark, except for an eerie hall light that was flickering like a candle in the wind. It was as if it was never inhabited, never called a home. As I pounded on the glass expecting someone to hear my cries I came to an awful realization.

Everyone was gone.

But where would they go? Did they leave the city? Or had they heard about the re-opening of the city and fled to a warehouse or apartment complex knowing the dangers to the citizens would leave the hospital very busy. As I jogged back over to the bike and started the engine, a thought came to mind. I was once again alone in this huge city. The very thing I tried to escape when I had first came here. I would look for any patrolling clan solider tonight and If I couldn't find my clan, I'd have to start my search for Raphael in the morning.

I sped my way down route to the harbor. I could stash the bike there and take to the rooftops, working my way from the outside in hopefully finding the slightest trace of him somewhere in between. No one would go to the harbors so I would be safe there and I found that the mutants mostly stay centered in the city.

It was already nightfall by the time I had reached the city and now the empty darkness of the harbor was starting to make me itch. The only keeping my feeling of being alone at bay was the constant sound of waves calmly crashing up on shore. I pushed open the door to one of the many freight containers and rolled the bike inside carving an A on the side of the metal of the door to remember where it was. Then I was off.

I took to the roof tops in search of anything that could lead me back to my clan. I started off with the thought in my head that they wouldn't stray too far from the hospital, but as every warehouse skylight turned up nothing, I soon began to doubt my theory. I was out wandering around for so long that the sun began to peek up at me over the skyscrapers on the other side of the city. As I sat and watched it rise over the broken city the hues of oranges played about my eyes, dancing under the early morning heat. I had spent the majority of the night looking for any signs that the foot clan was still in the city, my restless hunt left me empty handed, with sore legs and a jumbled mind as to what would happen next. Maybe the purple dragons were still around, I would go there next if the mutants didn't kill me first. They had a habit of sticking around the clueless gang members, easy meal I guess.

* * *

As I hurdled roof tops with my remaining strength I couldn't help but let my mind wander to all the people I had seen coming in the gates to the city. There was no doubt they would see the blood and bones scattered along the side-walks. They would see the mutants, the destructions, the horrifying image of a once sleepless city fallen under the spell of a long dark slumber, never to full wake again. It was a mess here, and a mistake to come back. As I watched the sun rise higher and higher into the sky I felt as if my whole life I had been flying too close to the sun, and like Icarus in my old high-school mythology textbook, I would soon face my downfall. It was a morbid thought, but it was true. Cheating death was my specialty, but it would soon catch up to me.

I pushed my legs farther an farther over the grey buildings, never looking back, never looking down. I was reaching the point where my body was starting to give up on me and I knew I had to get some sleep or else I'd be stranded on the rooftops to fall victim to the merciless mutants. I was running on zero hours of sleep but my eyes stayed open and my heart beat drummed in my ribcage, my legs said otherwise. Maybe it was the notion of needing to find someone I knew, or maybe I was just running from what I didn't want to realize.

One, I was alone again in this huge city.

Two, I was in the city, and so was Raphael, and now I had to find him before he found me and possibly killed me.

Raphael had turned me into a monster inside of his head, even if he didn't know I was alive I believe that hate is still fueled, especially since he hasn't been around anyone to really keep him down to earth. He was alone, Leo was alone, and now I was alone. Maybe this is how we all fit together, being alone was our forte.

I found my way over to the fire escape and easily lowered myself down onto the rusty steps. I quickly pushed open a window and slid inside. Inside it looked as if the apartment had been untouched by the invasion, there was beautiful furniture and it looked like everything else had been shipped out with whoever had lived here before excluding a few books on the shelf, some stray magazines, an ashtray next to an open case of cigars, and a few throw blankets. As I inspected the apartment complex and all of it's rooms including the hallways and the floor below I came to the conclusion hat no one had been in here, it was just me. If I never did find Raph, or Leo, or even the clan I could sit out the rest of my days here. I laughed to myself as I went through the cabinets, _Maybe April and everyone could come visit me in my new penthouse. _My mind envisioned a life a few years down the road where Mikey would be cooking something delicious over the oven tops and Aril and Don playing with the kids in the living room. As I filled the room with these images my eyes wandered to the corner of the room, closest to the fire escape window. A lean dark shadow stood there, cigar in one hand the other arm crossed against his chest looking out over the noisy city. A douche-bag smirk played across his face as smoke blew out his nostrils from the exotic cigar.

"Ya know Al?" He says to me in a low voice that makes my heart skip a beat..."Let's get out of this place, I'm sick of livin here. Let's head out to the farmhouse for a while, You mind April?"

"Go ahead, you could live there for all I care, we'll stay here." April said winking at me. "Just don't come back with another set of these two" Don said trying to contain Oliver.

When I looked back over to the figure in the corner the smirk was gone. " I just need some time to think straight." He said taking another puff of the cigars.

I started to involuntarily walk over to the corner where I knew in reality nothing was there waiting for me. Through my eyes I looked up into the shadow's face, he was still staring out the window. "Let's go, we can leave any tie we want, run away with me." He said under his breath knowing I was standing right beside him. He looked down at me exposing me to those bright green eyes that followed my every move. I felt the blood rising to my cheeks as I stood under his gaze, he was terrifying but he could be gentle and I was lucky enough to have known that side of him.

"Please..." He said, the smell of the cigar rolling off of him right into my nose. I liked the smell, it reminded me of my Uncle, he too used to smoke and as I little girl I grew accustomed to the smell.

I knew in my mind he wasn't really here it was just my imagination, but in he back of my mind I wanted him here. I wanted everyone here so I wouldn't have to shake this trance and walk back into the realization the apartment was empty and I couldn't find the people I needed right now.

As April, Don and the kids faded away into the darkness of the apartment one figure stayed behind, fading slowly, green eyes piercing through me as I was once again alone. I slumped back against the wall f the corner and let my fingertips wander over the cool glass of the window imagining a view of bustling streets and jammed traffic. As My eyes drifted to the horizon of the rooftops something caught me eyes, it was a figure standing on a raised ledge of a rooftop in the distance. I wanted to pursue this figure, it could be a foot solider, but as my eyelids threatened to fall shut forever, I knew I had to get some sleep.

When I woke up the next morning on the white sofa it smelled as if someone had been smoking the cigars that had been left open of the coffee table in front of me, but maybe the smell had been absorbed into the couch cushions from past smokers who lived here, where I had my nose pressed all night. It smelled like our furniture in North Dakota, my Uncles favorite recliner reeked of those things but I grew to love it.

I sat up on the couch letting the blood rush through my veins as I stood. I hadn't gotten the best sleep in the world but I needed to get to the roofs, I had to start looking again. I sifted through the cabinets of the kitchen until I came across an unopened box of Ritz crackers and a few bags of lays. I broke open the first roll of crackers and slung my bo and gun over my shoulder. My hair had managed to stay in it's bun so I left it as I pulled myself out of the window onto the fire escape. The crackers were a little stale but I ate them, it was really my only source of food. Everything April had given me was in small portions, and me having no self control ate everything already.

As I climbed up onto the roof I looked around, the sun was already up and the air was getting warm, it must be a little before eleven. I finished off the crackers and headed off over the roof tops. I had to find something today, I couldn't go back to that apartment empty handed.

As the hours passed on I would stop occasionally to rest and look out over the city. Sometimes I could hear the distant noise of the cars driving around the streets and remembered there were people coming back to the city now. I wondered if anyone had come across the mutants yet...

Behind me I heard something shuffling around, at first I thought it was a mutant but as I turned I saw the figure I had watched last night on the rooftops. It wasn't a mutant from what I could tell, it looked like a man in patrol gear and he was really moving across the roof tops. I quickly got to my feet and took off on the rooftops across from him, he didn't see me so there was no need to go invisible and it looked like he was focused on something else, something important. I ran as fast as I could hurdling over gaps and railings but I couldn't keep up with him, I could only hope to follow his path until he stopped.

Ahead I could hear other noises, maybe that's what he was headed for. I crossed over to the side of the rooftops I had seen the figure on and continued to follow his trail, running as fast as I could. I wasn't paying attention to what part of the city I was in, but when I heard the rush of the ocean tides I knew we had reached the edge of the city. It was another harbor in a different part of the city, not the one where I had stashed my bike. I slowed down to a brisk walk as I looked for this man, I couldn't see him. Maybe he jumped down onto the pavement. As I reached the side of the roof I looked down, searching for the noises I had heard earlier and the man I had followed here.

Below me were the purple dragons emptying out a large shipping container. On a stacked container across from them was the man, perched in the shadows unseen by the gang, but I saw him, and when he looked up he saw me. I couldn't see through the mask of his helmet he had on but I could feel him looking right through me. I slid my hood up as he returned his watchful eye to the activity below, what was he up to...

Suddenly he jumped from his perch and landed right in the middle of the gang members and I watched as their expressions turned from confused to rage in a matter of figuring out who had disrupted them, it looked like they knew the man from past run-ins.

I watched as some of the purple dragons drew small daggers, even one with a pistol, while others took off through the maze of containers. The man took out two chain like weapons I knew I had seen somewhere before. Before I could really get a grip of what was going on and why the gang was even at the docks the fight began and I couldn't keep track as the man took down the dragons one hit at a time. It looked easy for him, as if the gang members were just fun to mess around with. I winced as the final purple dragon was brought down and backed into the shadows as the man looked back up at me as if saying I'm next.

I heard him climbing the containers to the roof where sat hidden in the shadows, I could go invisible but, I could also get information from him of the whereabouts of the foot clan.

"I know you're up here." I heard him say in a deep voice as he fiddled around with his weapons. "You can come out now, or try and run, either way I'm still faster and stronger, no escape now." He said in a cocky tone. I could feel the grin on his face, but I was a good fighter, he didn't know that.

"And what if I escape?" I said playing his game.

He chuckled. "Look, there's no way you're getting out of this now, so just come out and let's get through with this, you're on my turf we play by my rules."

I huffed and stepped out from behind the billboard. Up close the man looked stronger than before and terrifying, he was clothed in leather and metal and looked like something out of a movie. It was then when I realized who I had come face to face with.

"You're the nightwatcher." I said narrowing my eyes at him.

He mockingly took a bow. "So you've heard of my work."

"I've seen your work, you're noting but a monster." I spat at him.

He seemed to tense up at the word monster but kept a guarded stance. "Well, you're no saint either, princess of the foot. Where's your scum queen I'd like to put her six feet under."

"How do you know me?"

"Enough chit chat hun, let's see how good you really are. " He said charging me. I quickly rolled out of the way popping up behind him and unsheathing my bo.

"I don't want to fight you." I said circling him, ready for his attack.

"What a shame." He said whipping his chain at me. I tried to avoid it but it wrapped around my ankle and he pulled me down. I could feel every bump of the rooftop as he pulled me in closer to him. I tried to untangle myself but it just wouldn't work. I even tried to swing at him with my staff but he merely grabbed it and threw it to the side of the roof.

I watched as a far off noise caught his attention and I quickly wormed out of the chain and backed up to the opposite side of the roof.

"Look I really don't want to fight." I said dusting the dirt off from where I had bee ruthlessly dragged. "But I'm looking for some answers..."

"Oohh, twenty questions." He said clapping his hands together in an annoyed gesture. He looked a little worn out from his previous fight, but he'd never admit it.

"Who are you, take off that helmet."

"Take off your mask." He said

"Why?"

He only shrugged

"Only if you take off yours."

"Last girl who saw my face fell in love sweetheart, I don't think you wanna go there." His gaze was ice cold, but the look was familiar, I had seen it a few times before. On a roof as the ice cold snow fell, in a tunnel after a rejected apology.

"Where is she now?" I asked pushing my boundaries. He took a step back and crossed his arms, I could almost feel the spiteful glare coming through the lens of the helmet.

"Dead." He said as if choking on his words. "She's dead, and I'm glad she is."

"Why's that?" I said leaning back on the railing looking at him from across the rooftop. If he charged me now I was sure I could easily escape.

"Let me tell you something princess, to love is to destroy."

"Oh, I know."

"Do you now." He said with a sigh.

"In the past two years I've faced death countless times lost my family, found them again only to realize they're all split apart, now I'm out here trying to find the missing pieces of the puzzle but the one I need the most I'm sure I'll never find. Worst part about it is, we used to be in love and now I'm pretty sure when he see's me he's gonna wish I actually died the night he thought I did." I had no idea why I was telling my story to this stranger, but maybe this is just what I needed, someone to listen.

"Pshhh, I used to have a family too until one day I decided I had had enough and left. Best decision of my life, now I'm free to do whatever. No more taking orders."

"Yeah but doesn't it ever get lonely?"

"Eh, I entertain myself with the scum of the city, always had a thing for bashin skulls."

There it was again, maybe it was the words or the way he was standing but I had seen it all before.

"What's your name again?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you." I could feel the smirk from inside his helmet. In the distance over the water's horizon I could see the sun beginning to drop in the sky creating beautiful shades of red.

I sighed. "It's getting late I should go. Thank you again for sparing my life." I said sarcastically with a grin.

Before I could turn to leave I heard a low growl from behind me. I turned to see two cougar like mutants on the rooftops across from me, and before I could do anything I had realized my bo staff was still half a rooftop away and these things were getting ready to pounce. I quickly drew the gun from my back and my finger pulled down on the trigger, but my aim was ever that good to begin with so I missed by an inch where the bullet hole would've healed anyway.

As the first mutant landed I had already forgotten about the night watcher, he had probably ditched by now anyway. I struggled as my mind raced back and forth and razor sharp claws bore into my skin. I tried punching, kicking, nothing worked. I was losing blood quick, and the exhaustion from these past few days was choosing now to take it's toll on me. By the time I watched the second mutant land on the rooftop in front of me, my legs had buckled and my vision swayed. Before my body had a chance sweep me off into the darkness like it had so many other times, I felt the weight of the mutant lifted off of me, and two arms lock under me. The feeling of being weightless was the last thing that crossed my mind before I drifted off into the void between life and death.

* * *

I woke to the sensation of warmth all around me and my eyes slowly opened to what I knew would be a horrifying sight...or so I thought. I was in a large California king bed looking out onto the balcony of a skyscraper in the city. It was no doubt the city because you could smell the trademark toxins flowing in through the window. I was wrapped in blankets but for summer I was a bit cold, and as soon as I tried lifting myself out of the bed it felt like the claws from the mutants were boring in through my skin all over again. I slowly un raveled myself from the blankets to asses the damage. Three tiger strip-like gashes ran along my left arm sporting the blood red color I was so used to seeing on myself and in my dreams.

_Nothing I can't handle..._

As I scooted myself to the edge of the bed I realized my foot clan patrol garb was gone, replaced by an old flannel button down and a ripped pair of leggings. My hair was still pulled back into it's bun I had out it up in but now it looked more like and animal was living in it. I sighed looking in the long mirror across from the bed at my summer tanned face, my freckles had been magnified by the sun and my hair turned lighter from long days out on the roof tops.

In that moment I had been so caught up in my gaze to realize someone was knocking on the door to the strange bedroom I had found myself in. A question reappeared in my head, one I had asked myself one too many times. Where was I?

I carefully walked over to the door, It was big and the handle was made of ivory. As I turned the knob and pulled it open I found myself face to face with Talon. He looked worn out but the smile on his face told me he was happy to see me, but not in this condition.

"Morning sunshine." He said, quickly slipping in the room and shutting the door behind him.

I was still in shock as to who exactly I was expecting. From everything I've went through it definitely was not Talon. I smiled a huge smile and did my best to wrap my arms around his long torso, even if I had just been attacked by a mutant I couldn't be more grateful to wind up in the arms of my best friend. I felt his arms wrap around me as he sighed placing his chin on the top of my head.

"We need to talk Al."

I unhinged myself from him. "First of all where the hell did you guys go?! I came back to the city and I looked everywhere." I plopped down on the other side of the bed facing the open door to the balcony. I let out a deep breath as I felt my body sink into he mattress.

"That's the thing. We all split up, the purple dragons went against the treaty and we were attacked unexpectedly and unprepared."

He sighed allowing me to come to my own conclusion as to what happened since it looked to hard for him to explain. After a moment of silence he spoke again. "There was a lot of blood spilled, but most of us made it out alive, we had to split up through. The strongest ran small groups to different posts we had set up in a situation like this."

"Where is everyone else..." I said staring out the balcony door.

"Grant has a post about twenty blocks over and he's the closest that I know of. Don't worry Karai's fine, but I haven't heard from Pepper or Jax...Murph is with a separate post farther out."

He walked over to me and sat down on the bed next to me crossing his arms. "I was worried you wouldn't be able to find anyone, we're all so split apart and far from the hospital, but last night you were dropped off here all tore up and I almost burst out in tears just knowing you were alive, well partially like usual." He said smirking nudging my shoulder.

"Did you see who dropped me off?"

"No they just gave us three knocks on the window and they were gone."

"I think it was the night watcher." I said softly remembering the way he stood and spoke, it was so familiar I couldn't stop thinking about it now.

Talon seemed to tense up at my hypothesis. "That guy's nothing but a murderer, he would've killed you."

"Well here I am, am I dead yet?" I say holding out my arms for emphasis.

"Trust me Al, whoever that scum is, he's nothing but a monster."

Without warning a memory flashed back into my head and I shut my eyes getting used to my new ability. At April's I had found out I didn't need to have another person there to see my memories, they would recall themselves on their own to me.

_I traced the crack in his shell with my nail, it must've been a sensitive spot because I felt him shudder. I found my way up to the back of his neck, tugging at his mask's tails. As I went to untie it I felt two large hands stop me._

_"Alex, no."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You don't get it, my mask is the only thing making me look less of a monster. If I take it off...you'll see how much of a freak I really am."_

_"I think, everyone has a little bit of monster in them, don't you think."_

This memory was a message, but I had yet to understand it's meaning. I repeated my words back to Talon as he stood there with a dumb look on his face trying to understand what I was doing.

"I think everyone has a little monster in them, don't you think Tal." I said running my hand along the champagne colored curtains that drifted on their hangers slowly in the mid-morning wind. I walked out the open doors to the balcony and realized I was in the heart of the city, surrounded by tall buildings that looked as if they could pierce the sky.

Talon joined my side at the cemented railing. We were in a beautiful building, and on one of the top floors since I could barley make out anything on the streets below. "I agree but some just learn how to contain it better than others." He said, but I wasn't listening I was thinking about the night watcher and what he had said to me.

"Do you think to love is to destroy?" I asked gazing out over the grey city.

He sighed, not knowing where I had taken the conversation. "I guess. I mean imagine falling in love ten times over just to find out the person you love, loves someone else. That could probably destroy you, inside and out."

I looked at him, when did he become so philosophical and understanding. "You sound like you've been through it before." I said playfully nudging him. He just smiled, but something was bothering him. I decided it was best to leave it be.

Eventually Talon left me alone on the balcony and that gave me some time to think things through.

First thing, everything I had learned about the night watcher seemed oddly familiar, and none the less terrifying. In a way he reminded me of the way Raphael used to act, so cocky, and full of fight. I needed to know why he spared my life if he had taken so many before me, I had to find him. I would go out tonight and hopefully he would come to me.

* * *

_**I'm sorry if this chapter dragged on a little, and frankly, I haven't introduced Raph yet because I don't know how to bring him back into the flow of things with his new supposed personality. Also I haven't been able to update in forever (Please forgive me!) Because of midterms and school stuff but I'll make sure I get the next chapter out a little quicker. I forced myself to wrap this chapter up where it did because it was so draining to write and I apologize, also please feel free to mentally correct my grammar if I didn't read it over that well, I kind of just skimmed. And thank you guys so SO much for all the reviews, they really do help to keep this story going and I love reading what you guys have to say, plus I really needed that little boost in confidence. (: **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey guys! I hope you really enjoy this chapter it really took a while to develop and there were points when I almost gave up completely, it was frustrating to write but I think I got it all down. Oh, and the scene with Alex and Talon in the beginning with her memory is supposed to be confusing so don't think to hard about how it's put together, it's supposed to be in fragments... Anyways, please let me know what you think, and I really enjoy seeing tons of reviews because honestly? who wouldn't? So get ready for the ending, hope it lives up to your guys' standards (: **_

_**Enjoy.**_

* * *

Chapter Nine.

"Ready?" I whisper.

"Yeah." He says as I watch his eyes fall shut, shortly mine follow and we are both encased in the world of my mind, awaiting what it's going to show us today.

Images of Casey and I in the lair flashed back to me in small segments as Casey's voice rang through my ears in jumbled sentences, this wasn't like my other memories. This one was a jumbled mess of words and images I'd have to sort through on my own.

_"What's up Al." he said eyes still in his comic._

_"What have you two been up to?" I said noticing Raphael had walking into the lair with him, but chose to go straight to the lab where his brothers had congregated. _

_"Bashing skulls like usual."_

_"What! We're the vigilant heroes of the big apple it's what we do Al." he said giving me a slight chuckle._

_ "Me and Raph, we've been sneakin out to go to this abandoned warehouse. We found this old bike and we've been fixin it up to run good in there."_

_"Don't worry Al, I'll protect him for you." He said smirking at me._

_"Yeah, I think you need someone to protect you from each other." I laughed_

_"Listen Alex...Raph, he's getting really into this vigilante stuff."_

_"He wouldn't leave his brothers behind." I said trying to convince myself._

_"We'll find out I guess."_

I opened my eyes to see Talon with his eyes still closed trying to figure out what I had just showed him. "It's like your memories are sifting through themselves to find anything that is relevant to what is happening now." He said slowly opening his eyes with a questioning look on his face.

It had been three days since I found myself here with Talon by chance, and after the first day I decided it would be best if I told Talon everything that had happened since the moment I rode away of the bike in search of April with Casey. I had showed him my memories, of April, of the turtles, and even ones of Master Splinter. He was shocked at first when I had told him about everything that happened, but understood under the circumstances of the current situation. I think he was most controversial over my acclaimed love for a mutant turtle. "Humans were meant to be with humans Alex." He had said to me after opening his eyes from the world inside my memories of the red clad turtle...

"That could be true." I said tracing circles in the granite countertop with my fingernails.

"Casey took you to the bike you left here on, right? He knew exactly where it would be?"

"Well, yeah." I said feeling the headache from our session bubbling up right above my eyebrows. I ran my cool hand across my forehead to try and stop it from coming but it didn't work, it never worked.

"The bike Casey took you to is the bike Raphael and him worked on when you were living with them. The memory is putting it right out there for you...I mean it even makes the connection about how Raphael was going to eventually go solo!" Talon said clapping his hands together to award himself for, in his mind, being the smartest person in the room. It was strange watching him decipher my memories like he would his favorite television show.

I just shook my head, he was right...the bike was the same one but this got me no where closer to being able to find Raph. I sighed as I fell back onto the chestnut leather couch and closed my eyes as the smell of the texture drifted up all around me. I picked through anything Casey had said related to the bike that could've meant anything or point me to where Raphael was now. But everything he said was pretty much under his breath and something snide or sarcastic. I then realized Casey had no intention of ever helping me search for Raph. Something had happened between the two that he didn't tell me about, and now I wish I had pried into the past two years of Casey's life a little more.

"Maybe you should just give up looking for him, go find Leo, he seems cooler anyway." Talon said while he fumbled around in the kitchen with lunch, there was hardly any food here and I made a mental note that we needed to do a run for some later. Talon had developed a sort of connection to Leo through my memories and stories of him, he thought the two were alike and I couldn't help but agree that they would've probably been friends...

"You know I couldn't do that." I said leaning my head back to concentrate on something other than my fast approaching headache. It would be like finishing a puzzle only to find out that a piece had been missing this whole time, nothing would fill it's spot nor take it's place leaving the puzzle incomplete. That's what a family without Raphael would be like. Incomplete.

"You don't think he's still in love with you right?" Talon said a little too harsh for my current mood.

"I don't know. Guess we'll have to find him first." I said almost mumbling. The truth was I had been harvesting some small glimmer of hope in my heart that the mutant turtle still held feeling for me, but I knew better than to make wagers like that anymore.

"I mean, he couldn't give you a normal life even if he wanted to. Wouldn't you want regular looking kids running around and a normal looking husband to wake up to every morning? Preferably a handsome husband" He said winking at me.

Now I was beginning to become agitated and I let the feeling bubble up inside me instead of just blowing off his remarks like I used to. "Do you ever think I would be able to live a normal fucking life anyway?!" I said letting my voice raise. He just looked at me as if I was missing the point of what he said. I didn't stay long enough for an explanation though, I stormed up the clear glass stair case and slammed the double doors behind me that led to the room I had unfortunately wound up in three days ago. Why couldn't anyone understand my life, was it because it was such a jumbled mess, or were people just that ignorant.

I opened up the doors to the balcony and let the air roll in, it was almost July the time was beginning to blur as my life became more hectic by the minute. I looked to the rooftops as always in search of my masked hero, but he was never there. As the days drew on I kept looking but the rooftops remained empty as I started to get more agitated by Talon's presence rather than appreciate it. Maybe it was because he thought he had some purpose now that the clan was divided, he saw himself above me as my leader instead of the best friend I so needed right now. Which was ironic because technically I was his leader but apparently he had forgotten my status in the clan. I so wished I could've ended up with Grant, maybe even that prissy Caleb, but Talon would have to do for now.

As I closed myself in my room for was felt like the hundredth time I decided one last peek out on the balcony couldn't hurt. I had a red sundress on I had found in one of the closets and it surprisingly fit quite snug around my body, making me look like an actual girl for once since I had been out of the clan garb. I let my dress flow in the midnight air of summer, July was here.

And just as simple as that, he was too.

I saw him, perched atop a raised ledge on a roof like a bird ready for flight a few streets over. Although I had just caught sight of him, he was already looking at me. I could sense it all through my body as I felt my heart skip a beat. Suddenly I wished I hadn't changed out of my patrol garb so I could run off after him, but as soon as I was distracted by my own thoughts he was gone. I looked back to see the perch empty and for some reason my heart fell. I had lost another chance to speak to him.

I sighed and crawled up on my huge bed sitting crisscross on the plush mattress letting my body sink in. While scouting around the complex I had found a bundle of books and carried them silently back to my room before I could be questioned by Talon who had, in his head, become the new justice system and needed to know what I was doing at all hours of the day and night. But tonight he was scouting for food with a few others and I was left in peace. I opened a page of the book that sat atop the pile I had found. The hobbit, one of Don's favorites. I always told him I would get around to reading it, that and Lord of the rings, might as well start now.

As I read through the every first chapter I was pulled from Middle earth and back to New York city as I heard something out on my balcony. I sat up in my bed and peered out through the open doors, only to find the shielded figure standing there cloaked in shadows, leaning up against the railing with his arms crossed.

He looked as if he were waiting for me to join him from his body language so I reluctantly slid off my bed pulling at the hem of the sundress. As my bare feet hit the cool floor I pondered for a moment if it would be a good idea to go out there with no weapons, but my body pulled me to him anyways.

"Red was always my favorite color." He said, I could feel his eyes on me and I felt the blood heat up in my veins.

"Why did you save me from those mutants, I'm sure you would've equally enjoyed watching them tear me apart limb from limb." I said standing in the frame of the balcony keeping a guarded stance.

He just chuckled. "Well that would've been a show, but everyone deserves second chances right? And that day you were the lucky I was in the vigilante mood." His voice muffled under his helmet.

"Why are you here?" I said, my voice coming off a little bitter. "Have I peeked an interest in your life of pillaging and bashing skulls?"

His stance shifted a little and he turned to face the streets. I stayed behind him.

"You remind me of someone...Though I haven't' come to the conclusion as to why I haven't killed you yet."

"Well maybe if you got to know me a little better, we could be allies." I said with a little hesitation.

"I don't take well to other people, I work alone."

"Well then maybe it's time you let someone in."

"The last person I let in destroyed me, made me like this."

I sighed leaning up against the frame. "No, you made yourself like this." I said watching his arm twitch.

"Is that so." He said muttering.

"You had the choice of two pathways and you chose the darker, more isolated one, leading you to your ultimate demise in a world where you see every living soul as your enemy." I said smiling inwardly at my choice of words, it sounded awfully poetic.

"What do you know." He muttered through his helmet.

"I've been there before, I held a dagger up to my wrist and almost said goodbye."

"What stopped you." He spat at me, only forming a smile on my face. There it was again, that "kiss my ass attitude" and the bad boy stance. I had seen it and heard it before.

"Let me show you." I said walking up to him placing a hand on his shoulder, and before I knew it I was sucked back into my memories and he was there too.

_I walked back into Raphs room and grabbed one of the daggers on his nightstand. I took the dagger in my hands and held it to my wrist looking at my reflection through the gleaming metal of the blade.. I wanted to die. I hated my life, being all alone. Something stopped me from pressing the dagger into my wrist, but I sunk to the ground and started to cry. I pushed harder on the dagger watching blood appear. "It'll be over soon" I said to myself watching blood pool on the floor beside me as I let out small whimpers of pain muffled by my own tears. _

_"Alex, go to be- Alex!" Raph jumped off his bed and knocked the dagger out of my hands in one quick swipe._

_"Just let me do it! Please!" I cried. I kept begging and pleading to just end it all, to take me from this life but I felt strong arms wrap around me telling me to shut up. _

_Raph just held me as tight as he could in his arms and we sat on the ground like that until I gave up._

_"Alex why would you even try that!? Are you nuts?"_

_"If you had seen the things I've seen you would want this too."_

_He picked me up and set me on his bed. He grabbed a blanket from the bed and ripped a piece off tying in around my cut. I watched him as he did this, he was so focused. He must've done this a thousand times when his brothers were injured. When he was done he looked at me with sad eyes._

_"Please don't ever do that again." he said._

_"Why you wouldn't want to take the blame since I'm your responsibility?" I shot at him ignoring the hot tears running down my face._

_"No! just shut up Alex. You don't get it..."_

_I gave up trying to fight him ad let out a small sigh. _

_"Alex, you have a new family now whether you like it or not and you're not getting rid of us so easily." he said._

As I opened my eyes back up to the six something feet of metal and leather before me, I realized I had left the man virtually shocked. He didn't move but he turned his head to face me, and for the first time I thought I could see his eyes, green and full of pain. I leaned up on the railing next to him, I don't know why but in these past few moments of just being alone on the balcony made me more comfortable around him, I could tell he had no intention of hurting me.

It looked like he was going to say something, but before he could I heard a loud crash and Talon burst through the door with his cross bow in hand and didn't hesitate to send an arrow right in between us. Before I could protest Talon prepared to fire again but his target was already gone. Just like that he slid away into the darkness again.

"What the HELL TALON!" I screamed dislodging the arrow that had landed right next to me. "Have you gone completely insane?!" I lunged at him trying to knock the cross bow out of his arms.

"Al-Alex!" He said doing his best to dodge me. "I heard voices and though you were being attacked!" He yelled.

"What!" I yelled back at him standing there glaring daggers at him. I set him ablaze in my mind, but I'm sure from my eyes he could tell what I was thinking.

"I shouldn't have left you alone, that man is a killer, and a monster." He said simply out of breath from my previous rant of terror. I just shot him a disgusted look and told him to get out before he could explain anything else.

* * *

It was both painful and beautiful to be around someone as broken as me for once. Talon was always so full of energy and he used to be my best friend, now he was like my parole officer, making sure I didn't leave my room or hangout on my balcony after hours. I couldn't talk to him about anything anymore without being questioned or yelled at. The night watcher had been through just as much as me, but where I was dragged down the path of "This is your chance to turn your life around" unconsciously, he had been forced to make the choice himself, and being so broken and overcome with anger, chose the darkest path he could submerge himself in.

Those green eyes though, they were familiar and captivating. The very green eyes that used to send shivers down my spine and force the blood to my cheeks. The eyes that watched me as I walked down the hallways with his brother, or when it was two in the morning and I couldn't fall asleep. The green eyes that haunted my dreams and chased me away from reality, the reality that Raphael was no longer Raphael, and I didn't even notice.

I curled up in the soft bed that could easily hold four to five people and grabbed up the hobbit again and started to read from where I had left off. I hadn't gotten far before my mind started to wander and I couldn't concentrate on the words on the page in front of me anymore. So I put the book down on the page I had left off on and slid off the edge of the bed letting my feet brave the chill of the hard wood floors. I walked to the bathroom that was connected to my room and with my palms pressing up against the basin counter top I stared at my reflection in the mirror realizing how matted my hair was and how drained my face looked. I could go for a hot bath right now.

I turned to find a nicely sized tub that would have to do. I made sure to turn the heat all the way up, if the water even ran here anymore. Talon told me he and the other foot soldiers had fixed everything, so let's hope he wasn't bluffing just to make me feel more at home. I cranked the knob all the way to the right and water sputtered out, I smiled for the first time since Talon busted down my door, seconds later hot water ran across my palm. I searched the cabinets until I found a big bottle of body wash and poured some into the tub making the bathroom smell like lavender. As the water reached the brim of the tub I shut it off and slid in feeling the water scaling my body, maybe the heat could melt away everything I had ever known and I could make a fresh start. I laughed at the idea, knowing with my luck I'd never escape the hole I had dug myself into since I arrived here on a train almost two and a half years ago now.

As my body got used to the warmth of the water my mind began to wander again. I wondered what April was up to right now, maybe Don was up in his lab as the night drew on working on something that he had calculated in his head a million times, or maybe he was up in the kids rooms reading to them from Lord of the rings. I smiled little at the thought. Mikey would be making a snack right now, and April might be sitting on the couch making a list of things they were running short on, or watching the tv broadcast about the city. She had always wanted to be a journalist in the city...

I was pulled out of my trance by a clap of thunder in the distance and the sudden patter of rain against the side of the building. It was both peaceful and disarming at the same time listening to the noise and feeling the ground shake beneath you. Storms in the city have always been bad. As the water became lukewarm I drained it and pulled myself out of the tub with my good arm, and wrapped my body up in a nearby towel.

It was late, and I found a pair of flannel pajamas in the closet. This must've been a girls room because all of her clothes fit me, and looked like something someone my age would typically war in the city. It was a little unnerving though as to why all of her clothes were left behind. As I grabbed the pj's from the shelf a thought emerged in my head and it seemed to be urging me.

_Not now,_ I told myself. _It's storming out are you nuts?_ but the thought still did not leave my mind and I figured it had to be someone else's doing, putting this thought in my head because there was no way in hell I would actually convince myself to go out in this pouring rain and lightning. But I was, I dropped the pajams and grabbed my patrol gear getting it on as fast as I could. I opened the balcony doors to pouring rain and without looking back I slid down the fire escape not even bothering to shut the doors behind me. Surely Talon would have a heart attack when he learned I had went out in this storm against his word and also injured, but then maybe he'd learn he doesn't own me.

As my feet touched the pavement of the sidewalk I let my breath catch up to me, my hair was still sopping wet from my bath but that was the last of my inconveniences since it was pouring down rain and my entire body was soon shivering and protesting my poor choice to go out. I crossed the street finding a fire escape through the illumination of the lightning and starting my ascent for the skies. I soon reached the roof only to ask myself why I was even out here. Maybe I needed to feel the rush of the open world again after only being cooped for two weeks, or maybe I let my mind linger a little too long on who this night watcher really was, and why Talon was so quick to shoo him away.

I stood in the pouring rain until I caught the outline of a pack of mutants not far off in the distance and let my body take over. My legs ached as they hurdled roof tops and pushed me farther away from Talon and his band of puppets. I couldn't stand him anymore. What had come over him? I guess even the slightest bit of power can turn you awry. As I ran I didn't really pay attention to where I was heading, I knew I had to get far enough away from the mutants, but I also had no clue where I was exactly in the city and with no way of re-routing myself I was pretty much fucked. My only hope was to, out of some coincidence, run into the one person I was looking for. You know, the one sheathed in metal who reeked of dried blood and leather? He drew me to him like a moth to flame, an attraction I couldn't quite explain since being around him brought on an array of emotions, mostly anger towards his ignorance, but sometimes curiosity to learn more. I began to curse myself for even letting a simple thought take me over until in the illumination of the lighting I saw a figure up ahead leaning under a half beaten billboard advertising toothpaste and I felt a grin creep up onto my face.

As I drew towards him he perked up at the sound of my footsteps and drew his chain weapons and stood firm waiting for the mutants he thought were lurking in the shadows. He seemed to back off a ways when he saw me, as if terrified by my unannounced presence. It was like he was seeing a ghost...

"What are you doing out here? It's storming go home." He said a little harshly. I could hardly hear him under the thunder and patter of the down pour.

"I don't have a home anymore." I said back watching his figure come in and out of focus as the lightning struck around us. He could easily slip away without me even noticing, it was pitch black out here after all.

"Leave before you get hurt kid." He spat at me whipping his chain in his hand, but his tone was guarded and cracked at times, he hesitated when he swung the chain up and around his arms and I think I knew why. April had been right, mostly about how dark his mind had become, but the nightmares were just stories played out in my head about what could happen when I came face to face with the shadowed figure that lurked in the back of my mind. I had created a monster out of pure ignorance to the fact that he might be just as scared as I was right now, because I knew he knew.

"You wont hurt me. You saved me from the pack of mutants that day but you hardy knew me, why?"

"I already told you." He said backing away, into the comfort of the shadows.

"Tell me, night watcher, was it really because I reminded you of someone, or because I was someone." I said letting my voice reach the brink of a whisper as my sentence rolled off my tongue. I felt a knot forming at he back of my throat as the ran pelted my body. If I let the tears come now, at least it would go unnoticed. "For two years you have haunted my dreams, making you out to be a monster, tell me have you not suffered the same fate? I saw it in your eyes when I showed you the memory, you were scared." I pulled back my hood and let the force of the rain water log my hair yet again.

"You don't know anything!" He bellowed making my heart skip a beat.

"My mask slid off when you carried me back to Talon, but you didn't want to believe what you saw. You told yourself I was just another foot solider but everything about me brought you back to the girl in the sewers. Didn't it."

"STOP!" He cried stomping his way over to me, the lighting outlining his menacing stance made my body want to run for cover but I held my ground we came chest to chest. I'm sure he could hear my heart ready to thump right out of my chest at this point, but his ragged breathing told me he was just as ready to run away as I was.

"You are not alive! I watched you die!" He yelled in my face pushing me back like I was nothing but an illusion.

"I lived, I'm here!" I screamed back. "This isn't another dream, you're awake and I'm real."

"No, no, no...no.." He mumbled as his knees sank to the ground before me. In the background another pang of lightning struck lighting up the whole sky, and if it weren't for the current situation I was in I would stand in awe of it's beauty, but now I couldn't tell if I wanted to jump off the side of the building or let myself face my madness like Leo had. My life had certainly taken a few rough turns along the way.

I stood before the sunken figure before me, even on his knees he was no puny thing. Carefully I took a handle on his helmet and slowly lifted it off his head. He seemed like a mess, and I didn't even think he realized what I had done until it was too late. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat and even from the rain my palms were sweaty with a slight shake. I let the helmet drop to the ground as my mind caught up with itself.

Two tails of a mask flapped in the wind, no longer held down by the helmet, and under the brightness of the lightning I saw red.

"Please don't shut me out." I said tears welling up in my eyes from the disbelief that my assumptions were actually correct for once.

With his eyes still closed, I sank down in front of him not knowing where to go from here.

"Raphael..." I said in a choked whisper.

At the sound of his name he slowly opened his eyes and for the first time I think he actually saw me for who I really was. Green eyes dulled by the pain and suffering of two years wandering alone washed over me like tidal waves and it felt as if in this moment nothing else mattered, not Talon discovering I was gone, not my aching body shivering in the chill of the hard rain, not even the downpour that had us kneeling in an inch of water.

"Alex..." He said choking on his own tears as we sat in the lightning storm together, realizing for the fist time we wouldn't have to wander alone anymore, and that the nightmares and sleepless nights would cease to exist, and the monsters we had created and bred in our minds over the past years had been nothing more than our greatest fears festering inside of us, wanting us to run scared.

But finding the figure behind the monster in my head was only the easy part.

As I sat and cried looking at him in awe, thinking _how did I ever get by without you..._sudden swirls of blue, deep and glorious danced along the back of my eyelids and all through my train of thought and all I could hear was one voice speaking to me, but I knew it wasn't Raph's.

_"I wont be so easy to come by."_ It said, and I asked God why couldn't it have only been one brother lost in the darkness of the city.

Now came the hard part.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten.

Raphael's P.O.V

The thunder storms never really bothered him, he actually loved them and so he would sit in the under hang of a billboard for hours until the sun shone again and he went inside to get some sleep. Tonight was no different except for two things, there was lightning this time and it was a little off putting, and he couldn't seem to keep his mind on track. There was a girl he stumbled upon a week ago and she was everything that dwelled in the deepest vault of his mind. His heart told him she had returned and wanted him to be happy, but he had seen enough of the scene that day to know she was dead...at least until he visited her on the balcony. She had touched his shoulder and he was transported inside her memories. How'd she even do that? The scarier thing was that the memory she showed him, was of himself years ago in his old bedroom, and then his heart thumped a little harder and he couldn't find any words to speak anymore and he almost thanked that prissy little foot solider for almost shooting him because it gave him a reason to slip away into the darkness yet again.

His heart went into overdrive as he scaled the rooftops in front of him, he tried to erase what had just happened from his memory but it stayed there, playing over and over again. It was him, he saw himself in her memory, and there was only one other girl besides April that knew of his existence or even shared memories with him. But that girl was dead.

He didn't stop running until his legs gave out in front of him and he sat in the now pouring rain debating if God could've dealt him a shittier hand. Why was this happening to him? Surely he'd have to avoid that area for some time before he could regain himself. She was dead, she wasn't coming back.

It wasn't until a while later in the dead of night with the lightning lighting up the skies that he knew his in his heart it was her, but his brain still held the reigns for he had not thought with his heart since that nightmarish day over two years ago. And then like a nightmare she was there, standing across the rooftop from him illuminated by the bursts of lightning. He knew he could slip away but his feet stayed planted and more than anything he wanted to throw himself over the side of the building because he knew there was no way he would be able to erase this from his memory.

She called out to him, and he told her to leave, to go away and never come back. He didn't want her here and he didn't want to stand on the same ground as her. He even put on his most terrifying aura and tried to scare her off but she held her ground and tortured him with her words. She spat at him the facts of the weeks past evens and all of the truths hidden within the knowing glances and small talks. Under the mask she had figured him out.

It was then he gave up, he went to her an sunk to his knees before the very monster that would kill him every night in the same dream and he wished this were just another dream, because reality was hitting him harder than any blow he had ever taken before. When he looked at her he knew she was going through the same thing, but she was virtually stronger than him, for she stood her ground longer and didn't break down until the very end. But he couldn't take it. As she slid his helmet off he felt the rain pour over his smooth head and felt it slowly soak into his mask. He felt her hands run over the tail ends of the red cloth and listened to her breathing, it was slow, calming, but her heartbeat was erratic and her hands shook. And when she spoke his name every single inch of him shattered into a million pieces because the last thing he heard that voice say was I love you, and the last thing he had seen before they all went to what should've been their doom's, was her face and the freckles that danced under her eyes an over her nose. And now the freckles were darker and her voice sounded even sweeter than before.

Standing before him in the downpour was the girl he had saved from the Kraang all those years ago, and though to him it felt like only yesterday because everyday he took another breath and woke up alone in the stillness of the dark city, he replayed the memories of her over and over. Heart breaking every single day. She had grown taller and leaner and her hair was longer now and her eyes, oh her hazel eyes were brighter than ever. But right now they were looking down at him he could tell they were clouded and drained because what would happen now?. Surely life wouldn't pick up where it left off, and he saw the way that foot solider had watched her when he busted down the door, his eyes were full of worry and it was obvious through the years they had a bond with one another, and he loved her without ever telling her.

What was that of love now? He didn't know if his heart could handle that feeling anymore.

He took a deep breath and he felt her body sink down next to him and he looked at her for the first time without the lens of his helmet which created a false sense of security. Now he knew it really was her, not some ghost, not some hellish nightmare. Everything he had ever fought for and lived for in this cruel world he lived in had been preserved in this human body sitting in front of him. He didn't know if he should wrap her up tight in his arms and never let go, or if he should disappear now and save them both the pain of readjusting to life knowing nothing will ever be the same again. So he just sat there and in the illumination of the lightening they locked eyes and he whispered the name he used to scream in his dreams out of terror, but now it sounded soft and delicate and he realized the dreams were just his imagination and everything he had thought before was wrong.

Alex was very much alive, and by the way his skin burned at her touch he knew there was still something there, he just didn't know if it was worth re-kindling in the dangerous world they lived in. Why fall in love just to have it ripped away from you again. It was then the very words he had uttered to her before played like a broken record in his head.

_To love is to destroy._

* * *

**I know this was super short, but I thought it would be nice to see someone else's perspective for once. So let me know what you think? What will become of Raph and Alex now? Also I need your guys opinions, what do you think about a hobbit/LOTR story? I've loved the story line forever and grew up on the movies. I've even read the Silmarillion and have some ideas for the story. Tolkien created something amazing and I really think it'll be fun to write, but only if I get a yay or nay, I wont write a story nobody will read. If you want message me, if not leave me something in the review box, what should happen next?(: Love you guys**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven.

Finding Leonardo sat in the back of my head all day, where to start, what to look for, and what to expect. I mean, I really had no idea what mental state he would be in, let alone his physical health. I wanted to start looking for him as soon as possible, who knows how long it would take for him to come back to reality, and I wanted the process to be fast. I already missed Wren and everyone I left at the farmhouse. It felt like leaving behind a family all over again, I couldn't even estimate when I would be able to see them again.

One thing kept my mind off my task though, and that was the giant mutant turtle sitting in front of the window of the abandoned apartment I found when I first came back. He was taller, and his muscles looked so defined and strong like an ox. He looked more guarded, more mysterious than that of his fifteen year old self, and I couldn't blame him, being alone makes you forget how to trust the world around you. I had been there before, and was starting to draw back into that state because of my recent experience with Talon, and with no idea where any of the other foot were, and Raphael not really talking, I felt more alone than ever.

I was standing, elbows down on the granite counter with my head in my hands. The heat was starting to fatigue me and I needed rest but I was afraid if I closed my eyes for one second, Raphael wouldn't be there when I opened them back up. I hadn't slept since the night of the rooftops, and Raphael had hardly spoken either. The only interaction between us was a few passing glances and some agreement over what to eat.

I wanted so badly to just talk to him, to sit him down and have him tell me everything that had happened, but I knew I wasn't getting anything out of him anytime soon. I mean , whenever he looks at me it's like he doesn't even see me, like I'm not there, like I'm a ghost. It was like torture for both of us, I could tell part of him didn't want to be stuck in an apartment with me, helping me pin-point the brother he clashed most with. I could tell it was eating him alive just to sit down on the same couch with me, although most times he stood by the window puffing on cigars staring out into the streets like a caged animal.

"We should start in the sewers." A deep voice spoke from his spot near the window. I flinched I was so surprised he actually spoke.

"That's what I was thinking, would it be safe though? What about the mutants..." I said my voice trailing and I watched for the first time a small smirk appear on his face. "What?" I asked standing up straight.

"The mutants are the least of our worries." He said simply looking over at me in my patrol garb, cracking open the window. "So...when we planning on going?"

I pondered this question for a moment, when? I hadn't even devised what we would do when we found him, or how we would get him back to the apartment. Let alone, where would we even start looking? There were so many tunnels under the city. "Do you remember the way to the lair?"

* * *

Two hours later and my nose hadn't fully adjusted to the smell, it was a mix of dead carcasses and un-kept sewage. Everything had overflowed and I was calves deep in a mix of water, two year old feces and blood, and if that didn't nauseate me enough, I even saw a few dismembered body limbs floating around. If this were two years ago Raphael would've offered to carry me, even lead the way, but no, my legs were soaked with the concoction I was trudging through, while also leading the way with only a stick for protection. Behind me all I could hear was Raph's heavy breathing and in a way it kept me calm.

It felt like forever until we came upon an opening and I saw a hint of dark orange peek out around the corner, it was the old couch. "Raph, look..." I said pointing out ahead of me but he had already brushed past making his way for the old lair. I stifled a small grunt and jogged to catch up to him. Inside I catch up to him, but he sticks his arm out to stop me and I bump right into it. "Shhh.." He says giving me a stern glare. He then points his finger in the direction of the old dojo and I listen carefully, in the distance I hear soft noises, like something crawling along the floor. "I'll go first." Raph says taking out his sias. "Stay here."

I stood still for the first two minutes, then started fidgeting around, I was getting uneasy, and my body told me to get out, to run as fast as I could to the surface, but I couldn't yell to Raph to tell him we had to leave, and I was told to stay put, so that's juts what i did. It was the first time I hadn't listened to that gut feeling of fear in my stomach and it was the last time I decided i would ever go against my instinct again, because within a thirty second time span two large arms wrapped around me, one hand holding a dagger to my neck. I heard heavy breathing behind me and I wanted to scream, but couldn't. Ten seconds later a rock was bashed against my head and I was swallowed up into that dark void, like I had been so many other times. The last thing I remembered was being dragged.

* * *

I had to blink a few times for the blur to go away, but soon realized I was tied up and sitting in two inches of sewage. It was dark, but I could make to a figure in front of me, it was standing across the tunnel from me leaning against the wall. In the distance I could hear someone calling my name, but my mind couldn't register who it could be, I was still half conscious.

"Who are you?" I blurted out, my voice incredibly calm.

Inside my head a vaguely familiar voice spoke. _"Don't say anything, Raph's coming."_

The figure walked over to me and through a little peek of the sun shining in to the tunnel I got a quick glimpse of my attacker. "You should've never left." He said sharpening a katana blade. "How could you never see I cared about you? I could be the one taking care of you the rest of your life!" He bent down and leaned real close to my face. "But instead..." I felt the sharp edge of the blade on my neck. "You chose the mutant freak."

"Talon..." I choked.

"Shhhh! No, it's fine, I already told Karai you left the clan. You're officially out the door princess." He chuckled. "And guess who she filled your empty spot with?" The smirk growing on his face as the blade stung my neck.

"You didn't" I spat.

"Ahh, but I did. Say hello to the new second in command...but I guess the clan life doesn't mean anything to you anymore. You're back to being nothing, like you always were."

Raphael's voice was coming closer and closer and secretly I wished he would throw Talon against the wall. My own best friend, the one who nursed me back to health under his watch...that was all gone now, replaced by the Talon I never knew existed. The dark, unforgiving one.

"Alex!?" I voice rang out close to where we were.

"I gotta go Al, so one last thing. Do us all a favor and stay the fuck away from us. You're not in the clan anymore, you're no longer family." With the last words the blade sunk a little deeper into my neck and I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I would never forgive him. I watched him scale the closest ladder and he was gone. I watched him leave my life for good and I couldn't tell if I wanted to chase him down and put a knife through him, or beg for forgiveness I didn't even know I needed.

I never heard him, but I felt his arms tight around me lifting me out of the filth I was sitting in. He was asking me something, saying my name but I couldn't hear him. All I could hear was a high pitched noise in my ears and Talon's last words. "No longer family..." When I finally came to, I was sitting on the couch in the apartment with blankets all around me and a bottle of water on the coffee table. I quickly grabbed for the water, my head pounding, how had I gotten back here? And did that really just happen? My first answer came in the form of a mutant turtle. He was back in his corner with a cigar laced between his fingers.

He must've hear my movement because he quickly gazed over at me and I thought I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief.

"What happened?" I asked groping my head. There was a dried patch of blood on my temple and I could feel the scarring cut across my neck.

"You tell me." he huffed discarding the cigar out the window. "I found you half awake in a pile of shit." He stifled a laugh but then wandered over to me with a blank face. "Who did this to you? Was it Leo?" He asked sitting on the other end of the couch.

"No, it was one of the old foot soliders I used to patrol with." He raised an eyebrow.

"Either they really hated you there, or you did somethin to this guy." His arms wrapped around the back of the couch, and I tried to sit up the rest of the ways.

"We had a history together." I sighed. "But I'd really like to stick a fork in his eye now, considering he could've killed me last night." I got a smirk and a small chuckle but nothing more. "Did you see any signs of Leo?"

He sighed. "Nope, I even went back after I brought you here. Nothing. He must've moved down the tunnels a ways."

"We'll just look again tomorrow." I said leaning back on the couch.

"You're not going anywhere princess, not with that big gash on your head. I'll go." I smiled a little at his comment, the old Raphael was starting to shine through.

"You know nothing's stopping me from climbing right out that window and following you right?" I smirked.

"I know." He said back smirk playing on his face too.

* * *

That night I started the tub and let my aching body sink in to the scalding water. One look in the mirror and I wanted to vomit, my face was so bloody and bruised, and I reeked. How was Raph so casual with me, If I were him I wouldn't even have brought me back. So I sat in the tub, and scrubbed my face until it felt clean enough then drained the murky water and filled the tub again. I had to scrub my entire body down twice just to get the stench off me.

Once I was done and the water was drained from the tub I carefully got out and draped a soft towel around me, looking at all my new scrapes and bruises. I still had the claw marks from those mutants on the roof a while back and now they looked normal around the forming scar on my neck and the gash on my temple, along with all the other bruises Talon had given me.

I sighed to myself. Talon was supposed to be the least of my worries, now I was afraid he would be able turn everyone against me.

As soon as I walked out the door, now in clean clothes, and smelling a bit better, Raph was there, eyes wide. "I know where Leo is."

"A-are you sure?!" I said back feeling my heart pick up a beat.

"Only one way to find out, but you're staying here." He said. "I'll go check it out tomorrow, get some sleep." I was both happy and a little sad, Raphael was talking to me, but on more of a partner level, like we were cops or something. Like I was his dead weight he had to drag around.

I grunted and walked over to the couch where I had been sleeping for the past few days. I let Raph take the bedroom. As I laid down on the couch I cursed at myself, all my blankets were across the room. "Raph, could you bring me my blankets?" I said sighing. I knew there was a possibility I would probably have to get them myself considering how stubborn the bastard could be. But surprisingly he actually did it. "Here." I said reaching for the pile of warmth.

"I got it." He said his face serious. "Could you relax for five minutes? Geez."

I grinned at him and laid down as he draped the blankets over my body. I felt like a little girl again, being tucked in and all. "Gonna read me a bedtime story next?" I giggled wrapped up in my blankets. He just smirked. "Thanks Raph." I said with a genuine smile, and he returned it.

"Night." Was all I heard before the bedroom door shut and darkness surrounded me. As my eyes drifted shut I couldn't help but notice how warm my cheeks were. Was I juts flirting? I smiled and let my brain wander to pleasant things, mainly Raphael.

* * *

_"you know he's going to find me tomorrow." He said sitting in the rocking chair to my left. We were in the apartment but the streets below were buzzing with traffic and I could smell the pollution rising up into the open window. The stench of the city was familiar, I missed it._

_"What's going to happen? I ask leaning off the couch a tad. Leo was so calm, I couldn't image him being out of control, even insane. What if he never gets back to normal._

_"He'll bring me back here, I can't tell you what kind of shape I'm in."_

_"I know, I just don't want the worst to happen."_

_"You're afraid of me attacking you while you got your body guard around? I may be his brother but he would flatten me to the ground if I ever touched you." He smirked, but I could sense some hurt in his eyes._

_"I just hope it wont come to that." I said gazing at the blue clad turtle. Raphael would be waking up soon to leave._

_"I think I know enough not to hurt the ones I love." He said looking down at the floor._

_"You almost killed April."_

_"The blow was a warning, and she got in the way. She's lucky I knew enough to pull away."_

_"I miss you." I said looking at him, but he kept his gaze on the ground._

_"We'll be together again real soon Alex." He said his somber look turning into a faint smile and the room started to fade back into darkness._ In the blink of an eye he was gone and I could feel the light form the window shining on my eyes but I just rolled over on the couch and drifted off into another dream.

By the time I woke up Raph was already gone, doing my job for me. Leo had visited me last night, he knew his brother would be able to find him and with Talon out there asking for my life it was better I stayed under the radar. I slowly got up and went to the bathroom, my bruises were even uglier today and my scabs were in their disgusting stage where the skin built up. I looked like I could be in one of the side shows of the circus.

I scrubbed my face clean again, but I couldn't help but feel like the stench of the sewers were never coming off.

The cabinets were almost empty in the apartment and I settled for a can of corn and a jug of water for lunch. I waited three hours for Raph to come back, and by the time the sun had started to set I was beginning to think he was gone for good. The thought of having to return to April empty handed was starting to play in the back of my mind.

A half hour later there was knock on the door. It was heavy and urgent and I grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter just in case. When I looked through the peephole I was horrified.

It was Raphael, but he was covered in blood, and slung over his shoulder was his brother, but there was hardly anything to him he looked so dried out and all bones excluding his shell. My heart felt like it was going into over drive. He didn't even look alive.

I quickly opened the door and Raph barreled in. "Start the tub." He said in between breaths, and when I asked for an explanation as to why he was covered in blood all I heard was Mutants. I quickly filled the tub and Raph carefully placed Leo into the water. He was covered in dirt and blood and looked like he was struggling to breathe.

"We need Donnie." I said my voice shaky.

Raph said nothing. He just looked at his brother in the tub and walked out of the room. I could tell there as pain in his eyes and a little guilt, but it was still clouded with hate. I really needed Don here, right now. Leo looked so pale and just dried up. Two years of no one to take care of him, no one to make sure he was okay. I grabbed a wash cloth out from under the sink and started to wipe the dirt and grime from his arms first, it was plastered on and it took me a half hour just to get both his arms clean, only to expose the cuts and scars under all the grime.

I moved to his plastron next and as the tub water became black with dirt I drained it and filled it back up getting him as clean as I could. I wasn't scared for some reason, he wasn't himself anymore yes, but right now laying unconscious in the tub, he looked so helpless and dying.

Once Leo was all clean I filled the tub back up with luke warm water and sat by him for a few more minutes. We really could use Don's help right now. Maybe I should try reaching out to April, the message might never go through but it was worth a try. I closed my eyes real tight and took a deep breath. _April, this is Alex, I'm with Leo right now. He's unconscious and looks like he might not make it much longer. We really need Don's help. Please._

All I could do now was wait, and hope.

Later that night I sat with Raph in the kitchen, he wasn't talking and he wouldn't tell me what happened. I guess it was just one of those things I would never find out about even though it was killing me to know. I grabbed a wash cloth from the sink and wet it with some warm water and walked over to him. He tensed up but didn't protest, he was still covered in blood. As I started to wipe off his wounds I realized some of the cut's weren't from any mutants I had ever seen. They were jagged and didn't make a clean cut, some looked like bite marks too.

"What was down there." I whispered, wondering what would've happened to me if I had chosen to follow him.

"You don't wanna know." He said back staring off into space.

* * *

That night I told Raph I would take first watch on Leo, he didn't protest. I could tell he was exhausted and he needed sleep more than me. I made sure to lock back up the apartment door and latch every window. I didn't know if the mutants would be able to follow Raph's scent back here, and wished that I could feel safe for once in the city.

I sat down on the toilet across from the tub and just started blatantly at Leo. He would be twenty years old by now. Tears welled up in my eyes as the memory of him played through my mind. He was my best friend. I had let Talon take his place in my life, and never thought anything of it while he sat in the tunnels below alone. He turned out this way because of me, and I would do anything to bring him back to his old self, I missed him so much I hadn't even realized until now, when he was half alive in a tub of water in front of me.

"Please hold on." I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

This was the first person to actually fully take me under their wing, to help me and teach me...and love me. I realized I needed him more than ever, but it was my turn to give all those things back when he woke up. I was hoping and praying that Raph would help too, this task couldn't be accomplished by one person.

As I sat on the toilet seat, I realized Leo wasn't wearing his mask and I couldn't tell if it was my mind playing tricks on me, or my lack of sleep but I could've swore I heard April's voice in my head as my eyelids started to get heavy with fatigue and this new overload of stress.

_"Hold on, we're coming."_

* * *

**_Hey guys, hope you liked this chapter, it' a little short and I've been having a writers block lately...anyways, tell me what you like/don't like or what you want to see more of. Also apologize if you liked Talon, I totally turned him evil on you and quite honestly I don't know why. (I do strange things when I can't think of anything else to write about.) Also I posted a hobbit fic, and it sat there for three days and got nothing, so I took it down, maybe I'll revise it and try again, idk. Love you guys!_**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve.

I used to think fate was something that big dreamers made up. Fate, the force that brings you to something that was "meant to be." I never believed in it, it wasn't fate my parents were murdered, it wasn't fate I was being hunted by savage mutants, it wasn't fate I was alone everywhere I went. Maybe some day I could believe, but that day was not today. Not while I was sitting on a toilet seat watching over an unconscious deranged mutant turtle in a tub full of water. That was not supposed to be my fate, not my density, not anything. Maybe if I had been born into a wealthy family in Sicily, and raised as a normal little girl, then I might consider what fate meant and what density was. When you have nothing, you can't be dreaming about the future, you have to keep moving on, no matter what's ahead or behind. If I never became involved with the turtles I might have been able to pull off a semi-normal life, considering I wouldn't have four large reptiles following me around. I could blend in, make a life for myself. Now I was just as much of an outcast as they were.

I spent so much time taking care of other people, so much time being invisible to the world. Now I was awaiting a family reunion, and God have mercy on us all if it turns into a blood bath. April never said who was coming, Don was a given, but would he travel alone? April could be with him but they would never leave the kids alone with Mikey...or Casey. If Leo woke up now and killed me on the spot I don't think I would try and fight back, I was so exhausted with everything.

"Fate." I muttered under my breath. _Fuck that._

I kneeled down on the floor next to the tub and checked over Leo's wounds like I did every day. "How's he doing." A gruff voice came form the doorway. Raphael asked me this everyday even though he knew I couldn't possible give him an answer. I had told him Don was coming and he seemed a little shocked to hear his brother was still alive. No trace of happiness or relief ever crossed his face, he stayed guarded and angry. "Same as yesterday Raph." I said never looking up. I was starting to wonder if I any recognition of our old relationship had ever crossed his mind. He seemed so cold to me, like he never kissed me, or even told me he loved me. But then again we were only kids...maybe we just needed each other then.

"You should come with me for a second." He said crossing his arms over his chest uneasily.

"Why?" I asked sounding a little too agitated. He just shrugged and gave me that _"Whatever"_ look and walked off. I reluctantly got up and followed him out the door down to the room he had been occupying since we got here.

When I got inside the door he closed it behind us, like someone would really disturb us. I'm pretty sure Leo wouldn't be coming around anytime soon. Still, I worried about leaving him alone. "What's this about." I asked leaning with my back against the wall.

"Leo's not the only thing I found down there." He said walking over into the walk-in closet that branched of the farthest wall. I still didn't know where 'there' was, and had no idea what he was talking about. I never saw him bring anything else here.

"What are you talking about." I said watching as he walked out of the closet with something wrapped up in cloth. He held it protectively, like it was something of his that meant a lot. I wondered for a moment if it was Leo's katanas, or maybe Master Splinters cane, but when he laid it out on the bed I knew both of those things were much too short to be whatever was all wrapped up. I looked up at him with curious eyes. "What is it?" I asked.

"Go ahead and find out." He said pacing over to the opened window. looked down to the object then back up at Raph but he wasn't looking. Slowly I un raveled the cloth and as the layers got thinner I knew what was hidden within it. My heart stopped when I caught my reflection in the glint of the blade. Hazel eyes staring back at me, they looked dull and drained. I sighed running my hand along the long blade until I reached the hilt. I let my hands run over the blue cloth that had been tied there. It was Leo's mask.

"Raph." I said, my voice quiet, but he was already looking at me with sad eyes. "he kept it all these years." He said his voice quiet too, his eyes were focused back out the window. "When I found him he was already unconscious, the sword was on the ground next to him." For a moment I could've swore I heard his voice crack a little but he quickly covered it up. I walked over to him leaning on the windowsill to face him.

"Thank you for brining him back." I said resting my hand on his arm, this made him tense up a bit. I hadn't actually touched him yet, maybe he still wished I was a ghost. I quickly retracted my arm and my eyes darted to the window behind me, watching the sun go down. It was getting late and I had already waited two days for Don to show up. He should be here by now.

The sunset was usually beautiful, giving off hues of dark oranges and pinks, sometimes even purple. Tonight the sky was colored blood red and it was a little off- settling. "Raphael." I whispered. He didn't say anything. "You can't keep ignoring me, let me back in." I said not able to look him in the eyes.

I heard him sigh and then he finally spoke. "You think it's just that easy to let you back in after I've been thinking all these years you've been dead?"

I didn't answer him this time, I just took a deep breath and blew it out. I knew it would be hard to re-adjust but I didn't consider how it would actually play out. I thought it would be just sitting down once in while and talking about what had happened to us over time. Not avoiding eye contact and hardly speaking. "Do you still remember how it used to be?" I said shifting my gaze back to the floor. I was talking about our old relationship.

I felt a strong yet delicate hand on the side of my cheek and I forced myself to look up. Emerald eyes looked back down at me full of sorrow and hurt. "I wish I knew how to forget." He said swiping his thumb across my skin. I could feel how rough his finger was, how callused it had become, years of fending for himself and his life had shown.

"I wish we ran when we could've." I said placing my hand over his on my cheek. He only averted his gaze to the window and sighed.

* * *

It's been another whole week and no news from April or Don, I'm beginning to think I'm alone again in the city. Raph wont talk to me, Leo obviously has not gotten any better. From what I can tell he isn't going to get any better without any medical attention. Most mornings I go up on the rooftops and practice with my nodachi, I forgot what it was like to wield a sword. It's almost comforting being so in touch with your weapons, I imagine this it was Raphael feels when he fights with his sias. It's like having an extended version of yourself. Today I'm not practicing though, I've been letting my thoughts consume me, drive me crazy.

Am I in love with the giant mutant turtle sitting in the bathroom involuntarily watching his brother slowly die? Were we just to young to know what love was that night we kissed back two years ago...I couldn't tell you anymore, maybe I'll never know what love is, maybe it just wasn't meant for me.

Maybe all I'm meant to do is run. It's what I'm best at. I mean...I've been running my whole life. Running from life, and death and everything in-between. So now I need to know, do I now run from love?

I sit on the rooftops and loop my legs over the side of the building. Heights don't scare me, only what would happen if I fell. I can't help thinking any moment now Talon's going to run up behind me and push me over the edge. Maybe I should just leave now and find Karai, I know she wouldn't believe what Talon said about me, she knew I missed my old family enough to return to them. Maybe she'd let me back in the clan after I explain to her it's not the same, everything I once loved about this family is gone, shattered.

But, I can't go back now. As much as Raph would want me gone I have to stay for Leo.

I sigh as I hear Raph coming up to the rooftops. It's his time to practice and train but I can't get up, not yet. "Hey." I say quietly as he reaches the roof. He looks down my nodachi and knows I haven't done anything. He just mumbles something. I've decided to take a leap of faith. "We should go to the farmhouse. April and Donnie wont be able to make it here." I say not really knowing if it's true. I assume there's a chance they still haven't left yet and we could meet them halfway. The big question though, was how are we going to get Leo there...

"I don't think that's a good idea." He says looking out over the city. "They got kids there Alex, Leo's a danger to everyone now."

"Trust me the kids can take care of themselves." I close my eyes remembering the day Oliver showed me his gift.

Raphael just shakes his head and continues to training. He's done talking for the day so I pick up my sword and strap it back on. It's my time to watch over Leo for the day. As I walk down the fire escape I hear Raph. "If you can find a way, we'll go." I just smile and slip in the window.

In the bathroom I sit down on the cold hard toilet seat like I've done so many other times. Leo looks the same, he hasn't moved at all, not even the slightest. If it weren't for the slight rising an falling of his plastron I would think he was dead. Some days I'm just to drained to do anything but just sit here and stare at him, so helpless and holding onto life by a thread, other days I sit down on the edge of the tub by him and talk to him like he can talk back. I'll scrub his shell for him, check his pulse, making myself feel like I'm actually doing something to help him. Sometimes I show him the memories of us and even though he can't respond I feel like he can see them.

"Hold on Leo." I say mumbling. Today I just stare at him like staring might wake him, but nothing's going to get him to open his eyes now. "Just please, hold on."

I think of all the times I ignored Leo's feelings, all the times we would sit together on the couch and watch space heroes and I would get so lost in the show I wouldn't' feel his arms tightening around me. All the times he basically straight up told me he loved me, but I just thought he was being friendly, like a brother in a way. Maybe I made a mistake, maybe I was supposed to end up with Leonardo, not Raphael. Maybe if I was not so young and stupid all of this wouldn't have happened, but here I am trying to figure out where it all went wrong. At what point in time should I have chosen different.

I avert my gaze out the tiny window beside me and there in the streets below me is just one of the answers to the many questions swimming through my mind. Sitting parked half on the sidewalk and half into the street is an old van. I've seen it sitting there before but now it's a whole lot more special than just a rotting hunk of metal.

It's a way out. If it runs we're going to the farmhouse.

* * *

_**UGHH! *disgusted sigh* I'm so sorry it has taken me forever to update it's just been so hard to write anything for this story anymore. I've hit a huge writers block for what's going to happen in future chapters, and this chapter is all I could muster up so far even though it's pathetically short compared to my other chapters. Hopefully something comes to me soon! Anyway please leave reviews, and thanks for sticking with this story through it's ups and downs. Love you guys! And go check out my new story, if you're a Hobbit fan! Luckily I've had some motivation to write a few chapters so far for that.** _


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen.

"Ya know what you were saying the other day?" Raphael asked through tired, yet focused eyes. He had been working on the van for a week know, trying to get it to run and was now submerged in whatever just caused the engine to fall flat after trying and trying again to get it to run. "About what?" I asked rubbing my eyes, I had been up all night with him trying my best to help out even though I was really just here to run food back and forth to him.

"You said we should've ran when we had the chance." His gruff voice says through the smoke now arising from under the hood. I watched as he took a few steps back finally exposing me to his face, blackened with grime and grease and shining with sweat. I try to avert my gaze from his sculpted arms as he looks right in my face with a blank stare. "We can still run, let's get outta here, away from everything holding us to this god forsaken city."

I try not to look him in the eyes, but I can feel his stare pulling me up, pulling me to those once bright emerald eyes, now deep green voids. "I think you're forgetting one major factor." I say pulling my head back down into my hands, letting out a helpless sigh. The truth was I did want to run away, but by myself. Raphael was a lost cause, the love we once had? Maybe it was still there but it was buried deep down under turmoil and hurt and I wasn't willing to kick up all that baggage just to find old flames that probably went out a while ago.

"I say we leave Leo with April and Don and take off..." He says, his voice lower now, and it sounds closer. That's when I realize he's standing just an arms length away from me chewing on a toothpick, watching my body language with careful eyes. "Let's start over..."

I wish I could agree, I wish I could just wipe the slate clean, but I'm too deep in this mess now to just let it all go. I can't just leave Leo on April and Don's doorstep, I can't just run away with Raphael. "Let's just get to the farmhouse Raph." I say standing up and walking to the stairs to the apartments. The garage was small, too small for my likings right now. I never looked back to see what he looked like, I knew my heart might turn itself around and run into his arms. I couldn't do that right now, I needed to keep up my guard, to keep moving forward. Maybe after Leo got better I could just leave, go back to North Dakota, or find a way to Sicily and find out why I'm the way I am, and why I'm hunted.

As I climb the stairs to the apartment I can hear Raph going back to work on the van and I sigh. Hopefully it would be running in the morning, though that's what I said everyday since we started working on it.

Two hours later I plop myself down on the bathroom floor next to the tub and rest my head by Leo's. I listen to his shallow breath and the way his fingers sometimes twitch, making ripples in the water. "We're going to see Donnie soon, hopefully he can fix you." I say to him, whispering right next to his ear as if that would help him hear me any clearer, if he even could hear me. "I just hope Raph got to you in time..." The next thing I know I'm falling asleep on the bathroom floor drifting off into another time when I used to wait excitedly for what rested around the corner, now I fear what might come next.

The next morning I can feel Raph shaking me awake and I look up into his eyes and for a split second I can see the teenager side of him again, those shining green eyes bright as day full of wonder and cockiness. "I got it running, get your stuff." And within another second he's gone, leaving me again with his dormant brother. It takes me a minute to process the information just dumped on me, but with wide eyes I start off for my small pack of things I packed a few days before. I stick my nodachi in it's holder and find Raph in the doorway with Leo already wrapped up in towels and a few blankets, and for a moment I catch him looking down at his helpless leader in his arms with sad eyes, but when he senses me in the room his face goes blank again and he leads me out the doorway to the garage. With one final glance behind me I take a look around the room from the doorframe, like the simple little apartment ever had any value to me at all. It was just another stop along the way to wherever life was dragging me.

In the garage Raph's waiting for me in the back of the van with the doors open. He's got Leo curled up by his side and he's pointing towards the front of the van. "You're driving." He grunts tossing me the keys.

It's eerie driving through the city, I mean people have been trying to get back in their apartments and walking around a little but it'll never be the same as it used to be. Not with mutants all over the place. I pass a hooded figure walking in the streets but he never raises his head to look at the passing van, he just kind of pauses for a moment as if to acknowledge I drove by. There's nothing on the radio, just white noise so I shut it off. Now all I can hear is Raph's heavy breathing.

Once out of the city my heart seems to feel a little lighter, and the sir seems cooler out here. I let my mind wander back to when I rode out here with Casey and the wind was flying through my hair.

"How long." I hear Raph call from the back.

"Probably a few more hours." I say back wishing the radio would start working soon so I wouldn't have to sit through this awful silence ripping me apart.

Two hours later I roll the van to the side of the road and let my head fall forward onto the wheel. I feel Raph leaning up in the seat behind me trying to see why we stopped.

"You gotta be kidding me." He grumbles and punches the side of the van lightly.

In the road ahead of us is a block of fallen trees, too big to move even for Raphael. "Depending on how long this has been here, it might be the reason April and Don couldn't get to us." I say sighing. The reality of the situation is hitting me, but before I can say anything else Raph speaks up, an echo of my thoughts. "We're gonna have to walk."

Jumping out the back, I watch as Raph wraps Leo up in his blankets and wraps a pack around his right arm on his back. "It's at least twenty more miles to the farmhouse." I say looping another backpack through my arms.

"Then we'll walk until sundown."

"We can't take the road you know."

"Really." He says sarcastically lumbering off into the woods, I quickly follow behind thanking myself for choosing to wear rain boots today. September was a beautiful time of year but it also brought rain and with rain came mud and everywhere I stepped in these damned woods was covered in mud. I could hear Raph snickering as I grunted in rage as mud pulled at my boots, slowing my pace down dramatically. "Oh shut up." I mumble trying to balance among the roots of the trees now to avoid the mud.

* * *

As the sun began to set along the tops of the trees we were still walking. "Don't you think we should stop for the night?" I grumble practically ready to collapse. As if realizing for the first time since we started walking that it was starting to get dark, he set Leo down by the trunk of a nearby tree and wandered off into the woods. "Where are you going?" I huff sitting down by Leo, letting his head rest on my shoulder, my way of pretending Leo was awake and I wasn't really alone with his hothead brother.

"We're going to need a fire." I heard him say from a distance off.

Later that night a fire was blazing and I still had Leo's dead weight up against me. Just as I started to drift off into much needed sleep I heard Raphael.

"I don't know if I can go back." He said, eyes gazing into the fire.

"What? What are you talking about?" I say half aware.

"April, Don...Mikey..." He says shaking his head. "It's been too long."

"You're the one who wandered off, you didn't want to be a part of that family, remember?" I say instantly regretting it, I had no knowledge of how he would react to what I just said, but surprisingly his expression didn't even change.

"Yeah." He just says blankly pushing around the ashes of the fire with a stick. "You should get some sleep." I just nod and let my head fall back against the trunk of the tree.

* * *

...

"Alex?" I hear, and look to see Raph sitting in front of the fire, putting I out. "Raph? What are you doing?"

"We can't stay here, we gotta go, now!" He says in a hushed whisper. "What's going one?" I asked getting up quickly, feeling my heartbeat pick up.

"C'mon." He says grabbing my arm and dragging me off into the woods.

"Raph!" I whisper hitting his arm, quickly he lets go, noticing how strong of a grip he had on me. "I-I'm sorry." His eyes avert to the ground but he keeps moving, forcing me to keep up with him. For a while I don't question him I just follow silently until I run into a shell. "Shhh." I hear him hiss as I step back. "Raphael, what the hell is going on!" I hiss back.

Faster than I can blink he turns and locks his hands around my wrist pulling them to his chest. "You said we shoulda ran when we had the chance." He sighs pulling me closer until I can feel his breath on my neck. "We're running Alex." I don't say anything but I stare at him confusingly. "I know what you want, I can see it, you want an escape, so let me give you that."

"I want more than just an escape Raph. Whatever happened to us?"

He just glances down at me like he didn't hear what I said. "W-what are you talking about?" He says leaning in. "I thought I was pretty clear with us."

"You've been sending me mixed signals since I found you! You act like nothing ever happened between us..."

"Alex." He says daring to draw me even closer. "I want you." He whispers in my ear sending shivers down my spine.

"Lust isn't love." I whisper looking down at the grip he has on my wrists, it's not tight but I just can't believe he's actually touching me.

"You're so blind." He says looking into my eyes, suddenly his lips are on mine and I cant move, I can hardly even breathe it's so intoxicating to feel this way again. His grip on my wrists tightens and I let out a soft moan into his mouth. Slowly we both pull away and I see bright emerald eyes shining into mine.

"I've never stopped loving you." He says swiping his thumb across my cheek. I fall into his chest feeling my heart ready to beat right out of it's cage. "I never stopped either." I whisper into his chest, watching the sun rise into the tree tops.

"Alex?" He whispers. "We gotta go." and suddenly he's shaking me, shaking me out of sleep and back into reality where nothing I ever want to happen, happens. My eyes open slowly, already feeling the disappointment my dreams left behind. In front of me is Raph, and his face is blank, guard back up. "Let's get a move on sleeping beauty." He says with on last shake.

As I walk along behind Raph I try and avoid all the mud again, it's worse today since the early morning dew still hasn't evaporated. It's windy today and my hair is already in tangles and all over my face, I want to scream I'm ready to go right over the edge. The fact was Raphael wasn't the same anymore, Leo wasn't the same anymore and neither were Don and April. Mikey still held thin thread of the life I once knew but even he was breaking away. It wasn't just that though, I spent two years with the foot clan, they became my family and now I can't go back because my past has crawled back up into my life. I missed Karai, and my crew. My clan brothers and sisters...Truth was the clan had became more of a family to me than the turtles ever were, but now I had given up the people I loved, for the people I once loved. Not saying I didn't love them anymore, I just wished there wasn't so much turmoil and brokenness in their lives.

A few hours later I was dragged out of my thoughts by a noise a little farther up in the woods. "What was that?" I whisper to Raph who also noticed the noise. He just shrugs his shoulder and moves on more quietly now. I jog ahead of his taking out my sword, carefully scouting out our path. The noise was loud enough to be a threat.

The further I traveled, the louder the noise got. As I approached the noise I slipped behind the coverage of a tree trunk and listened. I could hear mumbling and a frustrated sigh, it was a person. As I inched my way around the tree a mist of water splashed my face and I drew back wiping it off with a confused look. "What the hell?" I mumble under my breath. I shuffle back along the tree just to face someone I hadn't expected to see, actually the last person I expected to see.

"Alex?" hear him call out and I come out the rest of the way from behind the safety of the tree. "What are you doing way out here Ol?" From the looks of him he's been trying to use his powers, there was a semi-burned trunk five feet away from him now dowsed in water. "Where's your mom?" I ask stepping closer to the tiny turtle.

"I was fighting with Wren and mommy yelled at me, so I came out here." He said so casually, looking at me like I was the one who shouldn't be out here. Which was true, I shouldn't be out in these woods either. "So this is where you go when you get mad?" I ask, assuming because I notice a lot more blackened tree trunks than before. He just nods his head, this could be dangerous if not controlled properly, but Don and April didn't really know how to handle someone with this much power. They could hardly understand my gifts when I first showed them, now they've gone and tried to raise a super mutant...this could turn out really bad.

I walk over to the toddler and kneel down in front of him wondering what's going on in that mind of his. He didn't know how to control his emotions, his emotions are the thing that really kindled his gifts, like mine, and luckily my Uncle raised me to understand my powers, he taught me to control them. "You have to be careful with your gift Oliver." I say resting a hand on his shoulder, bringing his striking blue eyes up to meet mine. "You have to learn to control them." I sigh opening my palm as a ball of water formed there. "You see this water?" He nods. "could this ball of water hurt someone?" I ask swirling it around in my palm. "NO it's just water." He says like he's the smartest little kid in the world. He gets it from Don.

I push the ball of water up into the air making it turn into many smaller balls, all floating over our heads, then with the slightest movement of my hand the water turns to shards of ice pointed down around us and I hear a gasp from the tiny tot. "Could this hurt someone?" I whisper, taking an icicle in my hand. Oliver nods his head trying to piece together what I was trying to show him. "Now watch what happens when I let my emotions take over." I say real low, doing my best to stir up the worst form of anger inside of me. Suddenly the icicles grew two times their original size and turned to face a nearby tree, they fidgeted in the air a second before they took of, some of them broke as they hit he trunk, others lodged themselves into the wood. Others flew off course and landed in stray areas. I took a deep breath and looked back to Oliver who looked like he understood now. "If you let them, emotions will consume you, eat you alive, and you wont be able to control your gift. One day if you're not careful you could seriously hurt the people around you." He just nodded and turned his head to the ground.

I sighed, my Uncle had taught me day after day how to use my powers. Who would teach little Oliver. "I'm not asking you to keep everything bottled up, you just need to learn to control how you feel before your powers consume you, okay?." I say lifting his head up to meet mine. "Okay Alex." He says. "I'll try my hardest." He says with a big smile. "Alright kid, let's get you back to your mom." I say letting him crawl up in my shoulders laughing. As I turned I realized I had an audience.

Out in the open, standing ten feet behind me the entire time was Raph, staring at me with that stupid smirk of his. "Let's go." He says still smirking but this time it's different, there's a small spark in his eyes as he watches me with Oliver laughing on my shoulders. As Oliver notices the larger turtle carrying another large turtle his laughter dies down and he clings to me a little tighter.

"What's up little man?" Raph says smiling at the little version of himself. "Uncle Raph?" The boy asks.

"Yeah, it's me kid, now lets get you home."

The walk to the house was shorter than I had expected and to my surprise April was outside sitting in her rocking chair on the porch. As I came out of the woods first she seemed to notice me and jumped right up, starting to come to the edge of the porch stairs, but as the figure behind me came out from the brush her pace slowed and she grasped the rail of the porch firmly. She gave me a small smile as I got closer and called for Don. Never once did she look at Raph.

I didn't know what I expected, this could go fine, or it could turn into a bloodbath any moment. I prayed that Leo's health could bring everyone back together for the time being though.

"Let's get inside." She says as she noticed that rain had began to fall. "Donnie!"

"Are you sure this was a good idea?" Raph whispers to me, I just give him the 'I have no idea' look and follow April inside, behind me follows Raph with Leo. As we get inside to my dismay everyone has already congregated in the living room, with a perfect view of the doorway. Casey, Mikey, Don, Wren...They all turned as the wind slammed the door shut behind Raph and I shuffled myself in front of him as best as possible, trying to guard him for what could happen next.

It was like they couldn't even see me, well except for Wren who sprang from the couch and leeched right onto my legs. I gently patted her head, trying to listen to what she was rambling on about but all I could hear was a distant ringing in my ears. Mikey was the first to actually acknowledge I had actually just walked through the door with who he thought.

"Raphael?" He asked, his voice so soft and low I could barely hear. He looked so torn apart, so hurt, his eyes weren't far from letting loose a few stray tears. I don't know who I felt worse for, Raph or Mikey...

"Raph..." He whispered again standing up this time. Now we would find out just how much forgiveness was worth.

* * *

Sorry I had to end a chapter like this but I'm trying to slit the story up equally between chapters. Ugh, I don't know guys, this story is getting harder to write every time but I have some ideas for upcoming chapters I hope you'll like. Anyways, hope this chapter was okay, let me know what you think and thank you for those who offered to help out with the story. I appreciate the offer immensely but I want to try and finish this one up on my own(: Although if it gets any rougher from here on out I may be asking for your help. Thank you for everyone who has stuck this story out, I know it can get frustrating but trust me, it's 100x more frustrating for me. Love you guys though, and I promise I wont abandon this story It may just keep getting longer for the chapters to come out.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! This chapter kind of took me a while to write, it included going back through and re-doing scenes over and over again until I felt they had come out alright. Hope you guys enjoy! And please, I love reading your guys reviews so leave a bunch. (: **

**Without further adieu, the chapter you've been waiting for.**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen.

That entire night I sat by the kitchen table with Don helping him check over Leo's wounds. "His heartbeat is erratic, I can try to bring it down but I'm not sure what a safe dose would be." He sighed cupping his forehead in his hand leaning back on the table. "The only thing safe for him right now is to just rest and treat his wounds...I-I don't know what else to do..." I heard him grumble. "We're both stuck in the same place then Donnie." I said staring blankly into the empty fireplace, my eyes never shifting over to Don who I sensed had turned his attention to me, flipping through his notes once more just for effect.

The truth was I couldn't stop replaying what had happened earlier. Stepping though the doorway I knew there was no turning back but I couldn't help but wish we had walked in at a better time. I really put Raphael out of his comfort zone and I was a little more relieved he had settled down upstairs and was fast asleep by now. Still I couldn't get Mikey's face out of my head. So broken, Mikey, still so young. Shortly after we had arrived he had walked up to Raph with tears welling in his eyes, just shaking his head. "I tried to find you." He said so quietly, voice shaky. "I know Mike, I know." Raph said staring back with those eyes, so emotionless, so tired of everything. It was then I was pulled off into the other room as Don nodded to his brother, letting Leo slip into his arms. Before I was completely out of the room I managed to catch a glance back at Casey who was just sitting on the couch, never getting up, never saying anything. Just staring and thinking.

Now everyone was sleeping. Except me and Don who had yet to say a word about Raph. Grabbing a mug of fresh coffee I handed it to Don who needed it more than me. I sat myself down in a chair by Leo's side wrapping my hand around his letting my head rest on the table. I caught Don glance over at our intertwined hands a few time as if contemplating something. "I should tell you something Don." I said remembering the incident in the woods. "Oliver, he needs guidance or his gifts will eat him alive." I watches as his expression turned from tired to beaten in a matter of seconds.

"I'm trying. It's just I've studied your gifts for a few years now, I thought I'd be able to keep his under control but he gets angry and his hands turn to flames, or he'll cry and the shudders will go nuts from the winds he's conjured up." He said sighing again taking a long sip of his coffee, you could tell he was tired, more than just tired, exhausted from life, from everything. Now with Leo lying on his kitchen table, half alive, he looked ready to give up. With bags under his auburn eyes he looked at me. "April and I, we don't know what to do anymore. Look Alex, we really made a mistake messing around with your DNA, I'm so sorry..."

I scooted over to him, resting an equally tired hand over his. "Donnie, It's okay. I just don't want Oliver to be uncontrollable. I had someone there for me everyday teaching me how to use my gifts. That's what Oliver needs."

There was a moment of silence again before he spoke, looking first to Leo then to me. "I know you wont be here for the rest of his life but for the time being I was hoping you might be able to be that person he needs right now." He looked up at me with pleading eyes. "Just for a short time each day until he understands...please."

"Don, Don...stop. I'll happily teach him what I can." I said getting up to go scavenge the fridge for any leftovers from dinner. Surprisingly we had all eaten in separate rooms. Me sitting with Casey and April and Raph sitting quietly with Oliver and Mikey on the stairs, Wren had helped her father attend to Leo.

I found a small tupperware container filled with ziti and popped it in the microwave. After few seconds I took it out scooping some out on a plate for Don and sat down across the table from him, looking out at him over Leo's plastron. "What was he like when you found him." He said his eyelids trying to stay open, taking another sip of his coffee. "I don't know I wasn-" I started but was stopped by Don shaking his head.

"I wasn't talking about Leo." He said sighing. I just looked at him confused but I knew what he meant. I knew someone would ask, they'd want to know how I got him to come a long with me so easily, how I even found him.

"He was...he didn't want to believe I was alive." I said recalling that night, remembering how he didn't even want me near him. "It's like he doesn't even know me anymore Don. I don't know what to do."

"He's guarding himself. He has been alone for nearly two years." He said looking at me with sympathy, Don and Raph were never that close but they're still brothers, I could tell by his eyes that Don missed him.

"It would be easier if we were never a thing. He doesn't feel emotions anymore, he doesn't love me like he used to."

"Who said he ever stopped." Don said with a small smirk and I just rolled my eyes. "Trust me one thing hasn't changed over the years and it's the way he looks at you."

"Don, please." I said fanning my face with my free hand. Leaning back in the chair I focused my gaze on Leo's hand, I was still holding it but I could've swore I felt him tighten his grip.

"You'll see, especially when there's other competition around now."

"What are you talking about?" I asked leaning into the conversation.

"All Casey has talked about since summer is you." He said, his eyes told me the truth. "Take it how you want it but since April's already my mate, he hasn't had anyone to flirt with." He said with a light laugh. "I really hope he doesn't get too bored and start going for Mikey." At this I let out a small chuckle and averted my gaze back to Leo's hand, this time I knew the grip had tightened.

"Don, Leo's getting a good grip on me, should he be doing that? I thought he was unconscious."

"Here, let me check the monitor." He said going over to his little piece of tech equipment that was hooked up to Leo. With furrowed eyebrows he looked back to me and held the device up to show me the blinking green light on the top of the screen. "What's that mean?"

"It means he's waking up."

* * *

"April!" I screamed down the hallways running to her door. Before I could open it she got there first making me jump as the door swung open and I came face to face with her. With bags under her eyes she just looked at me. "Already?" She asked and we took off down the stairs together.

You could hear the struggle from the living room, luckily I had run at the first sign of body movement knowing we needed April. When we came to a halt in the kitchen I was glad Mikey had taken Wren and Oliver out into the barn to go "play with the chickens" even though it was three a.m. The kitchen table jerked violently and I saw a mix of hands trying to hold the source of the movement down. Grunts and muffled yelps rang in my ears as I watched Raph helping Casey hold down an arm. A moment of happiness came over me, they were working together. Then I remembered why. As Donnie moved out of the way I got glimpse of the person I used to fall asleep next to during the past month. The one I went back to the city for... His eyes were blood red, and the veins in his arms and neck bursting.

I held onto April, never had I ever witnessed something so disturbing, something to foreign to me. Someone I had known so closely, all of us had known now destroyed. There was only one way to get him back, a miracle April said. As his old wounds and scars tore open from the movement I grasped April tighter.

April squeezed my arm tightly and walked over to the head of the table where Leo's head thrashed back and forth. In the chaos I caught Raphael's eye and I knew he was scared this time. His guard was down, shattered by the condition of his brother and the seriousness of the situation. I watched silently as April placed her fingers to Leo's temple and held them there as he thrashed violently around for a few seconds more until his body fell limp once more and his breathing calmed down. Everyone took a deep breath as they let go of his arms and legs, looking to April, giving her silent 'thank you's' as they sat themselves down in the chairs pushed out around the table.

"I managed to calm his mind, telling him who he was with..." She said only looking at me as Don walked around behind her checking his vitals again. "What now... he's completely insane." Casey said resting his head in his hands.

"This part is where April comes in." Don said checking Leo's heartbeat looking over to April to explain what would happen next.

"I can get through to him now that he's physically near me. I can calm his mind, slowly working to put the pieces of his shattered thoughts together again." She sighed swiping a bead of sweat from Leo's forehead with her thumb. "It could take a few days to a few weeks."

I just stood there, palms sweating, nodding my head trying to understand how important this was, but I couldn't I had been up since dawn the day before and I felt lightheaded and I'm pretty sure I looked physically sick too from what I had just seen. I didn't hear the rest of the conversation, my ears had begun ringing and I was only ripped from my trance as I felt a hand tighten around my arm dragging me away.

"You look sick Al, you can take my bed tonight."

"No Case, it's fine I should really stay here-"

"It's okay, I promise to stay on the floor." He said smirking at me with tired eyes, he was ready to pass out too. I tried climbing the stairs but my legs grew weak ad I fumbled a bit, falling forward onto my palms as I felt two strong but tired arms try to hinder my fall. I looked up to see Casey smirking. "What would you do without me Al." And as he said that I smirked back, feeling my body shut down on itself without my permission first as it had so many times before when I used to run on two hours of sleep.

The sensation of being carried overwhelmed me and drew me even deeper into sleep. My body was laid down on a soft bed and I sunk right in, feeling a light blanket draped over me after a few pillows were robbed from the bed and dropped onto the ground. As I adjusted myself I allowed my eyes to open up a crack to see my surroundings, Casey was on the ground beside the bed and in the doorway a figure lurked. Tall, muscular, everything that I once knew all spun up together in a single being, then he just walked off. Like he always did, and I closed my eyes again and let myself go. Just like that I was sucked off into sleep.

...

_I looked at him through tired eyes. "How do I get you back Leo?" I asked sitting up in Casey's bed. He sat on the end, his back leaning against a wooden post looking down at Casey with a smirk. "Just relax, I'll see you soon."_

_"What do you mean?" I asked becoming curious as to how this would work..._

_"Since I woke up I'll spend a few days under Don's watch, but April will be able to bring me back to sanity. She can get in my head, fix what's been broken.." He sighed looking to me with his ocean blue eyes. "I'm I there somewhere Al." _

_I just smiled at him, hoping, wishing his words would be true. April said that a little psychic push should get his thoughts back on track, she'd said she would stay with Don for a while working on getting into his mind. I just wanted him back...a few moments later the sun started to peek through the window and when I looked back to Leo he was gone. "See you soon Leo... I whispered to myself as I felt my body begin its routine of waking up. _

_..._

"Hey there sleeping beaut." Casey said sitting on the edge of his bed as I stirred. "Morning..." I mumbled turning back over under the blankets, my body never felt refreshed in the mornings, it needed an extra few minutes to adjust to waking up.

"About that, it's actually been a fe-." He said smirking as I jolted up out of bed realizing the clock on the nightstand read two p.m my head instantly started to ache and I groaned in pain narrowing my eyes in at Casey.

"Casey!" I yelled. "You were supposed to wake me up as soon as everyone else got up!" I said hurrying to the doorway not even caring how I looked. Suddenly I felt his hand wrap around my arm stopping me. "You never let me finish. You've been asleep for the past two days, you should probably catch a shower and get a pair of fresh clothes before you go downstairs." He chuckled pushing me towards the bathroom. "You're looking pretty rough." He said with a final push shutting the door behind me to the bathroom. The white tiles reflected the sun into my eyes and I had to wait a few minutes before I could figure out what I was actually doing. I mumbled something under my breath about Casey and quickly moved into the shower.

Rinsing my body off I was in awe of how much dirt had washed off, I seemed to be plastered in it for some reason. On the shelf beside me I picked up the body wash Casey must've used, because it smelled like guys. Exiting the shower I toweled down quickly throwing on whatever Casey had left for me on the counter which was surprise, surprise, April's old clothes. "Two days?" I mumbled. "Bull..." I said picking up the clothes. It wasn't surprising though, sometimes when my body had felt I had overworked it far passed it's boundaries it would shut me down for a half-week.

I threw on the red flannel and holey jeans and bolted out of the room after a quick glance in the mirror. I was tan from the summer sun but the sleepless nights and constant running had put small, dark bags under my long lashes. My freckles, darkened also from sunlight, danced crazily across my nose and out until the very edges of my face. My hair, was long and had lightened some but was still mousey brown. It usually curled when dry but with my hair swampy wet it clung to the sides of my face and neck in heaps, hanging straight down.

I jolted down the stairs into the hallway that lead to the kitchen. Standing there, blocking my way was Raphael. "Alex." He said in almost a whisper. "What? What's going on?" I asked trying to figure out why everyone's faces were so smug. Over Raph's shoulder April threw me a small grin, I returned it with a confused stare. I felt Raph's hand grab my shoulder and tug me closer. The physical contact made me shudder as I hadn't felt it on so long, he seemed to notice and retracted his hands within seconds. His face was not smug, he looked defeated, tired and helpless. "He-" Raph stuttered looking over his shoulder. "He's asking for you..." He said finally stepping out of my way.

More cautious now, I gave Raph a confused, helpless look to which he only ignored and turned to face the kitchen. I could hear a mix of conversation with small giggles who I assumed came from the toddlers. I must've missed a lot.

As I got around Raph I was in the crowed kitchen area looking for what drew me here, what called me to this spot. My answer was sitting up on the table behind Donnie, staring at me. He was a skinny thing, a small trace of his once built body remained but for the most part he looked like he may have just as well escaped death. His eyes struck me like lightning as I felt them run over my skin, figuring me out, making sue I was who I claimed to be. I felt my breath catch in my throat, a knot forming in it's place. I felt my body stop moving, blood stop flowing. I thought I could handle this but I can't.

The longer I stood there looking at him, I felt more eyes on me than before. The kitchen had become quiet and I swore I could've hear my own heartbeat, pumping erratically out of it's cage.

"L-Leo..." I choked out trying my best to face him full on. Was he dangerous? What had I missed for the past two days...

Donnie tried to prod him with more iv's but he shook them off. "Don, I'm fine thank you." He said his voice gravely as he placed a hand on his brothers shoulder. At his voice I could've broken down but I was to frozen in my place. "Oh my god." I whispered only loud enough for me ears.

"It's really you..." He whispered sliding off the table with the help of Mikey who was at his side in a flash. Everyone's mood seemed to be lifted that their leader was fine and no longer in a mentally sick state. Even as he slowly moved over to me I still stood there, waiting for some force of nature to move me, but I was cemented into the wooded floor. When he was just a foot away from me I noticed the scars that plagued his body, the cuts and bruises that shone all kinds of colors over his light green skin. He reached out, arm frail and stiff. He was just getting used to moving around again.

When his fingers grazed my skin, my eyes flew shut on contact, the blood rushing back through my body. "Leo." I whispered.

He leaned down next to my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine. "Alex...you're alive..." He said cupping the side of my face in his large hands. "Thank you, for never giving up..." He choked out slowly wrapping me up in his frail arms, I laced my arms up around his neck hoping he'd never let go, ever again, hoping everything would make a full turn from here on out but as I watched from the corner of my eye I knew things might never be the same. Raphael locked eyes with mine and they called out to me, like a moth to flame.

A glint of emerald caught my eye under the blood red cloth, nostalgia getting the best of me. As I let go of Leo I watched Raphael walk away, up the stairs to lock himself away in his room like he always did when Leo was around when we were younger. When Leo tried to win me over first... I watched the shadow cast out from his large body disappear with him and I couldn't help but feel like he had taken every last ounce of hope along with him too.

"Not to ruin this heart-wrenching moment..." Mikey said standing next to Don who was behind Leo and I. "But Alex, why do you smell like Casey?" He said with a smirk lifting his eyebrows. His statement causing an eruption of laughter from the family. Especially Wren who had managed to hook herself onto my leg once more.

As I laughed with them I couldn't help but notice how much we had all really changed. I swept over all the faces in the room landing on Leo's last who was looking intently into my eyes. "Yeah Leo?" I asked just loud enough for him to hear.

"Nothing, I guess I just missed the view." He whispered back as he smiled at me and turned to return to Don who was ready with another iv. I just let out a small laugh and watched everyone flocked back to him.

I smirked as I realized ever after all he had been through he hadn't changed one bit.

I wish I could say the same for Raphael.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen.

Oldies play loudly from the barn in the background as I sit swaying on the porch swing. It's October and the leaves are turning to beautiful shades of red and orange, while the breeze is slightly cooler than I would've hoped for. I've been here at the farmhouse for a while now, wishing that I could go back to years ago when I could just casually talk with Raph, or laugh with Mikey until my sides hurt. Nothing was the same, not even a shred of it, the only thing that clung to the family from the past was the tattered cloth around their eyes, now even Donnie had given that up, passing it on to Oliver who took almost no interest in it.

Swaying with me with her head on my lap was Wren, her eyes were shut, probably off dreaming in another land away from this broken house, full of broken people. She looked so innocent, so pure, I wish she could grow up somewhere away from all the hurt, and turmoil. I hear an argument break out in the barn between Donnie and Casey, I pretend not to listen but even over the loud music I hear the anger, built up rage that hasn't been let out for a while. Everyone at the farmhouse kept everything bottled up.

I run my fingers along Wren's bald head, down to her freckled cheeks, her mouth pulls up on both sides at the touch but she doesn't wake, making me wish we could trade places. Earlier this morning I woke to find Oliver waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, He wore me out so much within the first hour of training him that I had to call it a day and retire to the porch swing. I've been sitting here lazily in a daze ever since, daydreaming about my very own prince charming coming to take me away on his noble steed.

I tune out my thoughts for a moment, listening to everything around me. Mikey's show can be heard through the screen door, he's been in there since I woke up, he must be in a daze too, unsure of what to do next. Of course the oldies have been blasting for the past hour and a half, but when I listen closely I can hear the birds singing in the woods, trying to block out the noise of the radio too. Eventually Casey exits the barn with a grave look on his face, as always. I feel bad for Case in a way, we're both in the same boat, we don't fit in here like we used to.

"Hey." I say gently, I knew how Don could be, especially towards Casey. He just looks at me before he grabs for the screen door. "Hey..." he manages back before he disappears inside the house to retire to his room for the day like usual.

I wish mater splinter was here, he would be able to pull everyone back together. With that thought in my head I gently wrap Wren up in my arms and kick the door open with my foot, she's gotten heavy but I think I can make it to her room safely. As I tuck her away Master Splinter lingers in the back of my mind and I before I know it I'm half-way into the woods trying to remember the path to the old pond.

I round a corner, then another my heart beating faster and faster. I slow to a stop at the base of a rather large Willow tree, it's branches looming out and over the pond where a lone morning dove sits quietly.

As I found my way to the large stone on the other end of the pond I noticed I was not the only one with the idea to venture out here today. There at the base of the rock sat Leonardo with his head down, the sight was familiar, he was meditating.

He must've sensed my presence because his head turned slightly over his shoulder to acknowledge me. "I never even got to say goodbye." Was all he said. "I can feel his presence with me though, moving all around here. "

"I can feel him too. April said this was his favorite spot to come and meditate..." I said not really sure where the conversation would lead. I hadn't spoken to Leo in over two years.

He let out a long sigh, getting up from the grassy ground beneath him. His fingertips lingered over the engravings before he turned to face me full on. "What happens now Alex." He says shaking his head. "We're all together again like sensei would've wanted but we're miles apart."

"Everyone's just broken Leo. I don't know what to tell you. It all went downhill after the invasion I guess."

"I guess." He mumbled sighing again. "Let's see if you can still fight like you used to though." He said with a smirk, his demeanor changing. "Follow me."

* * *

"Leo are you sure?" I questioned watching my step as I crept around the plethora of trees. He was hiding somewhere, waiting to attack. "You haven't fought in a while yourself, we should be careful..." In the distant I heard him chuckling lightly. "You scared?" He mused.

As I passed another large tree a flash of green caught my eye before a blade came inches from my face, my only protection, the bo-staff which kept the sword at a distance as Leo emerged from behind the tree. I pushed the blade off and twirled the staff in my hands. "I'm not sure about this Leo."

"Alex, relax." He said getting into his stance once more. I mirrored his figure, dodging as he charged me, I repeatedly dodged him until I was forced to attack him back as he found away behind me, knocking me to the ground. "Not as quick as you used to be." He said, his voice sounded distant now, and his eyes turned cold. As I found my way back to standing position I lightly laughed. "I haven't trained in a while." I said, taking my eyes off him thinking our spar was over. Oh how wrong was I.

With a sudden jolt, I felt my body falling back to the earth. "What the hell Leo?!" I yelled as his body fell with mine, as I tried to get up his legs straddled my hips forcing me to stay down. In that moment I should've never looked up, I wished my vision would've stayed clouded as my head hit the hard earth, because when they cleared I saw Leo, and for the first time in a while I was truly terrified. His eyes looked right through me, as if I were nothing more than another speck of dirt on the cold hard ground. "Leo?" I asked my voice wavering slightly. I tried raising my neck but that was soon stopped by his large hand, pinning the upper part of my body to the ground, his fingers like stakes keeping me secure. As his eyes grew darker the grip around my neck felt tighter and the jagged breathing I had heard coming from Leo the night he first woke was back, it was no longer Leo I was in the woods with.

His Katana appeared in his other hand, held up above my forehead...a small tear formed in my eye as I never imagined I would die at the hands of a former best friend. My bo-staff had been knocked from my grip long ago, it lay sadly just five feet away, watching silently. A small growl ripped from Leo's throat as the blade came full force down into my head. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the blow, but it never came, the pressure around my throat lightened and when I slowly opened my eyes I realized Leo was no longer on top of me.

Noises erupted from nearby and when I limped over to behind the tree I realized Leo had not willed himself from me, he was ripped from me, by his brother. Raphael had him now by the throat pinned up against a tree, the distant glint still lingering in Leo's eyes. Blow after blow landed precisely on Leo as his brother ripped into him, leaving bruises and opened wounds. As well as he could Leo fought back, clawing blindly at his attacker. By the time I had found my voice Leo was unconscious and Raphael stood with his back to me, breathing heavily like he had just faced his worst fear.

"Raph." I choked out, my words smothered in tears as I broke down, trying to reach him my ankle gave way and I fell once more. Within seconds large arms were wrapping around my beaten body as I felt myself pulled to his plastron. "Alex." He whispered, his voice choked. "What happened?" He asked looking down at me with his emerald eyes.

"We...we were sparring and he was fine." I managed to get out still contemplating what could've happened if Raphael had not been around. "Then he just snapped..." I trailed of my gaze tracing from Leo, to Raphael. "Why." Was all I could get out before I started to feel the knot forming in my throat once more, this time I couldn't hold back, hot tears streamed down my face and Leo's limp body became a blur in the distance.

Raphael said nothing, instead his eyes fixed on mine and he helplessly wiped the tears away from my cheeks. "It's getting late." he said as he rose from the ground with me in his arm still. "I'll send Don and Case for Leo." I sobbed silently into his plastron as I watched Leo's body across the hard earth as Raphael strode away with me clinging to him, only minutes away from an emotional breakdown. I had faced dangerous criminals, mutants, even death, but the situation that had brought me to tears out of fear had been a blade to my head by one of the people I thought I knew better than anyone. Leonardo.

"It's going to be okay." Raph said, searching his brain for any generic statement to try and calm my shaking body down. He knew nothing would ever be okay as well as I did.

As we reached the porch Casey jumped up from the rocking chairs at the sight on my small body enveloped in Raph's massive arms, clinging to him like a lifeline. "What happened?!" He shouted jumping down the steps. Raphael just shook his head. "Leo." Was all he said and Casey had managed to figure out what had happened with that one small word. "I'll get Donnie." He said holding open the door to allow Raph to go inside the house without putting me down.

The climb to my room was silent, and when we reached the door I was sure he would let me go there but he nudged the door open with his foot, entering my room still silent, but with newfound hope. My tears ran in small streams now as he found his way to my bed through the light of the moon. I had not realized just how long I was in the woods with Leo. As he laid me down on my bed he smirked a little when he had to physically detach myself from him, I couldn't let go just yet and my heart thumped a little harder in my chest as his fingers lingered around my wrists as if he had just come to the realization he had carried me about a half mile through the woods and was now putting me to bed. I watched as he began to walk away, through his eyes I watched him putting back up the walls, never to truly let anyone in again. "Wait" I choked on my own tears as he reached the doorway. I was sitting up now. "yeah?" He said softly not yet turning back to me.

"Please...don't leave." I whimpered, voice quivering. I looked down at my sill shaking hands, ashamed I had let myself appear so weak in his presence. I shut my yes as I heard the door swing shut as I was sure he had left the room. Just the thought of being alone again brought me back to tears as I began to whimper to myself. "Don't leave." I whispered again to no one in particular, feeling my hot tears dripping down into my palm.

"I'm never leaving." I heard a whisper from beside me, as my eyes fluttered open I saw him, standing beside me looking down at me with sad eyes. I couldn't find any words to say so I just tried my hand at wiping my tears away as fast as possible. My hand was stopped as large fingers wrapped around my wrist once more, holding them locked in place. With his other hand Raphael started to wipe my tears away with his thumb, my eyes fluttered shut at the touch and I knew a small smirk had formed on his face. "You should get some sleep. You've had a long day." He whispered softly in my ear. "Only if you stay." I spoke back, the smirk on his face growing more evident.

Surprisingly he nodded, sitting on the bed with his shell up against the wall. "We're sure to hear about this in the morning." He said as I nestled myself under the covers. "It's not like we haven't shared a room before Raph." I whispered teasingly. Just with his presence there I felt my body begin to calm down, easing itself into sleep, somehow it knew no harm would come to me with him by my side, and I smiled at the fact.

I rolled under the covers to face the wall, As I moved my leg managed to find Raphael's and at the touch I felt him stiffen, then relax. "Can't fall asleep?" He whispered teasingly. I huffed and sat up next to him by the wall "Not after what happened." I said shaking at the memory that only occurred a few hours ago.

"Can you show me a memory?" He asked out of nowhere, I turned to face him with a confused look present on my face. "that night on the balcony, you showed me something just by touching me." He said laughing lightly at my look. "I know... it's a stupid question." He turned to me smirking. "It's not stupid." I said chuckling back. "What do you wanna see?" I asked, happy someone had finally asked, I had grown tired of not using my gifts in awhile, only to train with Oliver.

For a moment he was silent, thinking, contemplating until he turned to me and looked down at my hands. "Show me something from the old lair." He said. I nodded and turned my body to face his without putting me in a compromising position. "Ready?" I whispered, he just nodded back before I lifted my hand to his cheek and his eyes fluttered shut with mine. The keyword lingered in my mind for a while before scenes from my old life started to come back to me.

_I was transported back to the old lair, in the dojo Donnie and Leo sparred and I sat with Mikey and Raph who were exchanging bets on who would win. With the memory projecting from the doorway I could see myself joking with Raph, as we exchanged insults and he crossed his arms over his chest giving me the 'what are you gonna do about it' look. Raphael smirks and I playfully punch his arm, the memory fades to the living room. I am draped over Raph's lap, laughing as Mikey water balloon's Don in the back of the head. Raph's reading a comic but looks down at me while I'm laughing watching his brothers, the smile on his face growing as I double over in his lap. _

_The memory shifts again, this time we're on the rooftops and the sun is going down over the skyscrapers. I have my hands on my nodachi and Raph lunges at me with his sias, we're fighting and he goes too far pushing me down with so much force I slide across the hard cement, wincing at the new pain. Before I blink he's there by my side, pulling me to him, apologizing for everything he's ever done to hurt me, and how his temper always gets the best of him. He says he wished he weren't so stupid and impulsive and we walk back to the lair, me on his arm as I limp slightly. _

_Once more the memory shifts and this time it's in our old room together. I was pulled into his lap, held up my his muscular arms. He says something to me with a smirk and I watch myself lean into him allowing our lips to meet, when he pulls away his face is morose, and he tells me he doesn't want to lose me when the invasion comes. He says I shouldn't go with them, I should stay safe. I nestle my head into the crook of his neck contemplating the invasion, when I pull back I watch myself utter those three little words I thought I would never hear again. I love you. He then looked at me with bright green eyes, resting his forehead on mine. I love you too. The words fade out as the memory makes yet another shift, this time I know what it's going to show us. _

_I'm standing on a rooftop with Mikey, looking down into the streets, into those emerald green eyes like I always have, out of habit I get lost in his vast orbs that seem more clouded than usual. Before they disappear from my sight a single tear dares to escape my eye and I mouth the words I love you for the final time. In the distance the invasion is taking place and I run in the direction of the danger with Mikey. _

The memory fades to black before I can pull my hand away.

"Raph, I-" I start to say before his eyes open as the presence of my palm on his face is no longer there, his eyes are dejected and I mentally slap myself for not filtering what I showed him, although I had no idea what he would see anyways. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, done this." I said my voice trailing off as I move to slip back under the safety of the covers.

"Alex." I hear him whisper and my heart feels like it just shattered in my chest. I look him in the eyes for the first time and all I can see is pain mixed with another emotion I cant pick out. I feel his hand wrap around my arm, pulling me back to him, up onto his lap. "Raph." I whisper, wondering what he's thinking. "I'm sorry for everything." He whispers back, his voice soft. "Me too." I lull back wishing I had the courage to run my hands along his biceps like I once had, wishing I could tell him how felt about him all over again.

I'm ripped from my train of thought as I'm pulled in and my lips meet his. My heart beats erratically in my chest and, I can no longer remember why I'm in my room with Raphael. His lips taste like the ramen Mikey made for dinner, and I get lost in my own thoughts as my fingers find their way to his body, tracing over his plastron, I let my hands slide over the new cracks and scratches, as well as the old one, the familiar ones. My arms find their way to the back of his neck, as his hands slide down my torso, resting at my hips.

We both pull away, needing air. "Alex." He says his voice sounding out of breath. "I'm so sorr-..." I cut him off as my arms wrap around him and I pull myself into his plastron. The minute I feel his arms around me I feel a knot at the back of my throat and a few stray tears escape my eyes. "No, it's okay." I choke out. "trust me." I whisper with a soft laugh. As I pull my face back up to his I find a small smirk on his face. "What?" I whisper softly.

His eyes look into mine and he sighs. I nudge him this time. "What?" I asked again.

"I never thought in a million years I'd be able to do that again." He said lightly with a grin. I smirk back running my thumb across his cheek.

I had little hope before that any spark still existed in the red banded turtles heart, but I was so wrong. Over the yeas the fire never died, only growing stronger by the day, to give up on him now would be a tragedy. I realized I had needed him like I needed oxygen to breathe. It was made clear that whatever we had before the invasion still held up, even through my apparent death, and two years of waiting to be reunited.

I watched him fall asleep to the lull of the overhead fan as I nestled once more under the sheets of the bed. My protector still leaning up against the wall. Things would change now, hopefully. Though the image of Leo's darkened eyes still played in the back of my mind as I felt myself falling asleep also.

It seems that even the smallest spark had managed to keep aflame over the course of years, and tonight had sparked a wildfire in my heart. _A wildfire that I knew I wouldn't be able to control this time._

* * *

**Hey guys! It finally happened. You know what to do...I want lot's of feedback on this one. **

**Until next chapter (:**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

I woke up the next morning to the shuffling of bed sheets and a soft groan of exhaustion. I could already feel the smile plastered on my face, last nights memories running through my head reminding me I was not alone. I rolled over in the bed to face the wall, seeing the one who was supposed to be watching over me, asleep. His head was limp against the wall, his hands resting unmoving in his lap. Quiet snores drifted from his mouth as I pulled myself closer.

"Raph." I whispered in his ear, smirk pulling on my face. "Wake up..." One flick to the side of his head should've been enough to wake him, or so it used to be. Maybe over the years his "Ninja senses" had begun to deteriorate. He wasn't fifteen anymore and full of never ending energy, no he was an adult now, eighteen, close to nineteen.

He was dead to the world. Sighing I lifted myself off the bed and onto the cool wooden floors. As soon as the rush of the chill of morning hit my face I was brought back to what had happened yesterday. My mind brought me the haunting memory of Leo, seconds away from ending my life, seconds away from driving his katana through my skull. If it hadn't been for Raphael I would have been dead. I rubbed my side where fresh blue bruises had formed from Leo pining me to the ground. My body would never be clear from blemishes and bruises, even when they were gone I still had scars to remind me I would never have the "perfect" body. Honestly I didn't even care anymore.

Deciding to let my savior rest, I got dressed in my usual garb, distressed jeans and a flannel, and found my way downstairs. My body still ached from yesterday, but I brushed off the pain as best as I could. Walking down the hallway it was eerily silent, someone should've at least been up by now.

As fast as the thought came a tiny hand wrapped around my arm. Startling me I looked down to see my attacker, little Wren. "Good morning" I whispered, picking her up in my arms, for the size of a toddler she was getting big, or I was just getting weaker. "I wouldn't go down there if I were you." She said eyeing the stairs with caution.

"Why not?" I asked pausing before the first step down.

"Mommy is with Leo, he's not okay." She said, and though her words were vague I understood everything. Why it was so quiet, why Wren was upstairs all alone..."I have to go down there Wren." I said, letting her back down to the floor, "go to my room and stay with uncle Raph, okay?"

Before it registered what I had just let out of my mouth she shot me a look of curiosity before speaking again. "Why is uncle Raph in your room?" She asked with as much innocence as she could muster. I mentally slapped myself, there was no way she'd keep that one quiet. "Just go." I said shooing her away as she ran down the hall laughing, she knew.

Sighing I made my way down the stairs, if it was quiet upstairs it was a void down here. You couldn't even hear the birds chirping, there was no rustle of wind against the shudders. Stepping carefully around the corner to enter the kitchen I understood why.

April sat at the head of the long table, eyes closed, hands up against Leo's head. A dull pink light glowed from the spots where her hands so delicately rested on him, as did the air around her. I leaned against the large archway, scanning the room for anyone else. Donnie was in the corner on his laptop, probably monitoring both April and Leo, and Mikey was sitting at the foot of the table, watching the rise and fall of his brothers chest with saddened eyes.

None of them noticed me, but I watched on. The silence was peaceful, and under April's power Leo looked like his old self, not the twisted version of him in the woods. I heard a light exhale of breath and I looked over to see Casey locking eyes with me, he had been hiding the shadows before but now he stepped out into the light, ushering me over to him.

His face was blank, as if he never had a clue was emotion was. As he pulled me around to the living room though, I noticed the way he grabbed my wrist, the way his energy floated around him in a haze of unrest. Casey Jones was, for the first time in his life, at a crossroads. "Casey." I whispered sitting down next to him on the old couch. "What's going on?"

His breath wavered for a slight second before he started. "Raphael could've killed Leo, you know that right?" He said, letting his head fall unto his hands. "Yes, I know." I said back, accepting for the first time that Raphael would've killed Leo. The image of Leonardo unconscious on the ground sprang back into my head and I sighed, if he never got better what would we do? "But he didn't." I whispered.

"April's been at it all last night and this morning, trying to figure out what's still wrong inside his head. He was fine Alex, we talked just yesterday morning... He ate breakfast with us, he smiled, laughed... " Casey said, his voice growing weaker by the minute. It was clear he didn't know how to take the reality of the situation, he wanted to believe Leo couldn't had done what he did.

"He's sick Casey, it's going to take some time before he's normal again."

"It's not safe for you here anymore Al." He said dryly, looking at me for the first time. "As long as Leo is in the state he's in, you can't stay here. We can't afford to lose you again."

The weight of his words pulled down on me, so they had all come to the agreement I had to leave? No, This was my family now. "Casey, you guys are my family, where am I supposed to go?" I asked, I couldn't find the right emotion for this situation, it was a mix between anger, and sadness, yet understanding.

"My grandparents used to own a cabin up in the mountains. It's secluded and it should still be livable. That's where we're going." He said, waiting for a reaction.

"Wait, we?" I asked, just me and Casey? I don't know If I could live alone with Casey Jones. I rubbed my hands over my eyes, trying to decipher the whole situation.

"We had a talk last night, while you were asleep." The way he spoke, it was like he was tip toeing around his words. He had been the one selected to tell me this information, it was obvious now he didn't want to be the one to have to say any of this.

"What kind of talk?" I asked, eyeing his carefully.

"We decided to split up, April, Donnie, the kids and Mikey are staying here to take care of Leo."

That meant Casey, and Raph were going to the cabin with me, but the thought of having to leave behind April again tugged at my heart. "Why did this have to happen case." I asked, my voice a soft whisper as I leaned on his shoulder.

"I don't know." He whispered back. "But I wish it didn't have to come to this, splitting up again...this isn't how a family is supposed to work."

...

Packing your bags is supposed to be fun, it's a means of escaping to go on another adventure as a child, a vacation with your family to your favorite sandy beaches, or the neck craning sky scrapers of a famous city. This was no vacation, but it was an escape, an escape from Leonardo before the chance comes again for him to lose it.

"You almost ready?" Wren said poking her head inside the bathroom where I sat on the edge of the tub, staring into the empty duffel bag on the floor. "Nowhere even close Wren." I mumbled back. So I sat there and watched as Wren took up my duties for me, filling my bag with my clothes, my shampoo's and my tooth brush. The image of her packing my bag was enough to bring the ghost of a smile to my face.

"Thank you." I said pulling her up on my lap when she zipped my bag up for me. "You're welcome." She said with a huge smile. I should be the one comforting her, part of her family was leaving once again.

"Why don't you go see if Casey is ready." I said as she nodded and scooted off my lap, I smirked at the sound of her tiny footsteps running down the hall.

"Hey." A gruff voice rang from the doorway, my heart fluttered at the sound. "Hey." I said back, looking up to find Raph with a backpack already packed and ready to go. He had his helmet in one had and the keys to the bike in the other. Stepping into the bathroom he grabbed my duffel, feeling if it was packed and laced it up over his shoulder. "We're probably leaving soon." He said quietly.

Reluctantly I got up, feeling my way across the sick top to find the mirror. Looking in it I saw the same old mousey brown hair, and hazel eyes. My freckles were fading away from the lack of sunlight, but my summer tan still lingered. I thought back to all of the times I used to wake up in the morning at the hospital, and look in the mirror at my patrol garb, I used to be a foot ninja. I winced at the title, bringing back memories of Talon betraying me.

Sighing I looked through the mirror back to Raphael who stood patiently in the doorway. "I'm coming." I said before I gave him a small, forced smile and followed him through the door. He stopped by the foot of my bed, hearing my feet dragging behind him. Setting my bag down on the mattress he turned to face me with a slow exhale. "Look I know you don't want to go, neither do I but we need to, for Leo and for April." He said, his eyes scanning my face for any signs of an upcoming outburst or waterworks, but nothing came. I remained silent, eyes fixed on the small smirk forming on his face.

What was this asshole so happy about. "C'mon, or do I have to drag ya down the stairs?" he said, smirk growing wider as I punched him lightly in the arm and followed him out the door, taking one last glance back at the room.

Casey was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs, Wren was in Aprils arms and Mikey looked just about ready to cry. I wanted to hug him reassure him we would be back son, but I had no idea when Leo would be better.

"Bye Mike." I whispered in his ear as he clung to me for dear life. "This is like losing you all over again Alex." He whispered back, pulling me closer. When he finally let go I gave him a sympathetic look and a small smile before I turned to April.

"Alex." She spoke softly, handing Wren off to Casey she took me in her arms, my best friend, my sister. "Promise me he'll get better." I asked in a quiet whine.

"You know I don't know that Al." She whispered back as I clutched onto her tighter, never wanting to have to let go et again.

"Go on." She said as I let go. "We gotta get to work." With a wink she swept Wren up into her arms and I watched them disappear down the hallway to the kitchen

"Bye guys!" Don yelled form the kitchen as we headed out the door, I couldn't bring myself to respond. The walk to the van was silent, Raph piled my bag in wit all of our other supplies, before grabbing his helmet. "I'm gonna ride behind you guys." He said seeing the worry in my eyes. I just nodded before looking back once more at Raph, ready to kick the bike to life.

I watched Casey climb into the drivers seat before starting the engine. "You know it's for the best, it's not like we haven't survived on our own before." Casey said, messing around with the seat adjustments.

"I just hope Leo's not a lost cause." I managed, my voice fading into a whisper before the noise of gravel under the tires made me instinctively take one look back at the old farmhouse. I sighed as my gaze fixed on Raphael, in his leather jacket and helmet. It reminded me of the night watcher, back when I was still a part of the foot, and he used to show up on my balcony. I felt fluttering in my stomach at just the sight of him, and I remembered when he told me we could just run away together, and I told him we couldn't, that we had to stay together as a family.

Truth is, I should've taken the chance when I had it.

...

Casey drove all through the night, never stopping. His face was a twist of exhaustion and irritation by the time we reached the borders of the city. My heart sped up in my chest, the city. For god knows what reason had forgotten it, I pushed it to the back of my mind. It's existence haunted me, the trials I faced within those city limits was enough to make my hands shake with anxiety.

We were so close, yet still far enough away to the point were I felt safe.

Some of the skyscrapers were lit up with lights, the people who lived in them had moved back in, but there were so few. The city still looked like a waste land, dark and desolate minus the few buildings that were deemed acceptable to live in.

Karai was in there, somewhere, probably thinking I was dead. Somewhere rotting down in the sewers.

But I couldn't' think about her now, I forced myself o push her to the back of my mind. I looked to Casey, remembering him as a teenager, remembering the lair and Master Splinter always getting after him for blading around the dojo. I allowed these memories to dwell inside my head, keeping my thoughts away from the city that lingering just outside my peripheral vision.

"You can go to sleep you know." Casey said quietly dragging me from my reminiscing, "I know, I just can't with the city so close."

"I know, it scares me too." Was all he said, before we shared a knowing look and I laid my head back on the rest, closing my eyes to Billy Joel's Piano man. The last thing I remembered was Casey humming along to the lyrics.

* * *

**Okay, time for a little heart to heart. I feel like this story has been on the decline for a while now and I just don't know what to do about it, so here are some questions I need answered. Is it dragging, becoming insanely boring? What is it exactly you, my readers want to see, what don't you want to see? **

**One more thing, the only real factor that keeps me writing besides me wanting to, is reviews, I want to see what you magnificent people have to say. Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing lately too, it really means so much to me.**

**Until next time (;**


	17. Chapter 17

_**I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar errors **_

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

_"I'm so sorry Alex." He said whimpering with his head in his hands, I almost felt bad for him but the image of his crazed eyes flashed through my head. I shut the image out with the horizon in front of me, the sun was setting and the skies flled with beautuful hues of orange and red, even a little purple as the colors danced above the descending light. I had found myself in a feild of flowers, mostly light shades of blue and pinks and some yellows._

_"What made you snap Leo." I asked keeping any emotion from my face, though the words rolled off my toungue a little bitterly._

_I heard a soft sigh from next to me. "I-I don't remember." He said, and I could tell he was mentally cursing himself. "I was in control for so long, then everything just went black."_

_I watched as the last ray of sunlight dissapeared over the horizon to welcome the other side of the world to a new morning, while I was stuck here to endure the darkness, with someone i was struggling to trust now. It wasn't his fault, he was sick, but he should've been getting better._

_"What happened to you in the sewers when you were alone?" I asked, remebering Raph refusing to let me in on just what he had encountered down there, the long jagged marks that ran along his arms and back._

_"You don't want to know." Was all he said before letting out a long sigh as if to indicate he didn't want ot talk about it._

_After another long pause I spoke up again. "Please get better Leo." I whispered before turning to lock eyes with him. The electric blue sent a cold shiver down my spine before I was dragged into an embrace._

_It would've been a beautiful scene, two people entwined in a felid of wild flowers mirroring the post sun set colored sky, except there was just one thing. This memory was not a real one, it was all in my dreams, the only place I'd be able to talk to Leo for now._

...

As my eyes fluttered open I caught the passing image of a lake. "Where are we?" I asked with a groan, I must've overslept to feel this awuful about waking up. "I was wondering when you'd wake up." Casey said with a smirk. "We just passed into the Adirondacks, the Cabin's just a little over an hour away."

I sighed with relief, I could take another hour. Looking out into the side mirrors I watched the pavement behind us, watching the dotted line strech further and further away. I followed the line all the way back to the bike, following at a distance. Raphael, dressed like some vigilante in all black, he must've put on some pants to cover his legs as we approached populated areas, and any sign of him being a giant mutant turle was masked by cloth. I smiled, I wished he were in the van with us though.

"So how are things between you and Raph?" Casey asked nonchalantly as he noticed the new smile on my face from staring out the rear-veiw mirrows. "Getting better." I said back, not really taking his interest in my personal relationships as anything but regular Casey talk. "That's good I guess." He mumbled, and a small hint of sarcasm rang through.

"You still hate him?" I asked smirking, knowing the two really didn't favor eachother anymore. Enough to the point where Case would rather hang around with Donnie at the farmhouse, instead of making up with his old best friend. "What even happened between you two?"

"I don't hate him, it's just...you know us, we got in some stupid little fight and..."

"Lemme guess, neither of you want to sacrifice your pride to apologize because of your raging testosterone and need for dominence." I said with a small laugh at the end, I could've guessed as much.

"Ya got me." He said with a faint smile.

...

I smiled as the pavement ended and was replaced with loose stone and dirt, we were getting close now. As the van treked up the small incline into the winding path of pines and streams I was surrounded with the familiar sense that I was home.

My mind had convinced itself through the very vague memories of North Dakota that I was back there, rolling up to the small little house in the woods.

But I was very far from North Dakota, and that house had been burned to the ground.

"Home sweet home." Casey said as the cabin came into veiw. For being abandoned for years as Casey had said, it looked like time hadn't touched it one bit. Cobblestone walled the front around the door, while the rest of the house looked like a traditional cabin. Reaching two stories it had a balconey and a chimey. "Wow." I said under my breath, I was expecting a small hunting cabin in the woods, rotted with age and harsh winters.

"Yep, used to come up here all the time with my old man. It's not home but it'll work." Casey said unloading our stuff from the back of the van as Raph pulled up, killing the engine of the bike.

"It's great Case." I said grabbing my bags. "Hey" I said as Raph came up beside me, taking off his helmet and jacket. "Hey" He said back with a small smirk grabbing his bags and following me and Casey up to the door.

If the outside was still intact, the inside looked almost new. Hardly any cobwebs hung from the ceiling, and no signs of mice anywhere. Though it did smell a little musty that could quickly be taken care of. I mentally made sure to put cleaning on the top of my list. I'd need something to do anyways.

"Oookay, so here's the fun part." Casey said throwing his bags on the couch. "There are only two bedrooms, one in the loft and one down here." He said pointing in both directions. We all stood in silence for a minute, awkwardly and uncomfortably. Casey and Raph wouldn't share a room because they still hadn't made up, and I felt my face flush at the thought of sharing a room with Raph though I had done it in my youth.

It was stupid though, such a dumb reasoning to put us all to shame and silence, we were a family it shouldn't be this hard to decide sleeping quarters. So I made a rash desicon, and shifted the awkwardness to the two boys.

"I'm taking the loft." I said before quickly heading for the stairs, leaving them both to decide what would happen next. I didn't stay to hear anything but I hoped it would give them a chance to make up.

The cabin was eerily silent after that, one of them had either left or they were still not talking to eachother and I was left alone to my thoughts as I entered the loft room. It wasn't that big, but the perfect size to make it cozy and comfortable. A queen sized bed sat off to my right and on the farthest wall was a massive window, looking out over a quiet little lake with mountains adorning it's background. It felt like this could be it, this could be the final stop in the road for me.

Secluded, quiet, everything about this place called to me, and for a change I found a reason to be happy I had to leave the others. Hopefully instead of returning to the farmhouse they could all come here. We could make a life for oursleves here.

"Hey." I heard a quiet voice say from the doorway behind me. I turned to find Casey, face flushed and hand on the back of his neck. "Hey." I said back with a smirk, so they had come to an agreement, finally.

"I remembered there was an extra futon in here and Raph wouldn't be able to fit on it so I let him have the master bedroom." He said avoiding my eye contact, looking to the closet door where I assumed the futon was stored. I managed a quiet laugh and rested my hand on my hip, trying to bring his attention to me.

"you know, all of this could've been avoided if you two idiots would just apologize to eachother." I said a little harshly, narrowing my eyes at him.

Suddenly all anxiety in Casey was gone, as his back strightened he made his way over to the closet to pull out the futon. With a sly look over his shoudler he shook his head at me. "Casey Jones apologizes for nothing." He said with a smirk.

...

_"You can't fix me." He said, his voice low and bitter. His face was a mask of scars and sratches, his body mangled and beaten. His breath was ragged agaisnt her neck as he circled around her. His hands wanedring along her shoudlers and down her arms. Picking up her hand from her side he inspected it, turning it over in his calloused palm. "You've gone soft, your powers wont work on me anymore." He said breaking the silence. "You're weak." the words fell just inches from her face, but she didn't flinch._

_"It worked before." She said, not in any perticular tone, just blank. Provoking him wouldn't work, it would only do worse. "Temporarily." He said sauntering back to his original position in the dojo. The tree had grown old and decrepit, with no light from the streets above it was now mangled and ready to fall over. Cobwebs hung from every corner and the occasional patter of a rats feet could be heard through the silence. It was the perfect scene for a horro movie._

_But, she had dealt with this all before. She had entered the part of Leo's brain that housed his "Dual personality" As she called it. It grew and festered here, in what memory Leo had of the old dojo._

_"I'm only using a quarter of my powers on you, compared to what I could unleash." She said, stadning firm in her place. A low chuckle could be heard from where Leo's shadow stood on the wall, "You're bluffing O'Neil." He scoffed "And I don't appreciate liars." he said as a ninja star flew by her head. A warning shot, she knew._

_From the shadows where he stood a small tanto slid to her feet. "It doesn't have to be like this." She said, eyeing the weapon._

_"Oh, I know, but this way is more fun." He said back with a wicked grin._

_"Just let Leo go." She managed, she was clenching her fists now, doing her best to hold back her toungue, provoking him to the point of uncontrollable anger was not smart. The taste of blood fillled her mouth as she clenched down harder on her cheeks. If it was a fight he wanted it was a fight he'd get._

_"Don't you get it?" He said tsking her, stepping back out into the light. "I am Leo."_

_There was a pause before the energy in the room turned dark, she drew in every last ounce of self control she had left and shattered it as he charged, Katana ready and out to make sure she wouldn't be coming back any time soon._

_But she was ready, she had already won this fight many times before._

...

Casey sighed as he unpacked his bags on the futon he had moved out from the closet. It was probably the most uncomfortable thing he had ever had to sleep on in his youth but he'd deal with it if it meant he didn't have to share a room with Raph. Body aching, he slumped over on the bed, letting his eyes wander to Alex who had already unpacked, and was now cleaning up the little cobwebs in the corners of the room.

When they had first met she was just as scrawny as he was, of course they were just teenagers then. Now they were adults, and he thanked God everyday he outgrew his beanpole figure. But it wasn't just him that grew into his body, he had found her attractive before in their youth, but he felt that way towards every girl he knew. She had filled out in all the right places, two years of continued training had made her lean and kept her in shape, and her face showed signs that she was no longer some city kid, she had seen war, and death, just as much as he had.

He didn't know what he felt when he looked at her, he loved her but he had convinced himself it was only as a best friend. I mean she would never return specific feelings, there was something that stood between them, more specifically someone.

Years ago she had fallen for the mutant, and he shook it off. Raph was his best friend, and besides he was head over heals for April. He thought that April an Donnie wouldn't last forever and when they failed he would be there to pick up the pieces, but no, years later he found out April was pregnant, and he realized she was a lost cause.

He really had no one, and getting older he felt the urge to stop running. He wasn't a kid anymore, and when the family had talked abut bringing Alex back to the city to be safe from Leo, he had introduced the idea of the cabin before he even knew what he was talking about.

He had offered to take her there, to protect her. He saw a way out of having to look at April everyday with that same longing in his heart, having to hear her children call him uncle. So he said he would take the van in the morning and they'd leave, simple as that.

Except one problem. Raphael, who seemingly acted as if he wanted nothing to do with anyone anymore fought for his right to go with them. And everyone thought it was a good idea, except Casey.

Now, staring at her, thinking about what had happened to them in the past two years his heart started to tear at the seams again. Hurt, pain, turmoil, he was supposed to be the happy, care-free one of the group, now he was at cross roads.

Donnie had April and his kids now, Mikey was still young, and had his brother to watch over. Raphael still held a small piece of Alex, he could tell the fire still burned between them. And him? He basically had no one.

Friends? He was surrounded by them, but love...it was absent. Always missing, he never even knew the love of a family member with a deadbeat dad and a little sister who was always out of the house there was never really anyone for him to turn to.

"Want the radio on?" Alex asked from across the room, and he shut his eyes to make like he was sleeping before she realized he had been staring. "Don't care." He mumbled, as he heard the click of the power button. Instantly Brittney spears burst through the station and a smirk appeared on his face as he heard her squeal with excitement. "You never struck me as a Britt fan." He said chuckling through the chorus of one of her more popular songs.

"I just haven't heard anything other than oldies for about two or more years now." She said, looking at him with a smile, as she continued to dance around the room, making a fool of herself, just enjoying the moment. "I have to admit, you got some moves." He said smirking at her.

How could this happen, how could he sit in a room with this girl and not fall in love, she was everything he had wanted, maybe it was never really April, maybe Raphael convinced him he liked her to keep him away from his girl. April was just a mirage, something he should've known he would never get. But Alex, maybe it was her all along.

"Oh my God, I love this song." He heard her say from across the room as he noticed she had seated herself in front of the radio now, fumbling with the tuner. "Never heard it." He mumbled. It was slow, and sounded like you would only hear it at a wedding or a dance where the couples took the floor.

And just like that he felt a tugging on his arm and he opened his eyes to meet hers, full of excitement. "C'mon." She said tuggig him up.

"What are you doing." he asked, smirking at her as she pulled him out to the middle of the floor. "Out of all the dances I've ever been to, I've never actually been asked for a dance." She said, kid of shyly but openly. She wasn't afraid of him, and that was one of the things he admired about her.

"So you wanna dance?' he asked with a chuckle. "I'm no dancer Al."

She just laughed, "you think I don't know that Jones? Now hurry up before the song ends." She said wrapping her hands around his neck. between her touch and the look in her eyes he froze, his heart beat erratically in his chest and his face flushed. His brain told him no, but his body moved anyways, his hands finding their way to her waist.

It almost felt right, holding her that way, watching the joy in her eyes as they swayed pathetically around the room. As the song went on he grew more comfortable, twirling her in his arms as she laughed and giggled, just being with her made all of his troubles fade away for the moment and he forgot there was another downstairs she was already in love with.

"Casey?" She asked, eyeing him curiously as they swayed to a halt in the middle of the floor as the song ended.

"Yeah?" He said looking down at her through his black locks.

"Do you still love April?" As the words came out of her mouth she let her hands wander to rest on his shoulders. He hadn't expected the question but assumed she'd be asking about his personal life at some point. He sighed. "I used to think I loved her, but I guess I never really did. It was just lust." He managed, avoiding her eye contact so maybe she wouldn't pick up on how broken he really was.

"I don't know Case, do you think love even exists anymore?" She asked, so innocently yet so simply like a child who asked without knowing what kind of answer they'd get. "Yeah." He said "I think it does, you just gotta find the right person for it." He watched her with careful eyes, from being so happy a few minutes ago her eyes looked lost now, hurt and broken.

"Thanks Case." She said, as she looped her hands around the back of his neck once more and reached up on her toes to plant a small kiss on his cheeks. Before he knew what had happened she was already gone, leaving him alone to himself to contemplate what had just happened.

Feeling the spot where she had left the kiss he felt his face flush, then all racing emotions turned to hopelessness. He would never be able to have her. But he would damn sure follow her to the ends of the earth to protect her.

* * *

**Hey guy, so here's what happened. This chapter was a little different and I found it's so much easier writing from other perspectives once in a while, so give me some idea's of whose point of view you'd like to see. Raphael will probably be next chapter, but I will always have Alex's pov in every chapter also. To my reviewers, thank you so much, you guys are the inspiration for this chapter, so many great ideas came from you and I hope to see many more. I'll be trying to update as much as possible, but sometimes life just catches up with you. **

**So let me know what you want to see, or any comments, I read everything and take everything into consideration. I love you guys and hope I'm not letting anyone down. **

**My inspiration for the dancing scene was from the song _'If I Ain't Got You' by Alicia Keys_**

**_And lastly, I don't know how many of you have a tumblr account, but I literally have zero followers so please help me out, I also have no idea how to use it sooo yeah! My user is anacondano, dumb I know...see you guys next chapter! _**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys, no first person pov today but I hope you still like it. Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing once again, seriously, without you guys this story wouldn't have even been this long. I need my faithful reviewers to keep me going. Moving on, I've posted this on my Hobbit fic but I'll put it on here because I'd really love someone to do this for me. I want to see your guys take on Alex, so if any of you are artistic, I'd really love to see a drawing of her, even a sketch because as much as I'd love to do it myself, I lack the talent. So up to you guys, anyone can take up the challenge, or not, not a big deal. _ANYWAYS_, hope you enjoy this chapter, some more Alex/Casey cute stuff, and Raph pov. I'll be waiting to hear what you think!**

**I apologize for any grammar errors, this was written pretty quickly.**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen.

"Casey, get up." She grumbled. It was his idea in the first place to wake up early and get some things done around here to be set for the winter. She nudged him again, this time a little harder in the sides. He just huffed and rolled over. "Screw this." She mumbled, slamming the door behind herself, that probably wouldn't even get him up either. The truth was Casey Jones was ignorant, rude, and an all-round lazy ass, but he was also one of her best friends, and he was always there for her.

Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and an apple from the bowl on the counter she walked over to the large window overlooking the forest. It was so peaceful here, it almost put her in a relaxed state, except for the fact that she couldn't keep her mind off of Leonardo, and the fact that he also hadn't contacted her in her dreams lately. They had been at the cabin for over a week now and she had heard no news from April, and no meetings from Leo. maybe his would take a lot longer than she had originally thought. The crude reality set in that they might be at the cabin for a months, if not more.

Could she handle it, being with two of the biggest hot-heads she had ever known? Or would they ignore each other enough not to start any commotion. Maybe they all just needed to un-wind for while, and the cabin posed the perfect chance to do so.

"Mornin'" A gruff voice called from behind her, she turn to see Raphael, wandering through the large door frame into the living room where she was standing. His face still showed signs of sleep deprivation, but he was still able to get up before Casey. _Typical_ she thought. "Morning." She said back, turning her line of sight back to the forest. "It's beautiful here." She said, just loud enough for him to hear. "It's something." He said back and she heard his footsteps retreat to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Her eyes sank to the floor beneath her feet. So he was still distancing himself, would it take her almost dying again for them to be around each other and actually show their feelings? She knew she had fallen for him, maybe she had years ago, but this was new, she had fallen all over again, how could she not...everything was so different now compared to then. She knew he must feel something for her, there had to be something there, but he was proving her wrong every day.

She used to have fun with Raph, now whenever they were alone together it was pure agony, it was like torture not being able to touch him, or kiss him for that matter. Then the other day with Casey she couldn't stop smiling, he made her happy again, and wasn't afraid to be around her. Casey was actually becoming more enthusiastic with their conversations and he seemed to stick close to her, almost pushing Raphael to the third wheel, when it used to be the other way around.

Shuffling feet tore her from her thoughts as she looked back to see Raph walk out the door. Sighing she placed her hand to the window as she watched him walk down the entry-way and disappear into the woods. Maybe he just needs space right now, whatever they had between them would just take more time to present itself.

"Morning Al." She heard from directly behind her, and jumped, almost tripping over the leg of the ottoman before strong tanned arms caught her by the waist. Looking at him, he already had a huge smirk plastered on his face and he was trying his best to keep his laughter to himself. "Jones, I swear, you're dead!" She yelled punching him in the chest. Rubbing his chest, pouting he looked down at her. "C'mon, how did you not hear me?" He joked as she rolled her eyes. She couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face though.

...

Later that day she found company in Casey once more, down by the dock. For winter being right around the corner the day had been exceptionally warm, so they had decided to spend in by the water. He had insisted they jump in, but after feeling the temperature of the water she had vetoed that idea. "I never got to ask you," She started, looking out over the water a they sat with their legs hanging over the edge. "What was your life like all alone in the city? Before we found each other..." She had never once asked him what it had been like, no one ever did, making her wonder. Casey Jones was a mysterious guy, with a hazy past, but she would figure him out in it took her all winter.

She heard him sigh and then a chuckle as he shook his hair out of his face. "It wasn't all that bad," He said "Food wasn't that hard to find and I got to do whatever I wanted without any authority around." he said with a grin, she didn't even want to comprehend what he had been doing all alone in the city. Left alone and unchecked, he could be just as bad as the purple dragons.

He followed her look out into the water, there were so many other things that had happened to him in the confines of the city, thing she didn't want to bring up, or remember. Things he had seem the foot clan do, things she probably didn't even know about. Of course he knew they weren't all corrupt, and after the shredder had left the clan to Karai they had seemed to make a change for the better.

He had seen things though, brutal murders and fights, the word clan was just a more honorable title for them, they were more like a gang. But he kept this information to himself, he knew her history with the clan and didn't want this to affect her in any way. It's not like she'll ever go back there anyway. "All you need to know is that I survived." He said, deciding to change the subject, he started to ask about a certain masked turtle.

"Anyways, how are things with hot-head?" He asked, getting a faint smirk out of her. "He's just Raph." Was all she said before silence drifted over them.

"I just wish someone would look at me like I'm the best thing in the world to them." She finally said with a pathetic sigh, anxiously tracing her fingers over the cracks of the wood. "Then you should see the way the big guy looks at you." He said back, _you should see the way I look at you._

"Please Casey, no one has ever looked at me like that, and no one ever will..." She said, her voice turning into a soft whisper at the very end.

"How did this conversation turn so sappy." Casey joked looking over at the poor heart-broken girl. He wished he could do something, but trying to add himself to the picture would just make things messy and he knew Raphael loved this girl, getting in his way would be bad. "Seriously though, Al, you're an amazing person, you're a great fighter, smart, beautiful, funny...a great friend." He said, the word friend burning the back of his throat. "Look, you need to get out and do something fun. Let's leave the angry mutant here and go into town. Dinner on me." He said casually nudging her side with his elbow. Just the smallest contact sent sparks through his body. How had he let this happen to him.

She thought about the offer for a minute, before deciding it was the best thing to do, besides might as well see the sights while they were there. "We do need to get groceries anyway." She said looking over to him with a grin.

...

He had sat up in the house, watching them laugh and carry on down on the dock. With his hand pressed to the window pane he sighed. What was he doing? He would lose her to Casey in a matter of days, he knew something was up with the raven haired kid when he offered to take Alex up here by himself. Now he noticed the way he looked at her, the way he leaned into her touch or the way his eyes would brighten up when he got her to laugh. Something Raphael couldn't find himself capable of anymore.

He seemed to just make her upset with his presence, the scent that came off of her when he was near was confusing. It wasn't like the old days where he would walk into the room and she'd be all over him, they couldn't just go back to being like that again.

Yet when he thought about it, they could. If he could just force himself to open up to her more, but what he had dealt with in the city for those two years alone had morphed him into a different person. When he was with his family, his temper usually flared a bit, but without the comfort of another by his side, even Mikey, his anger was unstoppable. He killed just to kill, and didn't feel remorse for it. What he killed were mainly mutants, but sometimes it was a human, a gang member to be exact, who had pulled their knife on him out of fear.

Looking back those people weren't looking for a fight, they were just trying to get away. He never let them.

Gently pounding his fist on the glass he cursed himself. The person he had become was a monster, he had almost beaten his own bloodline to death from pure fury, built up rage. The image of Leonardo's limp body on the ground of the woods at the farmhouse found it's way back to his thoughts, and with a frustrated grunt he pushed the image away.

The only person who really had control over his anger now was the girl sitting with her feet dangling off the dock in front of him. She didn't know, but she was his world, his everything, if he lost her he would lose himself like Leo had, but ten times worse. She held his heart, and with every day that passed he couldn't help but feel like he was failing her.

He had thought she was dead for so long, he didn't know why he even still had feelings for her. Her "death" made him cold, he pushed every one away, so far away to the point where one day he left and they never went looking for him. Something about Alex though, it made him feel again, she was the drug he had been needing to escape his own personal hell.

Looking at her she wasn't much, brown hair, hazel eyes, typical eighteen year old female. But to him her brown hair was the ocean and with ever curly wave he was drowning, and her hazel eyes were like windows to the world, he could look into them forever and never get used to the way it made him feel.

He knew what it was like to fall in love, but to go through it all over again was torture. He wished it was easier for him to open up, but even when he was a teenager he was silent. Hell, this would've been a cake walk if he wasn't having a whole other battle with Casey. His best friend, now making eyes with his girl.

Sighing he left the window, knowing nothing good cold come from continuing to stand there. With a huff and the quick grab of the remote he sat himself down in front of the tv, whose reception was pretty good for being in the middle of no-where. Flipping through the few channels that came through, he settled for the local news and felt himself drifting to sleep at the music playing over the weather forecast.

"Hey Raph, Case and I have to run out and get some groceries!" Alex yelled from the staircase as she descended down from it. She had changed into her typical t-shirt and leggings with her flannel tied off around her waist. He hadn't even noticed she had been inside, he just saw her down at the dock. Ignoring his thoughts he just shouted back a quick "kay" Before he heard the door close behind her and the van thrum to life.

...

Casey hummed along to the oldies on the radio as he drove the van down into the main streets of lake placid, their cabin was probably twenty minutes from the place but the scenery along the way was amazing. Instead of sky-scrapers like she was used to, mountains now took their place ,all the more magnificent.

"I feel awful saying this, but kinda don't want to go back to the farmhouse." Alex said as she looked out the window at all the street shops lining the sidewalks. "You're tellin' me." He said back with a smirk. Truth be told, Casey had hated that house. Everything about it shouted 'April' and he just needed the escape.

"So where are you taking me anyway?" She asked looking over to him now with a curious grin one her face. "The one place I never wanted to leave when we came here." He said back, as he parked the van along the side of the road. "Look." Alex followed his line of sight until she saw it.

The arena was huge, bigger than the one back in the city, and she could understand now why Casey had brought her here. He was hockey deprived.

Once inside she was glad she had brought her flannel along with her. Sliding it over her arms, Casey pulled her to the rental desk.

"You know I suck at skating." She said as she watched him lacing up her skates. In the back of her mind she couldn't help but feel like Cinderella when the price slipped the glass slipper on her feet, and flushed as she tried to push the thought away. "It's alright, I'll be right by your side. I wont let ya fall." He said with a smirk. "You promise?" She asked as she watched his grin grow wider. "Maybe." He said back with a light laugh.

Stepping out on the ice was so foreign to her, she hadn't done it in so long. But there he was, like he said right by her side, every time she wobbled or leaned too far forward he would grab her and steady her at her waist. "Balance yourself here, this is your canter of gravity." He said casually letting his hands rest along her waist for a few moments longer than necessary.

By time she had been able to skate on her own without his help an hour had already gone by, but he say she was having so much fun he just couldn't tell her. "It's like the night we met all over again." She said with a giggle, "But without the kraang busting in through to back doors to take me and April away."

"How do you even remember that?" He said with a smile as they skated slowly alongside each other now.

"I'll show you." She said, taking her hand out of her mitten and turning to stand in front of him. Gently she reached her hand to his cheek and smirked internally as his face flushed a light pink. "I'm not going to hurt you Case." She said with a giggle.

Within a second they were both transported back to the old hockey arena.

_It was a cool night and they were the only ones there, Casey, April and Alex. "I was starting to think you weren't gonna show up Al" the raven haired teenager said, with the red-head clinging onto him for dear life. April managed to slide over to the side of the ice, smiling brightly at Alex as she always did, and would continue to do for years to come. "Hi! I'm April, Casey told me about how you helped out his little sister!" She said. _

_"It's nothing, really...My Name's Alex by the way." she said shaking her hand. Before she could pull away, April had pulled her out onto the ice with her. And never having skated before she slipped and wobbled until finally she slid right into Casey, who fell over with her on top of him. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Casey!" She said trying her best to get up but the ice had the upper hand, and while she half crawled half slid away from her embarrassment with the help of April, she looked back to catch a hint of red in his cheeks. "No problem Al."_

As she opened up her eyes she couldn't help but feel a small sting of heat in her cheeks, and it didn't help when he opened his eyes too and started down into hers with that jack-ass smile of his. Letting her eyes wander she caught sight of the digital clock on the wall behind Casey's head and felt her adrenaline start to heat up. It was way later than she had anticipated, and they still had to get groceries.

"Casey we gotta go!" She said trying to skate away, only to lose her balance. her mind wandered to Raph, he was at the cabin along. As if reading her thoughts, Casey wrapped his arms around hers to steady her. "Raphael can handle himself, besides, you still owe me dinner." He said smirking down at her. She just shook her head contemplating if it was a good idea to be out for so long, breaking the silence she had finally come to a decision. "So what's for dinner then?"

...

A half hour later Alex was full, dinner had turned out to be a nice little pizza place/restaurant just down the street. And after picking up the necessities for the cabin they were in the van on their way home.

Casey smiled at what she had shown him earlier, the memory of them together for the first time. He had remembered that day now, but he wished he could remember what he used to think of her. He saw in the memory the way his cheeks flushed dark red when she had fallen on top of him, was it embarrassment then? Or was it the start of a crush that had developed into something akin to love...

He didn't know, and he'd probably never find out. As long as Raphael stuck around she would always be drawn to him. Casey was just the wingman, and wouldn't ever be anything more. Maybe later in life he'd find a nice girl and settle down, but right now he wanted that girl to be the one in the passenger seat next to him.

He let his mind wander to what it would be like being with someone as wild-spirited as her. He imagined little black and brown haired toddlers running around the cabin, calling him dad instead of uncle for a change.

He smiled at the thought, but it was useless, one could only dream. He looked over at Alex, who had fallen asleep ten minutes ago. He was so quiet, and looked so peaceful it made him long for her even more.

Rolling up the driveway he decided to get the groceries later, and instead went right for the girl. He nudged her sides, only making her shift again to get comfortable, and with gentle hands, he carefully lifted her from the seat and carried her to the cabin bridal style. Feeling his heart beat speed up he couldn't help but want to brush the hair out of her face and keep her in his arms forever, but a brutal awakening stood at the doorstep.

He had his arms crossed over his chest, and he stood there like a strict mother awaiting her child's return form a night out with unwanted friends. "I'll take her from here." He said, his voice quiet but dangerous. The tone told him to back off, he had probably seen the way he had been looking at her. "Yeah, here." He said surrendering Alex to him with a sigh of defeat. As he walked back to start carrying in the groceries he caught a quick glimpse of Raph retreating through the doorway with her in his arms.

huffing he gently punched the side of the van. "Fuck" He whispered to no one in particular, and for a reason completely his own. Casey Jones had fought many battles, and always made sure he came out on top, but the reality of the situation he had led himself into was beginning to show.

He wouldn't win this one.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

_I stumbled out of the room, breaking into a run, my breath hot against the back of my throat, my lungs demanding more air. Run, that's the only thought that ran through my mind, but where could I run if I didn't even know where to go? There were no other doors than the one I had come from, and up ahead was blinding light, I then realized it was a room full of windows._

_The noise behind me grew louder, and I felt the knick of the sword against my back as my attacker only now ran a foot behind me. I could hear every breath, every grunt. I felt his breath beating down my back as I braced myself for what I was about to do. Covering my arms over my face I ran, taking my body through the windows and freeing myself from what lingered not too far behind. As gravity took me to the concrete below, I looked up, and as I watched the end tails of the blue mask blowing gently in the wind, I couldn't help but feel as if time had stopped._

_Then as fast as time had stopped it caught back up with me and as I saw the ground approaching everything went black _

I woke up in a frenzied haze, confused, scarred, dripping with sweat. I glanced around me, I was still in the cabin surrounded by a nest of blankets on my bed. I looked over to the futon where Casey lay fast asleep, and at the sight of him my heart beat slowed down. I wasn't alone. _Relax, just a bad dream _I told myself, but I couldn't help but feel as if it was meant to be more than that.

Sighing I sat up, sliding myself off the bed, the alarm clock next to me read 7:00 am. Early, but there was no way I was going back to bed now. Carefully I snuck out of the room, leaving Casey to his slumber and slipped down the stairs. Mornings at the cabin had to be my favorite, and now having been here a month, snow was beginning to fall in small bundles down upon our deserted little lake. Though I had fallen in love with this place, I couldn't help but let my mind wander to April and Leo, was she making any progress? Or would Leo be lost forever.

I let out a deep breath as I poured my morning coffee, and took up my routine of standing at the window, just watching time go by. I felt as if I was wasting my time here, don't get me wrong I was in love with this place, but my life had hit a brick wall, and there was no way I knew how to get around it. I wanted April to call and say she made a break through with Leo, or for Raphael to wrap me up in his arms to take my mind off his brother. Anything to make me feel like I had a purpose, because standing here for the past month in front of this damn window had done nothing for me. I let my eyes wander, as they always did among the trees and down the narrow drive-way of the cabin. Wishing, waiting for another vehicle to pull up and for the other half of my family to pile out.

They weren't coming though. I knew this much.

I huffed in defeat. There was nothing but time to waste here, and I had taken advantage of it for so long I was beginning to wish I was back in the city. Everyday was a new adventure, and the adrenaline of fighting gave me a momentary high. I missed it. I realized I hadn't even been carrying around my weapons with me anymore, or using my powers.

I guess I was becoming what I always wished I was...ordinary.

Except for one thing. I was in love with a giant mutant turtle, and there was nothing I could do about it. For days I watched him pace around the yard, finding things to occupy himself with, cutting wood for the fire, fixing up things around the house, things I couldn't help with. I watched the way his muscles shifted and tensed as he swung the ax down on the wood, the way small beads of sweat would form on his forehead as he carried bundle after bundle inside until he ran out of wood again.

My mind ached for communication, my body craving his gentle touch. We lived under the same roof and yet it felt as if we had left him back at the farmhouse. I was beginning to think it was time to move on, but to what. Nothing was waiting out there for me, I couldn't just up and walk away.

No one would want to be with me once they had heard about my past, that meant never having children of my own, never being able to wake up next to a husband everyday in the same bed. Never being able to lead a normal life. There was only one person who could give me the slightest view of a normal life and that was Casey.

I cringed at the thought of having kids with Casey. They would be demons, one more thing I wouldn't' be able to handle. I smiled though at the thought of my own children running and playing with April's, jumping all over Mikey, and harassing Don as he worked in the barn. The image of little kids who resembled me made me feel like it could be possible, little brown haired dark-eyed babies.

As fast as the thought came to me it disappeared, taking with it the image of my possible future children, instead it was replaced by the image of Wren, except her skin was more of a tannish green and her eyes were the color of emeralds. on her hands were five fingers and along her cheeks were small dark brown freckles. I watched this child dance and laugh as it pranced around in the field of flowers in my head, I expected to see Don or April with this new form I had created of Wren but instead in the middle of the field awaited another familiar pair of emerald eyes, and with his massive arms he made the child look so fragile and small.

It was then I realized the child I was seeing was not Wren, not at all. It was Raphael's, the eyes, the color of her skin. I watched as they laughed and played together in the flowers, he chased her around until she gave up and she was swept up into his arms once again. It was then their attention was drawn to something else in the distance, and the child's smile grew ten times in size as she leapt out of her fathers arms into another's.

The arms of a brown haired, hazel eyed human.

"Mornin'" A voice said from behind me, gruff and full of morning exhaustion. It pulled me from my thoughts, ripping me away from the child I had envisioned. I turned to see none other than the figure I had just seen prancing around in a field full of flowers in my thoughts. I smirked a little at the image.

"Morning, I made some coffee, it's on the counter if you want any." I said with hopes of a blooming conversation as I had hoped for many mornings now, but like every morning before, this one would be no different. "Thanks" He said back, his voice a little lighter now, and it made my heart skip a beat, but as soon as he rounded the corner I knew our morning interaction was over.

I sighed, turning back to the window, wishing maybe someday this charade would change. I was sick of going through this everyday.

...

She flicked the picture of the smiling family to the side. She had been gazing into it for months now, wondering where they all were, wondering what had become of the Hamato clan, and if her sister would ever return. She basically was her sister, they had been through two years of training, and fighting side by side, she wouldn't have anyone else. She sighed, sipping her morning coffee in the kitchen of the old grand hotel.

Her clan had been split apart, running different sections of the city as the people filled back in, making sure they were protected and safe from the ever lingering mutants and purple dragons. There was one thing she could no longer prevent now that she couldn't keep all her clan under one watchful eye, and that was corruption.

Talon had been told to keep Alex safe, to protect her, and to watch over her. From what Karai had heard he was doing his job, until Alex had found an old family member among the rough and traded in her new life for the old. Talon had come to her with this news, and though she knew Alex should discover her family for herself she couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain, knowing her most trusted solider would be leaving them.

So, she had given the order to Talon to let her go.

He did not listen and knowing Talon had grown close to Alex she knew he would not be able to follow her direct orders. So she followed Talon, who had followed Alex, and had witnessed the monstrous things he had done to her in the sewers while she looked for Leonardo. She was enraged, disappointed that it should have to come to this. She had taught her clan to be a family, now here was one trying to kill the other, trying to kill her closest friend.

So she followed Talon back to his assigned building and in an alley-way below she confronted him, not verbally but with her tanto, forcing him to explain what he had done. Then many years of brutal torture rushed back to her as she dealt him a world of pain, and promised him if he ever went after Alex again, she would personally slit his throat, and if he should ever speak of what had happened she would do worse.

She remembered that day, months ago now, wondering how Alex had made it, wondering if everything was going alright back with her old family. She sighed picking up the old picture again, looking over at Alex, propped up on Leonardo's back smiling, next to them the rest of the clan. She ran her fingers along Leo's younger figure, the days when he used to sneak out just to see her, and they would fight each other up on the rooftops for enjoyment.

He had promised someday he would come for her and they'd run away when he didn't have to lead his brothers anymore. That day never came though, and she had a new responsibility, raising a clan.

Even through her busy life, she let her mind indulge in his image if only for a brief moment in her solitude, then he was washed away with her everyday clan life and she had to get back on track.

He was not coming back for her, and she was starting to accept that.

...

After grabbing his coffee and staring out from the kitchen window for a while he decided it was back to his room for the day. There was nothing he could do outside, it was starting to snow heavily now anyway. Maybe he could do a workout in there for a while, then catch back up on his sleep. As he started the walk down the dark hallway he had just come from he couldn't help but catch a glance at Alex in the living room, just staring wistfully out the window at nothing. His heart ached for her, but instead he pushed the notion away. She didn't want him.

Before he could reach his door though he heard the quiet creaks of the floorboards as someone went to stand at the other end of the hallway.

"Raphael." He heard her whisper through the dark hallway, "We need to talk." Her voice was like thunder over an open sky as the storm began, demanding but not at all as loud as it could muster. He turned to face her, and in the darkness of the early morning he could just make out her outline, and the way her hair swung behind her as she shifted uneasily.

"Yeah, I know." He said back, his voice a little louder than her whisper, and though he tried to make it sound gentle it came off a little rough, and he scolded himself as she flinched at his accidental tone. Truth was he had been too cowardly to make the first move, and now he felt even more like one since she had taken it upon herself to be the first to break the silence between them. "Look, Raph, if you don't feel anything when your with me anymore...I-I think its alright to be friends. I mean, it hurts not talking to you at all, and If you've moved on, I'm sure I can too." She said, her voice sounding like it took her every ounce of courage to say what had just come out of her mouth.

Nothing, he couldn't think of anything to say back to her, he wasn't good at this stuff, and maybe it was another's turn to make her happy. Yeah, she'd be better off with a human boyfriend who could take her on dates, and give her a family. He would just hold her back from her full potential.

He watched as she just shook her head and turned to walk away, maybe this would be the last of it. Maybe now he would move on.

Then he thought of Casey, and how he was the only other human she would be around for a while, and the thought of them being together made his heart pulse with anger, and his fists clench at his sides, turning his knuckles white with tension. He pictured having to live in this cabin with smaller versions of Casey running around calling him uncle and he let out a huff of defeat before he padded down the hallway after her and before he knew what he was doing he had her pinned against the wall.

"Raph." She whispered, her breath cool against his neck. His own breathing was erratic and fast and he didn't know why, he didn't know what the hell this girl had done to him. Before he could pull away in embarrassment for his rash actions she ran her hand over his cheek, at her touch his eyelids fell shut. "Kiss me." She whispered again, running her hands along his shoulders, and before she could change her mind their lips collided. The taste of her lips was enough to send him over the edge, just at that his mind went numb.

He could feel her fingers tracing over his skin on the back of his neck, and the way her hair fell over her shoulders onto his. If this was what he had been missing for so long, he would never let her go again. Everything about her drew him in like a moth to flame, except she was much more deadly to him than that. She was his drug, and addiction he couldn't muster up the strength to quit. She was an oncoming tsunami he couldn't get away from, no matter how far away he would try and run.

As their bodies pressed closer and closer together he started to wonder why he hadn't just don't this before, the way she opened up to him now, as he had her pinned against the wall was too overwhelming for him. so much built up tension, so many sleepless nights dreaming of this.

It was mutual as they pulled away, out of breath from each other. "Why didn't you ever do that before?" She asked, her breath uneven as she spoke. A smirk pulled at the ends of his mouth as he leaned his head back into hers and their lips met again, this time with more aggression than before. It was then he started to hear an annoying buzzing in his ear, and before he knew it she was no longer between him and the wall, he wasn't even in the hallway anymore. He was standing looking out the window in the kitchen and the ringing noise in his ear was Casey, asking him if there was any more coffee left.

"Oh, yeah. There." He said pointing to the half empty coffee pot on the stove in a half mumble. So none of that had just happened... He turned his head back to the window, watching his reflection in the glass. What the hell was he doing.

...

"I'm going to get him back you know." She spat, circling Leonardo's deranged image. He just sent her a wicked grin, a gesture that would've sent her running before, but they had met too many times now for her to back down. "Really? Because I think I'm winning." He said back, his voice on the verge of laughter.

Before he could say anything else she lunged at him, her tessen fanned out and ready to end this ongoing battle. For a month straight April had been fighting this version of Leo off, she had been sure she was weakening him, but I the process she too was draining her own supply of energy. "Tired April?" He teased, his katana coming inches of her face before she could block it with the blunt end of her fan.

"Never." She said back, eyes set on him like a target.

Then their surroundings changed and instead of being in the sewers in the old lair, they were in the woods right outside her house, and there he was twisted and hungry for blood sitting on top of Splinter's headstone. His katanas were gone but she knew he would be able to conjure them up at any moment, and while her tessen had disappeared also, she was sure he would give it back when the time came.

One thing about this deranged version of Leo, he was still honorable in battle. He wouldn't allow himself to kill someone who was helpless.

But right now she thought nothing of him except that he needed to go. It was true, her energy was dwindling, and fast, how much longer would she be able to take?

"I wish your little master was here to watch this, the downfall of his son and the destruction of his daughter." He said kicking his heel against the back of the rock with a chuckle. "He'd be pretty ashamed April."

To this she only shook her head, his words no longer meant anything to her.

Then behind her she heard a noise, a mix of feet padding along the fallen pines of the tree, and a steady flow of breath. Was this yet another personality of Leo's coming forth. She was too exhausted to fight off two of them, let alone one, and she had gotten lucky he didn't want to fight right now.

Leaning against the trunk of a tree, she jolted a little when a gentle, but firm hand came to rest on her shoulder. She turned quickly, expecting Leo, but instead for a pair of eyes she thought she would never see again. In shock, and awe she found no words to say. Instead a bright smile plastered her face as she looked into the old rats eyes, knowing why he was here. "You know why I am here." He spoke, and she nodded. "I can help." She said back in a whisper.

"You have done enough my daughter, you can rest now." He said before he went to stand in front of her.

"Leonardo, you have dishonored me greatly." He spoke, as the terrapin turned his head slowly with that gut wrenching grin on his face. "Why are you here, to lecture me old man?" He said back spitting on the grave as he slid down from the rock.

"No lectures, but you will face your punishment." He said as he drew a long curved blade from is belt.

"Finally." Leo breathed, drawing his katana. "April was beginning to bore me."

She watched as father and son went at it, kicking, slicing, darting, Master Splinter was faster, and obviously had not taught his son everything. Leonardo was beginning to falter, but he kept up the fight.

April had felt like she had been transported to the past, and was watching their sensei train the brothers, but this time they were out for blood, and it looked like Leo had finally met his match.

She watched with wide eyes as Leo lost his footing, sending him to the ground as Splinter quickly kicked his sword from his grasp. "This ends now." Splinter said, his voice low and angry. He did not flinch as his blade slid across the terrapins neck beneath him, his eyes only saddened when he turned back to April as the figure beneath his dissipated into the ground, freeing Leo of his deranged side.

"Please take care of them April". He said letting his blade fall to the ground, now tainted with blackened blood.

"I will Sensei." She said back quietly, still not able to process how he had come to her rescue.

"You must know I love you all, please, tell my son this." He said, leaving a kiss on her forehead she watched as everything around her faded to black and she could've swore she could hear him whispering goodbye.

When she opened her eyes the darkness was gone and she was staring into the eyes of her love, Donnie, as they stared intently into hers from across the table. "He's gone." She whispered.

"Gone? Are you sure?" He asked, his eyes skeptical, but hopeful at the same time.

"I'm sure." She said back, running her hand across Leo's forehead, he was so peaceful, hopefully when he woke up he would remain the same way. "We got him back Donnie." She said, pushing her falling bangs out of her face, "he's back."

* * *

**Thank you for reading yet another chapter of this story, and a special thanks to everyone who has stuck around this long. Another huge thanks to all my reviewers, and of course the wonderful _15LMDR_, who so kindly drew a picture of Alex for me! (It's awesome btw) Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I know it might be a stretch but if this story could get to 100 reviews by this chapter I would probably have a breakdown. It's at 89 so far so let's see if you guys can do it!**

**Anyways, see you next chapter, if you stick it out.(be**


	20. Chapter 20

_My god you people are the sweetest, thank you all so much for those of you who reviewed! It's uplifting seeing reviews that people enjoy my story, and I actually got six this time, lets see if we can beat six. Seriously though, your words mean so much to me and they keep me motivated. So please, don't be shy (:_

_Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty_

A day had passed since April had freed Leonardo of his inner demons, the wretched part of his mind that had been taken over by illness and insanity. As far as she knew he would be alright now, and almost twenty four hours after she had retuned from her psychic rendezvous inside his mind, he had opened his eyes, and greeted her with a warm, familiar smile.

It was now a week later and he was up and walking around, helping April with the dishes and letting Donnie treat his wounds. Yes, it may have only been a week but things were looking up, Leo was back to normal. April smiled as they sat around the fireplace together, Mikey flanking her left, and Donnie on her right, Leo on the ground with sleeping toddlers on either side of him nestled in a large pile of blankets.

"Want me to help bring them upstairs?" He asked, making sure not to move an inch so he wouldn't stir the children awake. April just nodded and lifted herself off the couch before going to grab Oliver. Wrapping him up in her arms, she dragged a comforter behind her as Leo followed her up the stairs with Wren, both children too exhausted to open their eyes.

Tucking her kids into bed, and shutting the door behind her and Leo, she sighed, "Thanks Leo." She said, her voice on the verge of a yawn. "No problem April, I've got to earn my keep somehow." He joked, earning a quiet laugh from her. They walked downstairs in a comfortable silence, joining the rest of the group back on the couch just to talk and stare into the crackling fire. April tuned out of the conversation after Mikey started talking about his new show, and began to wonder what the others were up to, and how she was going to contact them to tell them the good news.

Glancing over at Leo, joking with Mikey, she wondered how Alex would react when she saw him again, would she feel fear, or would she succumb to the trust built up between the two. April hoped for the latter, it seemed Leo was far from relapsing again, if ever. Her mind then wandered to Raphael, remembering the old days when he would compete with Leo for Alex. Hopefully those petty days were over, and they could just get back to being a family.

The odd thing was, Leo hadn't asked about the others yet, not even Alex. She was starting to wonder if he didn't want to, he probably knew why she was absent, and he had probably figured out what had gone wrong. He was ashamed, and felt guilty that he had hurt the one he held most closest to his heart.

"You alright?" A soft voice came from beside her, she turned to meet her favorite pair of eyes. "Yeah, just a little tired, it's been a long day cooped up in here." She said back. Looking at Donnie now she noticed the fine lines that had begun forming around his eyes and over his face, he was young, too young for this kind of stress right now. He should be having fun with his brothers, tinkering in his lab, building inventions like he used to. Instead he was up all night thinking of ways to keep them safe and warm at night, sleepless nights spent rocking children he was too young for to bed.

"Let's go to bed then, I'm beat too." He said with a small smile, and she nodded. Rising form the couch they said their goodnights to Mikey and Leo, who would probably be following in their steps shortly and made their way for the stairs.

Laying in bed she couldn't help but stare up at the ceiling as Don shifted and turned over in his sleep. She was exhausted, and soon enough her eyelids would start to close without her consent, but she couldn't stop thinking about Leo, about Alex. What was Alex doing up there in the cabin, how would she tell them Leo was okay, should she wait any longer?

Her mind then wandered to Raphael, had they gotten closer yet? Would things be returning to the way they were at the lair years ago? Sighing she rolled over under the comforter to face Donnie. Hopefully sleep would be able to clear her mind.

...

The snow had covered the ground now in a thin sheet, but it was sticking, and though it was beautiful it was beginning to take a toll on Casey and I, to have to drive to get groceries. Where there was snow, there was ice, and Casey and I were not the best drivers around. Last week we had stocked up, knowing all too well that if there was more snow coming, the driveway would be blocked, and no one was coming to plow us out. I sighed holding my routine morning coffee snugly in my hands as I stared out the window into the white abyss. It would only get colder from here, and it didn't help I was already starting to feel the negative effects of winter.

I was a mess, emotionally and physically. I couldn't walk two steps without my head pounding, or even speak without having to hack up a lung. I made the executive decision for Casey to avoid my direct contact for a while. God forbid we both came down with something, so oddly enough I had been spending more time with Raphael, who's immune system was built for avoiding sickness and the common cold. Even if it was just silent tv time on the couch or helping me wash the dishes, I enjoyed every moment of it, he was starting to come around. I ached for more communication though, for someone to just talk to normally. I missed the others.

Another week without anything from April had gone by in a flash, but then again, how would she even be able to reach us. That part of the plan had not been thought through very carefully it seemed. I wished she would just communicate with me through my mind again like she had when I was back in the city, but then again the connection there was very vague and now being even farther away didn't help much.

I let my mind travel to Leo, his touch, his embrace, his friendship. The word felt betraying in my mind._ Friendship?_ I knew better than that. Eventually there had been something there between us, I had to admit now I think I did love him, maybe even as more than a friend. Everything he did for me was so kind, so caring. He did not see me as a friend but as more, much more, and I had went behind his back and chosen his brother.

It was a constant struggle to not feel guilty for choosing Raphael. I loved him though, and through the years it appeared the tiny fire between us had grown into a deep inferno. I felt his breath down my back as he went to stand behind me, watching the outside world with me as we stood by the window.

"What's so amazing that's got you staring out this window every morning?" He asked with a chuckle and I could feel the smirk on his face from behind me.

"It's so beautiful out there, how could I not?" I said back, a small smile on my face as I turned to face him. He just smiled and shook his head. "So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked watching the brute shift uneasily. I could tell it was hard for him to be around me, I felt the same way, but forcing ourselves to interact was a step toward our old life, and everyday it was becoming easier.

"You don't look like you're up for another round of monopoly, so how about a movie?" He asked, a smirk growing on his face as he looked me up and down. I had to admit, I must've looked like a mess.

"Why not." I said back, coughing as I walked over to the tv stand, shuffling through the movie rack. We hadn't thought to bring any entertainment with us when we left the farmhouse, so everything that we had, had already been here, therefore, leaving us with no choice but to watch outdated movies. I picked up a gem I had been eyeing earlier in the week, "How's this?" I asked.

He just looked at me with that _'I don't really care'_ smirk and plopped himself right down on the couch. I stifled a quiet laugh as I popped the movie in.

An hour and a half later my eyelids were starting to droop shut despite the bright mid morning sun shining through the window. Sickness had always gotten the best of me, I was always tired, always coughing, I hated it. The movie had begun to bore me, my mind trying to convince me I needed more sleep than I had already gotten. I sighed, giving into the notion as my body slid further down the couch until my head hit something hard.

With whatever alertness I had left in my body I looked up, and there he was, I had almost forgotten he had been watching the movie with me all this time. He just shook his head with that stupid little smirk and lifted his arm up and around me, pulling me into a comfortable position so that I could rest up against him. I just smiled as he pushed a strand of hair out of my face, leaning into the touch my eyes closed, lulling me deeper into the state I was in, until finally darkness overtook me.

...

Casey sighed, watching the scene from the loft railing, rolling his eyes as Raph wrapped his arm around Alex. He wished it could've been him, his mind raked back to dancing with her in their room, to skating in the rink with him there to steady her. If anything he had been there for Alex more than Raphael had ever been. He hated how cold Raph was towards her, how long it took him just to come around. It was almost pathetic.

The truth was though, that Raphael had her before him, before any of them, so he couldn't fight himself on why he wasn't getting the girl. They were in love, it was obvious to tell. The way they stole glances at each other, the way the leaned into each others presence. There was no way in hell he would've ended up with her anyways. He was always the wingman, always the second best.

Rolling his eyes he made sure to close the loft door gently behind him, as if not to let the others know of his presence. Flinging himself down on the futon he mumbled something to himself before rolling over and submitting himself to sleep.

...

He had been on the hockey rink all his life, this was no different. The crowd cheered as he sank the third puck of the game into the net. Smirking he obnoxiously waved to the opposing team as he skated by, his name booming through the overhead speakers to announce his goal. The arena as huge, the bleachers expanding out of his sight, the ice, smoother than any he had ever played on.

As the whistle blew starting another pass off, a flash of orange crossed his line of sight. Shaking it off he went after the puck but a ringing in his ears caused him to fall back, "What the hell's going on?!" He mumbled to himself before trying for the puck again which was already at the other side of the rink by now.

As he made his way for the group fighting over the puck, that's when he saw her. The flash of orange he had seen before, it was her. She looked so out of place, she wasn't cheering, she wasn't smiling along with the crowed, she was just staring, staring at him. "April?" He questioned, and at the muttering of he name the ice beneath him vanished, replaced by soft grass under the shade of an oak tree. The noise of the arena slowly faded out as he saw her, standing in the middle of a field full of flowers.

She just looked at him before turning her head to run her hand along the blue flowers before her. Slowly he got up, making his way over to her, this wasn't right, he knew he wasn't dreaming this anymore.

_"April?"_ He asked and she turned, her face now smiling at him gently.

_"Casey."_ She said back taking a few steps towards him to close the distance. _"Finally, someone came through."_

"_What are you talking about?"_ He asked confusion present on his face. She just chuckled. _"I have news, Leo's awake! He's okay!"_ She all but yelled, her smile ecstatic.

_"April, slow down, is this real?"_ Casey asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, was April really talking to him through his dreams? He knew she had done it with Alex before, but why him, why not her?

April just gave him that 'Are you really that stupid' look crossing her arms over his chest_. "Of course this is real Casey, I was supposed to reach Alex but you came through instead."_ She said with a sigh. He watched in confusion as she stared at him, eyes wondering what was going on in his head.

_"Leo's okay?"_ He asked, his voice hushed with a hint of disbelief. He watched as her mouth twisted back up into a smile as she let out a deep breath. _"You're really not getting this, are you Jones?"_ She said chuckling twisting the stem of a flower in her fingers_. "Leo is back, and he hasn't showed signs of losing it again. I think it's safe for you guys to come home now."_ She said her smile lightening as she pondered the thought of everyone being together again.

Casey smiled this time too, until he realized the reality of the situation. _"April, I don't think we'll be able to make it back yet."_ He said, his smile dissipating. _"The snow's getting deep, the van wont make it until it's gone."_

_"I understand."_ April said back after a moment of silence between them. She reached up to push the bangs from her face, behind her ear, knowing now Casey meant they wouldn't be able to return until early spring. _"We'll talk about this later Case."_ She said with a smile before everything went black and Casey was rolling over on his side, waking up wondering what the hell had just happened.

* * *

**Please don't hate me, this is such a short chapter compared to my others, but I had a little writers block on this one. It really helps when you guys give your own suggestions because I can actually incorporate them into the story, thus making both of us happy. So please let me know what you think! Like I said before, thank you to all who have reviewed my story, I seriously smile every time I see I have a new one, and even if you don't have much to say I still appreciate it. Also I have a poll up if anyone wants to check it out and vote on future one shots, or I might just forget the one shots and start a LOTR fic, lemme know what you think. **

**One more thing, because she is my most faithful reviewer I'm recognizing _Tatsuki Vermilion_, not just for reviewing, but for all her kind words and encouragement. Go check out her stories and give her some love, they're pretty great.**

**Until next chapter.**


	21. Chapter 21

_Hey guys, sorry, I feel like it's been forever since I've updated but I've been waiting to try and figure out a way to advance the plot a little here. Essentially I know where this story will end, I just don't know what I'm going to fill in right now. This story still has a way to go if you're up for it. Also, I totally agreed with some of you that Casey needed a little more attention in this story, so from the depths of my many forgotten creations and lists of possible OC's, I've pulled up something special. Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter Twenty One

It had been another two weeks, and now well into December Alex couldn't remember the last thing she had said to April before they had left. She felt guilty but the other half of the family had become but a distant memory in her mind for the past few weeks. Maybe it was the cold, or maybe it was the fact that nothing had been heard of from April. Casey had been mumbling something about a weird dream he had about her, but that was pretty much it.

She sighed, back at her window she watched the snowflakes tumble to the ground, blown around helplessly by the wind. A storm was coming, and the local weather station had said it had been predicted they would receive about a half foot of snow by tomorrow morning. It was a lost cause even if April did contact them with good news, there was no way they were going to be able to leave now, and depending on how bad the winter season became, they might not be able to get the van out of the driveway until early spring.

"What is it?" A gruff voice came from behind. She didn't have to turn to know who it was. "The storm's going to be bad, what if the power goes out?" She said a hint of worry in her voice now realizing the reality of their situation. They had no one else out here to help them, they were hopeless if anything happened. She wished they were with Donnie right now, he'd have a solution for everything.

"Quit your worrying, we're fine." He said, she could see his faint reflection through the window though, she could make out the slightest trace of worry on his face. "Did ya forgot you can shoot fire out of your hands? I think we'll be okay." His chuckle made her smile and for a moment the worry was eased, pushed to the back of her mind. "Shut up." She mumbled turning to him now, nudging his chest softly with her fist.

It was becoming easier now, talking to him. She could be playful again, she could smile at him and know he'd smile back. She could touch him and know he wouldn't shy away. Taking her mind off of him for a minute, her thoughts strayed to Casey, they had sent him out alone to get the groceries after another morning of her not feeling to well. He had been gone over two hours now, a task that only took less than an hour to complete. "What the hell is Casey doing out there?" She mumbled quietly as her hand found it's way to the window pane, earning a quiet chuckled from Raph.

"I bet he doesn't even know." He said back, smirking as he pictured the raven haired kid all alone in the grocery store. From knowing Casey for years, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle such a simple responsibility on his own. "Let's just hope he comes back with the right stuff."

...

Casey shifted uneasily as he pushed the cart further down the isle in search of the scribbled items on the list. He was getting anxious, and he didn't know why, it was grocery shopping, a four year old could do it.

Except he had never done it on his own, only if you count scavenging the streets of the city for a meal. He had always been with April or Alex, they had always known what isles held what, and the specific brand to buy. To Casey, everything looked the same, and while he didn't consciously register it, he had been standing in front of the milk section for at least five minutes.

"Excuse me, are you getting milk or would you rather stare at it for another ten minutes." A voice said from behind him, drawing him out of his trance, his head still trying to figure out why milk had five different varieties. "Oh, yeah sorry bout that." He said, pulling his cart back while he turned to face the unnamed voice.

It was a young girl, probably his age, maybe a year older with her arms firmly set across her chest. She smirked at him as his face flushed with embarrassment. "First time?" She asked with a teasing voice, reaching her arm out for the door to grab her own milk.

"Sorta." He replied sheepishly.

She just chuckled and walked over to him, placing the milk in her own cart before holding out her hand, palm up. "This?" He asked holding up the crumpled list, she just nodded and he handed it over. Scanning the scribbled down words she reached into the milk section and grabbed a jug with a blue cap. "Two percent, says it right on the label." She said, handing him back the list shaking her head with a smirk. "Seriously, my five year old cousin could've figured that one out." She chuckled.

"Hey! Not my fault I've never done this before." Casey replied defiantly and girl just looked at him, her smirk now fading away. "Sorry, it's just comical." She said. He couldn't help but feel like she was looking right through him with her electric blue eyes. They were like icicles.

He looked down at the list as she started to roll her cart away waving a short goodbye. There was still a lot more to go, and he had no idea what some of the stuff Alex had written was. "Wait!" he called to the girl before she could disappear down an isle. She just smirked and shook her head. "Lemme see it." She sighed and Casey handed her the list, defeated.

They had been shopping now for another half hour, and he was worried Alex was starting to wonder where he was, but he had to admit this girl was really helping him out. As his cart filled with the specific items on the list he had learned a lot about her already, other than the fact that she was just as sarcastic as Raphael. Her name was Sloane and she was only in the area for college, her parents living miles away on a small piece of farmland upstate. Her fair hair was short, cropped around her neck at an angle and her cheeks held the same number of small freckles that Alex's did. She was smart, funny, and kind of an ass, but she grew on Casey quickly.

He sighed as she tossed the final item on the list into the cart with a triumphant smile. "Done!" she said as she went over the list a final time. Casey just smirked. "Thanks a ton, seriously." He said as she beamed at him handing him back the list.

They ended up together at the register too, and as her items were scanned and swept away into the plastic bags she turned back to Casey. "Do you know how to do this part, or do you need my help again?" She joked, mocking him with a smirk. He just huffed and when the cashier wasn't paying attention gave her the middle finger. She laughed, "I like you Casey, even if you are a little incompetent."

"Same for you, if you could be any less of an ass." He joked back and received a glare from her before she handed her money to the cashier.

"We should catch a coffee sometime, when the weather isn't so bad." She said hesitantly, the smirk on her face replaced with a shy smile as she pushed her golden hair behind her ear. Casey just smiled back, feeling his face flush a little at the thought of hanging out with her again, did he actually like this girl? He didn't know what he felt but he took her up on the opportunity anyways.

"That sounds good." he said back, his smile equally as shy. "My apartment's right above the coffee shop on main street, just come by anytime." She said before waving a quick goodbye with the promise of meeting up again.

As Casey drove home he couldn't help but feel as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulder. He was no longer the wing-man, he had actually found a girl who had taken an interest in him. Even if it was an accident, he thanks Alex for being sick and sending him out alone. He had a date! Well, not really, but technically! Smiling he pulled up the icy drive-way, eager to see his supermarket friend again.

...

**(Two days later)**

_Journal Entry #34_

_I wish I could get you out of my mind, your image has been etched into my eyelids, and every time I try and lull myself to sleep there you are. The mystery child that plagues my thoughts, the small toddler who runs through the fields of flowers without a care in the world. Who are you, and why are you haunting me..._

_Sometimes you look like Wren, then other times you resemble my image when I was young...oddly human. I don't know why you keep coming back...are you a vision of the future? Or are you just there as a subconscious desire. I've always wanted a child, but you've been dancing around in my mind too long for this to be a dream. I've been lying awake at night, trying to figure you out, trying to understand why I keep having the same dream over and over again._

_It's not only in my dreams that you haunt me though, you're everywhere I look. I can stare out the window in the living room as long as I want to try and make my mind go numb, to forget what I've been seeing, but your image lingers in the snow covered trees, in the emerald eyes of the turtle who came here with me. There are too many forms of you to make sense of._

_You cannot exist inside my world, I cannot have a child. So why do you mock me, why do you instigate my deepest desires._

_You are beautiful though, your emerald eyes are brighter than Raphael's and the freckles that line your face are even darker than I could've imagined. You've drawn me into your world, and even though it was my mind that conjured you up, I still remain curious as to who you really are._

_I've called you Eva, a name my mother had gone by before she was murdered, an ironic name considering it means life. You are my life now Eva, whoever you are. Though I wish you would stop taunting me, I can't deny I ache for you to be real._

Alex closed the notebook with a soft sigh, the smell of waffles being enough to draw her out of her early morning stupor. With a groan she stretched out her legs over the bedside and gently slid the old notebook in between the mattresses before getting up to see who had decided to make breakfast. As the stairs to the loft creaked beneath her she could hear laughter and dishes clinging together from the kitchen. With a small smirk she made her way over to investigate.

Being cooped up in the cabin wasn't such an awful thing, she had been spending most of her time with Raph, and said turtle and Casey had been getting along like their old selves. Leaning into the frame of the kitchen entry-way she managed to keep back laughter as she watched the two trying to outdo the other with their 'pristine' waffle making skills.

"Good morning." She said from the doorway, getting the immediate attention of the two boys. "I see you two are having fun."

"Morning Al." Casey said, his smile one she hadn't seen in a while. Raphael walked over to her with a cup of coffee already in his hand and offered it to her. "Morning." he said, his voice gruff, sending shivers down her spine. She just smiled weakly up at him, something she knew could do the same to him.

After the encounter in the kitchen, Casey was left to clean up, while Raphael retired to the morning news, and she found her regular spot by the window. The snow had all but piled it's way up to the glass, and it was getting colder, though the weather promised temperatures that were on the rise. She sighed placing her hand to the glass already knowing it would still be ice cold. Looking out into the snow covered trees she tried to picture what they had looked like when they trio had first arrived here. Failing to remember she huffed, turning to Raphael.

"I don't want to go back to the farmhouse." She said, mostly to herself but gained the attention of the turtle on the couch. She couldn't deny she had fallen in love with the idea of everyone living happily at the farmhouse together, but the cabin was warm, and comfortable, and there were no old, terrible memories here. It was new, a fresh start. Maybe she could convince April to join them up in the mountains.

"I know, I can tell." he said with a smirk. He had watched her everyday since she had started gazing forlornly out the massive window, he knew she had decided already this cabin was the end of the line for her. She wouldn't leave now.

In the time he spent watching her, and knowing her longing to stay here, he decided when the time came if she didn't want to return to the farmhouse, he would vouch to stay here with her, and the escape they had always had planned those years ago would finally happen. Sometimes it felt as if they had already run off, and were living together peacefully and happily, that is until Casey showed his face every so often and the sweet image of him alone with her face planted into cruel reality.

He smirked up at her, taking her in from her mousey brown locks, to her delicate fingers. He had ached for so long just to hold her like he used to, to whisper all those sweet words into her ear, things reserved only for her, and god so help him if Mikey ever found out. He knew he had a temper, but she was the only one besides his father who could ever suffocate that fire, and even though he wasn't, she made him feel completely human. Some days he would wake wishing to have a normal body for once, hands that held five fingers instead of three, a body without a shell... She made it feel as if those things never mattered though, and he couldn't help but feel as though she had him completely wrapped around her finger.

"I want everyone to come here." She mumbled, turning back to her window, pressing the pads of her fingertips to the cold glass as if she was trying it reach through it. As she sad it, he realized just exactly what she meant.

"Too small." He mumbled, wishing she could just ask if they would be able to stay here together...alone.

"We can build, add more to the cabin." She said, a glint of hope shining in her eyes now, and for a moment he wished he could give her what she wanted just so he could see that expression on her face for the rest of their days. "Yes! It's possible..." She said, her excitement climbing.

"Maybe." Was all he could muster, trying to sound neutral he just let his gaze fall back to the tv set. "C'mere" He mumbled and looking to him with those wide hopeful eyes, she did just that, finding a comfortable position she let her head fall to his shoulder and instinctively he reached out and wrapped his arm around her.

As long as he could hold her like this nothing mattered.

With a long sigh he let his eyes fall shut, his body memorizing the way she felt up against his side, the way her breath fell gently on his shoulder as they just existed together. Alex was a miracle, not only in the sense that she shouldn't be alive right now, but in the sense that she had come to love him, a mutant creature who defied the laws of evolution, and humanity. A freak...

Humming softly, she dared to reach up her hand to caress his cheek, raising her body so her eyes could meet his. At the touch his eyes fluttered shut. "As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters Raphael." She whispered, returning to her position leaning on his side for support.

As her palm left his cheek, his eyes stayed closed, there was no way she had known what she had just done.

He had forgotten about that little quirk, her gift that allowed one to swim through her memories upon touch. She had just accessed that to him without notice, and he had seen something he could not comprehend.

The image of a small child danced around under his eyelids for a brief moment before the connection was severed, and even then her emerald green eyes seemed to stay trapped there, beckoning him, seemingly reaching out for him.

The rest of the day he didn't question her, he kept the image of the small child to himself, until he fell asleep that night and once again her image danced around in his head as he seemingly chased her down through a field of wild flowers.

* * *

**Sorry to end on such a weird note, but more will come, I promise! Hopefully I made the story a little more interesting than it previously had by adding a new character. Let me know if you like Sloane or not! PLEASE! Also, thoughts on the tiny child inside Alex's head? *menacing laughter* Take a good guess my friends. **

**Hope you enjoyed! Please, if you liked this chapter please leave a review. I appreciate every word you guys write me!**

**New business! I wrote a small little one-shot of Donnie and April, it's on my page if you'd like to check it out. (I'd really appreciate it)**

**Until next chapter!(:**


	22. Chapter 22

_Hey guys! I'm sorry for the delay, I'll talk more about that at the end of the chapter but for now, new business! I hope you all liked Sloane from my last chapter, heads up, she will not have a large role to play in this story, she's just an addition to Casey's story because I felt his point of view very weak, and struggling to figure out what he really wanted with his life, I decided to insert a character that might help him out a little bit. _

_Also some exciting news, very recently I was asked by another writer on here if I would grant permission for my oc Alex to be used in a chapter of one of her own stories! Of course I said yes and I'm super excited to have the honor of having my character in another's story, even if it is one chapter. So please do me a big favor and go check out Tatsuki Vermilion and her story Stripes of the Past! Leave her a review if you can, she's amazing for doing this for me._

_Now, on with the story..._

* * *

Chapter Twenty Two

I had spent so much of my time staring out windows, and restlessly getting lost in my own head, I hadn't even realized Christmas had passed and we were well on our way through January. It was almost laughable, I never even left the cabin anymore, not that I had that much in the past, but Casey had starting wanting to get groceries on his own now, leaving me behind with no excuse other than having errands to want to escape.

I suspected something was up with him but I didn't say anything. Some days he would be gone from sun up until sun down, coming home with the smell of perfume mixed with coffee stuck to his skin with his hair in a mess. I would steal side-ways glances, and knowing smirks to Raphael, Casey had finally found himself a girl. I wasn't one to pry, but if we were staying in this cabin another month or so I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself from asking about _"her"._

For now I brushed the thought off, my mind wandering to my own secret desires.

Out of the corner of my eye I glanced his way, watching how the evening light on his face made his emerald eyes seem even brighter. "Like what you see?" He teased, his voice heavy but soft, I didn't even have to blink before I felt him standing behind me. My stomach tightened as his hands came to rest on my waist, his breath sending a wave of goose bumps down my neck and back.

I just hummed in affirmation, the smirk growing on my face as my stomach twisted and turned like a young school girl's would when she walked by her crush. "You have no idea what you're doing to me just by touching me." I whispered, letting the reality sink in that Raphael had become a rather large part of my life again, if he wasn't my entire life as it was.

"Oh really?" He asked, his tone on the cockier side, and I could feel the smirk on his face knowing I had just given him compete control over me. His breathing on my neck sent wave after wave of spine tingling bliss down my back, and I could feel him inching closer. So close I could feel the smooth texture of his plastron pressed gently against me.

I couldn't control my body after that, my heartbeat sped up to an unstoppable speed, it was so loud I was embarrassed he might actually be able to hear it. By then my palms had begun to sweat and I couldn't keep my thoughts in line, everything was a jumbled mess and while I was trying to calm myself down I felt my body go stiff under a different kind of touch.

I hadn't realized how hot his breath was on my neck until instantaneously I could feel myself burning up, he was inches away from me now, closer than that even, and I sighed in glorious bliss as the feeling I had felt before was presented to me again.

He was kissing my neck, not in the sloppy way they show you in the movies where the teens are making out all filled with lust, but he was slow, deliberate to make me suffer. He knew very well what he was doing to me, he had been able to do it before. Through spending the last few weeks closer than ever he had plenty of chances to learn just what made me go weak in his arms.

This was one of those instances.

I sighed in delight, the line of kisses gently brushing over my skin making me crave more. My eyelids fluttered shut as the trail of kisses traveled up the nape of my neck, to the side of my cheek, his breath still burning up my skin. "Raph." I whispered, wishing I had the will to move my body, to not be so weak just from his soft touch.

The truth was I couldn't get enough of it. "Yeah?" He answered, his voice equally as soft. The change in direction of the voice caused my eyes to open, curious now more than ever to what he was really planning on doing to me. There he stood, slightly towering over me, his eyes filled with wonder, and passion. I hadn't realized he had moved to stand in front of me now, and through distracting me with his small kisses his hands had found their way to my hips, pulling me gently to him, but with enough force to keep me there.

I looked at him with anxious eyes, we had been playing these games for weeks now, I had been wondering when he would make the next move to further our growing relationship. So far he had been enjoying himself immensely just by leaving soft kisses and gentle touches all along my body. As many times as I had caught him staring at my lips mid conversation he had never actually built up the courage to attempt such a small feat.

He must have seen the anticipation in my eyes because he spoke again, leaning closer so our foreheads would touch. "Tell me what you want me to do." He whispered, his voice husky sending another wave of goose bumps down my spine. I hesitated for a moment, biting my lip before the images of us together in more ways than one flew through my mind. I felt the blood rush to my face in response, embarrassed.

I internally sighed, before I answered him. "Kiss me."

Lifting his forehead from mine, with his fingers he lifted my chin up to face him. The red of my cheeks only burning brighter. As he looked down into my eyes I saw a hint of hesitation on his face. Was he nervous? This was Raphael, the bad-ass who wasn't generally afraid of anything, so why wouldn't he kiss me?

Maybe he didn't want to. Casting my eyes down in shame and embarrassment I felt his fingers leave my chin.

Then, ever so slowly I felt a hand glide around the back of my neck, fingers tangling themselves in my hair, the other, firmly placed at my waist. Looking up I caught his eye before my eyelids fluttered shut again at the much awaited contact. His lips felt different on my lips than they had on my neck, they were softer now, more sweet now that I could actually taste them. Naturally my hands danced their way up his defined arms and over his shoulders, draping themselves so if he were to pull away I would be able to pull him back in.

It had been so long since we had kissed, and the long wait had built up so much emotion, so many feelings, that they all began to pour out through this single touch. I couldn't help but force down a smile at how careful he was being with me, how perfectly he was trying to execute such a simple thing.

He moved and I moved with him, letting the kiss deepen to the point where our tongues clashed hastily against each other, each driven to become as connected as possible through the passionate kiss. Not being able to hold it back anymore a quiet moan escaped my mouth, at the sound the grip on my waist tightened and before I knew it we were on the couch, a mess of arms and legs as I tried to regain my posture where he laid me on top of him.

Slowly I pulled up and away from the eagerness of Raphael. Looking down at him I smirked as he looked back at me with wanting eyes. "Tell me what you want me to do." I whispered with a grin as I repeated the same words he had uttered to me just moments before. Grabbing the back of my head, pulling me close he whispered his answer with the hint of a smirk on his face.

"Kiss me."

It was all I needed to indulge once more in the taste of his lips. Crashing together more fiercely now I didn't hold back, my fingers traced their way all over his body, exploring as if I had never touched him before. I couldn't help the sounds escaping my throat, the heat inside me, pushing me to dive deeper.

I had lost myself inside my own thoughts as they raced through my mind, what would happen from here? Millions of images plagued my mind, all equally embarrassing to be contemplating, but I knew they were truly what I desired when I looked deeper into my feelings for Raphael. Another question filled my mind, was it possible?

My mind wandered to April and Donnie, _yes,_ it was _extremely_ possible...

It wasn't until my fingers traced their way through the crack on the top of his plastron that I was jolted out of my thoughts. Instantly he pulled away, staring at me with disbelief. It wasn't until after a short stare down that I had realized my mistake, and covered my mouth with the back of my hand as if it would withhold the laughter.

I had forgotten how sensitive the crack on his shell was, and when we were younger it had often been the butt of many jokes. Raphael's achilles heal, was his one true physical weakness, and many times I had ended up using it against him. "Brat." He murmured, but the grin on his face betrayed him. Letting the laughter escape me now, I was helplessly pushed down and somehow found myself under Raphael, his face beaming with humor.

"You think you're funny?" I asked, my voice sarcastic.

"Actually I do." He blatantly replied, the smirk on his face growing wider, until once more neither of us could resist the tension any longer.

My heart beat slowed down now, getting used to the feel of his lips on mine. I hadn't kissed him in so long the feeling was making me dizzy, almost in a drunken stupor. My god, I had missed this the most.

Neither of us pulled away until the distant thump of a car door closing dragged us out of our tangle of arms and legs. "He's home." I hurriedly whispered, having forgotten the only other person who lived in the cabin beside Raph and I. With a blush creeping up into my face, and his eyes widening in horror, we both pulled away seconds before the doorknob creaked open.

"Home!" Casey yelled half-way through the doorway, not even bothering to look up I quickly said my hello's and kept my gaze straight forward, trained on the tv that wasn't even on. I couldn't let him see my face, he'd figure out what had happened, and even though he knew Raphael and I were a thing again, the thought of Casey having that small glimpse into my personal life was revolting.

Unlike me, being completely able to adjust to the situation, Raph quickly greeted Casey, offering to help him with the bags of groceries he was dragging in. As they both passed behind me on the way to the kitchen I caught a whiff of Casey. Coffee and perfume, and a mix of something else I couldn't quite get down. Raph sent me a wink from the doorway of the kitchen and I just shook my head with that knowing smirk.

Casey had been gone for hours again, this mystery girl was beginning to take up a lot of his time. Not that it bothered me anyway. I sighed letting my head fall to my hands in embarrassment. Stifling a chuckle I just smiled stupidly into the palms on my hand, rubbing my eyes wearily.

It was like the lair life all over again. Except there was little to no privacy there, someone was always barging in at the most awful of time. Most usually Mikey, sometimes Casey, even Leo once.

My smile dropped at the thought of the name. Leo, was he better? Was he okay yet? If so why hadn't April contacted any of us. I groaned running my fingers through my hair. Leonardo...his name brought the nasty memory of him straddling my hips, his katana blade to my head, the image of him lying limp on the forest ground as his brother carried me away.

With these grotesque images though, came another set of memories. Being wrapped in his arms as we watched space heroes, him always being the first one to comfort me, crying on his shoulder as he whispered in my ear how everything would be alright as long as he was by my side. A friendship one way, an unrequited love the other.

Taking my mind off the blue clad brother for a moment, I leaned back against the couch. The sunlight outside had begun to fade away into darkness once more, bringing with it a drop in temperature. Another cold night, of course.

With blood rushing to my cheeks again, I couldn't help but smirk at the thought of how warm I'd be if I could bunk with Raph for the night. Pushing the thought away, shaking my head at my own selfish desires, I returned to my spot by the window, watching the fleeting sun disappear over the mountain tops.

...

Leonardo sighed, the sun was setting over the snow capped tree tops of the woods and April had already sent the kids to bed after a long days worth of play in the snow. Yawning he trailed his fingertips over the cool glass pane, maybe it was time for him to retire for the night too. "Leo?" A gentle voice called form behind, knowing already who it was he turned to her with a warm smile. "Yeah April?" he asked, watching as the drained mother leaned against the kitchen door frame, a dishcloth in her hands and a smirk on her face.

Standing over the sink, rinsing the soap of the freshly cleaned dishes April huffed, her hands pruned from the hot water. Leo graciously took the plates and cups from her hands as she handed them off to be dried. For a few moment they didn't speak, this was customary, most of their conversations were private anyway, and the five minutes of silence was just to make sure Don and Mikey or the kids by any chance, had retired away for the day and wouldn't be bothering them. Today was no different.

She smiled, looking at him with worried eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked, knowing it was safe to start a convo now with no intended interruptions.

She hummed, shaking her head. "Nothing, I'm just think about stuff." She confessed. "...Old stuff."

"Like what?" he asked with a smirk, April was always thinking, never giving her brain a brake. "Like our old life." She whispered, all traces of joy drained from her eyes now as she scrubbed away.

Leo let the silence dance around in the air for a while before speaking again. "I miss it too April." he said, his eyes turned to her, looking for a response.

More silence.

"I never asked you before Leo, but what happened between you and Karai?" April said, her eyes focusing on the grime of the new plate she had just picked up. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, Karai had always been a touchy subject, but now maybe it was time to shine some light on it and find out what had really happened those few years ago.

Leo stiffened under her question, and though he wished he could close his eyes and forget the name that had just came out of his friends mouth, he knew he would be confronted with the girl of his past at some point. "What about her? Shredder died and she took over the clan." he managed to spit out, though he knew there was a rather large part of the story he had left out to both their benefits. He couldn't help but feel as if April would pry it out of him one way or another though.

April smirked, "I know you liked her Leo, I know there had to be more to the story than that!" She said looking to him for a different response.

Leo just sighed, against his will his mind flashed images of the black clad kunochi across the backs of his eyelids. Her snake-like eyes boring holes right through him. He had hopelessly fallen for her within their first encounter, he knew he had to have her, even if she was the enemies daughter.

She broke his heart though, their nightly meetings came to a halt suddenly after the death of her father, and after a little spying he had come to find her the new master of the foot clan. He had promised her they could be together if she would just leave her clan, she said she would've considered it but never showed again to give him his answer.

"Look, April, I really liked her but the feelings faded. It's nothing." He knew very well though that it wasn't just nothing. He had fallen in love with the enemy, and while she broke his heart he quickly found another to dull the ache.

Alex.

He winced at the name just as he had done at Karai's. Alex, he had almost killed her with his own hands, how could he have let himself do that! Cursing himself for his weakness over his mental illness he sighed, knowing April had healed him fully and that in time his relationship with Alex would hopefully heal.

She had come along just at the perfect timing. The minute he had laid eyes on her he knew she would be the perfect distraction, and in distracting himself with her, he had fallen again. He couldn't help but to fall for her. She was everything he had seen in Karai, when she would train with his brothers, he would picture her in black, playfully fighting back against him on a lone rooftop in the dead of night. When she laughed he saw the way her eyes lit up just like Karai's had, and their smiles matched perfectly.

It wasn't until Alex had fallen for his brother that he began to fall back into his pit of despair.

He almost forgot he was having a conversation with April until she nudged his arm with a dish that needed drying that he was brought back to reality. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Got caught up in the past?" She cut him off with a knowing smile. "You know, sometimes I can go into peoples dreams, see what their thinking about even." She chuckled, not knowing if she should indulge him on the next part.

"Nights when I can't sleep I look to Karai" She looked up at Leo with a smile, humor gone form her face now. "When she's not dreaming about slicing someone's head off...she's dreaming about you." Her heart fluttered for the hopeless romantic as he heard mention of his old love's dreams. They were of him, his eyes lit up with hope, and a smile threatened to pull up on his face.

"Really?" Leo whispered, wondering where Karai was suddenly, the overwhelming urge to go to her consumed him.

"Really, really." April whispered back with a smirk handing him the last plate to be dried.

* * *

**Sorry I had to cut it short there but I'm still trying to find more ways to make this story exciting again. Thank you all so much for your continued support of this story, but unfortunately chapters may be coming out later and later, I'm swamped with homework already for my classes and I apologize. I promise though I will not put this story on hiatus, or abandoned it, I already have an ending in mind (; though it may be chapters away yet. Let me know what you think, your reviews really help me write, and honestly they do more than just that, they really do brighten my day!**


	23. Chapter 23

**_*Sighs* Well, I managed to get out the next chapter for you all but it's not without it's bad news. I've been so preoccupied with college I've hardly given thought to this story, and where it's heading. I have some very vague ideas, but nothing is solid yet, I may need a little more time that usual to develop the next chapter. I have to admit, this is not my best work this chapter, and it's pretty short compared to others. _**

**_I also know this is no place to share with you all my personal life, but I've had a very traumatic week to say the least, so if you could cut me a little slack just this once. Also thank you all so much for your reviews, I love seeing what you guys write, and whenever you give me ideas over reviews, or pm it really helps me with the story. Remember, for those reading this, you are my network of support, and I rely on you guys to help me along. Your reviews really do mean the world to me! (:_**

**_And with that little spiel, the next chapter..._**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Three

As I stare out these empty windows I realize now that this may not be my final stop along the road. I am not, nor was I ever tied down here, there are no memories I hold of this place. I came here seeking refuge, and that is all I received, not a home, only a temporary comfort. I long for the company of the others more than ever now, for Mikey's waffles, and Donnie's bad jokes, for the image of April sitting next to me on the old porch swing of the old farmhouse.

I can't explain this feeling, it compels me forward, sends me longingly to the window everyday in hopes that for once my lost company may come. Though I do love Casey's long talks about nothingness, and Raphael's warm embrace, I miss the togetherness of family that I had left behind at the farmhouse.

We need to leave, to go back. I can feel April beckoning me home, back to our family. The cabin was an adventure, but it was only that, an escape of the memory of another I had left behind at the farmhouse. I have already talked to Raph about it, and he tried to persuade me to stay, just a little bit longer, but I saw the lust in his eyes before I saw the truth. There is only one thing keeping Raphael from going back, and that is privacy.

I had traded out my bed in the loft for another downstairs in the only other bedroom weeks ago. I can't say I regret my decision but I may have over indulged myself a little too much. So much that I can't even help myself around him anymore, at the first sound of the van leaving the driveway we always find each other at an instant, the rest is always a blur from there.

These feelings though, they are true, I know they are. I feel like my heart stops when I see him, he becomes my only vision, my only light...I love him. And this isn't that teenage infatuation, this is the real thing now. It's obvious he isn't like me, he is not human, though he is at the same time _extraordinarily_ human. I love him, and that's it, his personality, his aura, his being. I do believe he is my one love, my soulmate even...

I had told him this too, maybe I was a little under the influence and my thoughts had been hazy, but I knew they were true words when I said them. He looked at me then with such a sadness in his eyes that I thought I had hurt him by my words, I thought he could never convey the same feelings back...but then he took me in his arms and kissed me so fiercely I thought my soul had left my body. The alcohol had heightened my senses, but I knew he had never kissed me before with such passion.

I only remember him uttering one word that night, a word that has been lingering in the back for my mind since then. A word so simple, yet taken to heart.

"Forever." The word itself was a promise, a promise I knew I would hold onto.

After that I was swept away, down a dark hallway, to a dimly lit bedroom where I'm even embarrassed to say what had happened. Though in my drunken stupor I can recall every last minute, every fleeting feeling of pure bliss as he wrapped me in his arms and promised to never let go.

Since that night I've been wrapped up in his sheets, waking up every morning to his bright emerald green eyes, eyes that are no longer clouded with darkness and shadows. Eyes that have seen all of me, that have accepted me completely, and in return I had showed him I accepted him too, every green skinned muscle, every scar along his beaten-out body. I had never once in my life thought I would be able to share part of me with another, never once thought that anyone would truly accept me for who I am.

I feel as if I'm bound to him now, and him to me. It may just be because I've never had another person love me so fiercely, so passionately. I had opened up for him like the petals of a blooming flower, so hesitantly, but delicately, softly.

My heart throbs just thinking about it. Some days I look at him and I envision us sitting in his bedroom at the lair, our last night together, the first time I told him I loved him, and the first time he had said it back. I see myself lying in his arms as the rest of the family had gone to bed, he kept me from my nightmares, from the pain. His old self has started to shine through once again, with his snide comments, and his temper flares. He even pushes me around sometimes, egging me on to try and start something with him.

We spar in the woods under the morning light, and under the light of the stars we fall asleep together...most nights anyways. I can't understand how or why I ended up with him, but I'm thankful for him. He is my rock, and I hope wherever he goes, he'll let me follow.

I can convince him to go back though, I know he'll give in. But then there is one more who stands in my way of going home.

Casey Jones.

He is tied here, by his own will, and by another. Originally I thought he was just using this mystery girl to fool around with, an excuse to get out of the cabin. But one day Casey woke me up early when I was still sleeping in the loft, and he actually took me to town, to a little coffee shop on the main drag with a huge grin plastered to his face.

That's where I met her, and once I had realized Casey had dragged me all the way there just to meet this girl, I knew he was serious about her and wouldn't leave now. He was ready to start a new life, and he even confessed to me that he was thinking about moving in with her. He told me he thought he loved her...

She was beautiful, and her name was Sloane, and she sat so close to Casey that day in the coffee shop I could smell the infatuation coming off of them. Her smile was a little cocky, and her jokes rivalled Casey's on the jack-assy side, she even told me she skated down at the arena for competitions on weekends, and drabbled in hockey on the side. That's when I knew Casey had gotten over April, maybe this was the end of the road for him now. They seemed to fit together nicely.

She was sweet too, a kind of sweet that reminded me of April, and when Casey and I had said goodbye to Sloane and headed back to the cabin, I had confessed to him I had thought about going back to the farmhouse, and I wouldn't hold him to it to come with me. I had left the choice in his hands, and I knew he would choose the new path, with fresh beginnings. He was ready to leave the past in the dust, his old life had not been very kind to him.

I wish he would come, but if he wants to stay, who am I to stop him from doing just that. The snow is starting to melt, and with every new sunrise I feel the urge to return home grow. I will leave soon, I promised myself that much. I dream of the days where I can train Oliver again, my little prodigy, when I can share my memories with Wren, and just relax with Mikey. It's been months now, and I can't take it anymore.

It has to happen this week.

...

He watched her with eyes full of wonder and thought as she once again stood stationed at the window side, staring out into the empty world before her. He knew her mind was an endless pit of jumbled thoughts, and unspoken words, and often just let her stand there, eyes clouded over in concentration.

He couldn't think of a single being more extraordinary, and out of some small shot of fate, she had become his. It was a miracle, finding someone who could actually love someone like him, let alone be around him without getting freaked out. He was a monster, and he had thought for so many years that not one single person could ever love him, even lay eyes on him without screaming and running away.

But there she was, the first night they had fatefully met he knew there was something special about her. She had been feisty, arrogant; a teenage girl so hell bent on doing things her own way she had never even thanked him for saving her life. He laughed now at the memory, one she had shown him just a few days ago as they laid in bed together, neither wanting to get up and start the day. He could still feel the warm spark that ran through his head and over his eyelids at the touch of her palm to his cheek, sending the memories straight from her mind to his.

After that they had just laughed about their first encounter and pulled the sheets up around themselves once more, to dive back into the activities of the previous night.

Looking back now, he couldn't say what had really made him fall in love with her in the beginning; maybe it was her understanding of him, or her acceptance of his brothers. Now though, he knew every feeling he had ever felt towards her before was nothing compared to the way he felt this very moment...

They would be leaving soon, he told her he would follow her, and so he was. He had already packed up a few things, and started loading up the van. They would leave the bike here with Casey, and that morning Alex would take the van full of Casey's things down to the little apartment above the coffee shop and say goodbye. After a quick stop at the grocery store, they would be on their way back to the farmhouse, back to the family.

He wondered about Leo, about April and Don. What would happen when they returned? Was Leo better now, or would he try to hurt any one of them again? He knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself this time if he saw Leo attack Alex, his brother wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight either if he was still sick.

Something in him told him though, that Leo was healed, that he was healthy, and getting back into training and normal life. It was supposed to be a grateful thought, but he couldn't help but feel that if Leo had returned to normal, that meant his feelings once healed for Alex would return also...

I guess he would just have to find out.

* * *

**So I guess I made this kind of a filler chapter, to show the time skip before they returned to the farmhouse, and everything that has changed regarding the relationship between Raph and Alex. Kind of a boring chapter, but there will be more happening in the next few chapters, I promise. **

**Just to note, the story is now well into late winter, and the snow is starting to melt. Casey IS leaving the story, but I might throw in some little blurbs once in a while from his point of view, because who could ever forget Casey completely. If you couldn't pick up the little hints among the chapter, Alex and Raph are pretty deep into their relationship, I mean, _very deep._**

**Please, for the love of all things tmnt, leave me something to read. I need a break from this bs college homework, and what better distraction than your reviews. Seriously, leave me one word, or an entire paragraph, I love EVERYTHING! Oh and how annoying was Casey in the season three finale, seriously, I wish he was less of an imbecile. **

**Again, thanks for reading!**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Before you start this chapter I just have a few things to say. Firstly thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed, seriously you make writing so rewarding for me. So please keep leaving reviews, because they mean the world to me, the really do! Also, I've been thinking that this story might be able to be wrapped up around chapter thirty or thirty-one, I'm not really sure where I'll end it, but when I do if you guys want just a little more I'll be happy to keep going. **_

_**Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I took the focus away from the cabin life for a little while in case people were interested in what was going on elsewhere. Also this is kind a big time leap, it is now March in this story!**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty Four

Karai took her time climbing the fire escape to the rooftops. It had been a long day, and the start of an exhausting night. She would be running her own patrol group, one that would search the heart of the city checking outposts, places she knew should be inhabited, but weren't. She didn't know what had happened to her clan, but the majority of them were gone, just…gone. The city, she knew was mysterious place now, it was no longer that beloved congregation of skyscrapers and bustling streets, it was a desolate wasteland. Those who tried to come back never ended up staying very long. There was no hope left for the city.

And now half of the foot had gone missing. If they were to move posts she would have been notified, but there was no trace of them for miles. Finally reaching the edge of the roof she peeked over, making sure it was deserted, then hauled herself up with a grunt.

These rooftops she supposed were her only refuge, her place to think, to breath. A place so simple, yet so full of life, and countless memories. The tops of the city had been her escape form her fathers gruesome rule, and the back of his hand, yet also a place where she found her first love, shared her first kiss. Both amazing, and dissatisfactory memories clung to this place, yet both kinds were equally as tragic.

The image of a young blue clad ninja, just across the concrete from her, eyeing her down with a taunting smirk danced around in her head. She reached out for him, but this memory was old, faded. He was just another tragic remembrance.

She wondered where he had ended up, in the grasp of death? Or was he alive, breathing, and smiling once more? She didn't know why it still mattered to her, but it clawed at the back of her mind everyday. She was supposed to be strong, nothing should be able to weaken her senses, to bring her down to the emotional level of everyone else. Her father had forced her into being the brutish leader she was today, she had him to thank for her very lacking, yet somewhat present emotional turbulence.

She sighed, rubbing the back of her gloved hand over her eyelids. They would be looking for her soon, Grant and a few others to begin the patrols. Patrols she knew would turn up useless once more. There was nothing left of the city, and now with the feared desertion of her clan, she gave thought to the idea of leaving.

She could forget her past, wipe the slate clean for once in her life. A small house on the side of a hill sounded nice to her, away from civilization, away from the city…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of feet padding around on cement. She turned to face him, already knowing who it was, he was the only other one who knew where she would be at this hour. "That time already?" She asked with a small smirk, sighing now, knowing this was the end of her time to herself. "I'm sorry to say so, but yes." He said back, with the hint of a grin playing on his face. She could tell he was growing wearily of this place too.

"I know it's not in my duty to share with you my personal opinion being head of the clan, but I think that matter of leadership has already been thrown out the window." She admitted with a forced exhale, watching him with careful eyes. After Alex had left the clan, Grant had taken her place as second in command. He was a great solider, always so focused on the mission, and so dedicated to the clan, she knew she would be able to confide in him with any matter. "I think it's time we leave, Grant." She confessed, rubbing her hand over her eyelids once more in a show of how exhausted she was with this place.

Grant just looked at her with a blank expression trying to read her face to see if she was being serious, then with a long exhale turned his gaze out over the city. The sun had begun to set and with the shadows casting a cloud of darkness over the buildings, and into the streets, you could almost forget what it really looked like now as the night sky began to cover up the reality of things. "It's not my place to make these decisions, but I agree." He admitted, "Half the clan's gone Karai, this city is dead."

She just nodded in response. "Round the clan up, we leave tonight."

…

A half hour later the entire foot clan, or at least what was left of it, at least eighty soldiers, had all been herded into the main lobby of the building where they awaited their leader. Karai sighed, taking one last look at Grant to her left before she looked out into the crowd of faces, all waiting on her.

There were no formal greetings in a clan meeting, just business, so she decided to just give it to them straight.

"I know you have all heard of the desertion of the majority of our clan," She began, and in her words she saw nods and an unanimous affirmative grunt could be heard through the crowd. "I'm also sure some of you have considered doing the same." Again, an eruption of whispered words broke out among the group, as people sent knowing glances to one another.

She sighed not really sure if she was ready to take this step with the clan, but knew she must. "As leader, seeing the struggles of my people is not something I take joy in, no." She paced around for a few steps before turning to the crowd once more. Her tone unwavering now, she knew this was bound to happen at some point. "But, I am not the leader my father was, and as you all can see over half the clan is missing here tonight, so instead of the rest of you deserting dishonorably, I'm offering a different route, one already previously thought of."

More whispering, but she ignored it. She was never the leader in her own mind, and wishing she could compare in the least to her father, she knew she was never meant to rule for this long. "I have decided this clan no longer serves it original purpose, and so it has been the executive decision of mine, to bring our family to an end." She sighed as an eruption of yelps and cries erupted throughout the crowd. These people before her were faithful, taking the oath of the clan for life, and now she had erased their purpose...

Taking in a deep breath she turned back to Grant who gave her the nod to continue.

"After tonight, the oath you all took at the beginning of your membership will no longer bind you to this clan. You are free to wander now, I encourage you to all wipe the slate clean, but please know that I will carry the memory of this family in my heart forever and I hope you do the same." With that the lump in her throat grew, and fresh tears threatened to burn her eyes as she bowed one last time to her group of soldiers. She swore that moment could have lasted forever as the sting of the dead silence drew on.

She dared to look into the crowd as she stood back up, and a choked sob escaped her throat as she witnessed the scene before her. Every single last one of them, was bowing, to her. Something they had only ever done around her father.

Then, silence as they all stood back up and started to file through the doors, back to their rooms, their posts, to gather what the needed. She noticed some held tears in their eyes also, this clan under her rule had grown into a family, it was hard saying goodbye to your family. She knew none of them knew where to go now, maybe the runaways would return to their actual families, some she knew would turn to the purple dragons, and some, well they may just run to the country-side like her.

"It needed to be done." A firm hand clamped down in her shoulder, and she shuddered, the image of her father standing before her plagued her mind, but looking up she realized it was just grant.

"I know, but I have no other family." She admitted, feeling hopeless now. What would a home in the countryside be like without the company of others. Her clan had always surrounded her, always protected and been there to hold their leader up, now what would life be like on her own.

"Are you sure about that?" Grant asked, a smirk pulling up on his face. She looked at him quizzically. "What are you saying Grant?" She asked.

He just sighed, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "I'm saying, I think you should go find Alex." He said, his face serious, and his eyes hopeful she would agree.

Karai just shook her head, trying to fend off a sad grin. "Alex went back to her old family, I-I couldn't."

"It's almost been a year since she left, I saw the way you guys bonded, you were true sisters. I don't think she would hate you for dropping by for a visit." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. She contemplated the thought in her head, and fresh tears began to sting at her eyes again as she realized just how much she actually missed Alex. Not wanting to look weak in front of a comrade she quickly shook the tears off, drying her eyes with the back of her gloved hand.

"You don't have to be strong in front of me, just promise when you find her, you'll give her my love? I miss her too, everyday." The brute admitted, placing a reassuring hand on his leaders shoulder. The lobby was empty now, and the two stood alone, accepting now the reality that things would drastically change from here on. Karai just looked at him through clouded eyes, and nodded. "I will."

* * *

"April, lemme just say that THIS is the best soup, I've ever tasted!" Mikey exclaimed, and Wren squealed in agreement. April just let out a small laugh, and a thanks, and the family went back to dinner. This was normal, as whenever Mikey didn't cook dinner, he made sure to tell April how great of a cook she was. She didn't know if it was because he really just enjoyed her cooking, or that he just wanted to make her smile. Sometimes she felt as if Mikey was the only one who really ever took any notice in how exhausted and worn out she always looked now. "Seriously, mmmm-mmm!" He smiled, licking his lips, and April just grinned at him. Mikey was her saving grace, at times his innocence, and child-like antics really brightened her day.

It had been a long day too, trying to reach through to Alex, and take care of the house and everyone in it at the same time. She sighed now, with dinner over and her hands wrist deep in the scaling dish water, she didn't know if she would even be able to make it up the stairs to bed. It had been another two weeks, and now well into March she was wondering if her three missing family members would ever return.

She had felt something in her heart though, a yearning sensation that had sent her to the window every night in hopes of seeing headlights in the driveway. It was odd, something she had never been compelled to do before, but she felt as if they could arrive at any moment now and she just had to keep making sure so she would be able to welcome them back as soon as they stepped foot in the driveway.

Sighing she retrieved her hands from the water, realizing the dishes had long since been finished, and her thoughts had yet again distracted her for a good amount of time. She rubbed her pruned hands dry with a small towel and lazily tossed it on the counter, rubbing her hands over her eyes and down her neck. It had been too long, she decided, too long since Alex had left with Casey and Raphael. She could help but let the overwhelming feeling of loneliness consume her now that everyone had run off to bed without so much as a backwards glance her way. Even Leo, who would jump at every opportunity to help her had seemed reluctant to lend a hand lately, she could tell he was preoccupied, his dreams told her that much.

Ever since she had spilled about Karai having been hung up on Leo still, that's been his main focus, her...It was amazing to her at first how such unimportant information could turn someone around like that, but now she was beginning to worry about him again. There was no way in hell he would get the chance to see her again, would he? But at the same time she was rooting for him, she wanted him to find love, and she knew he wouldn't find it with Alex, she was already wrapped up in the arms of another, a faint blush crept to her cheeks remembering what Alex's dreams had shown her. It seemed the two had gotten close, very close. Maybe even too close, Don and her had been that way once too, and now they had two little demons running around who seemed to have a limitless supply of energy.

Donnie, just the thought of his name made her huff in defeat. Once they had been inseparable, of course they were teenagers back then, she had thought the world would've stopped just upon hearing him tell her he loved her for the first time. They used to get away with so much under the nose of Master Splinter, it had almost become a game, how openly can we make out without anyone catching us? She looked back at the memories now and wished there was a was to turn back time. To once again look at the fifteen year old Donnie, and have to hide a blush under his puppy-dog gaze.

She loved him though, not in the way she used to but more so in a matured way now. They had both grown up, well were forced to grow up following the invasion, and now look at them. They had raised a family, they were a family...

So them why did she feel like this.

As soon as the weather had cleared up, the barn had been put back to use and Don had locked himself away in there every night since then. Working on "blueprints"...for what? She had no idea, but she did know she craved his touch more than ever now. Some nights he wouldn't even come to bed, he would fall asleep wherever his work had left him and she would be forced to pretend he was beside her just for the comfort of having another around...

Tears welled up in her eyes just thinking about it. She knew Donnie loved her, so then why couldn't he get his head out of his ass and show it! She wiped at her eyes, quickly getting rid of any evidence of tears. She sighed, she couldn't blame him though, this year, hell every year since the invasion had been rough, and it seemed like their light at the end of the tunnel had been quickly diminishing to nothing but a visible speck in the distance.

Before her thoughts could get to her anymore she heard a pattering of feet upstairs and anxiously pushed a strand of her bangs behind her ear. Someone was up, and she suspected it was Wren. Deciding to meet her on the stairwell to steer her back to bed she found her way there, awaiting the toddler...but she never came. Climbing the stairs she heard the soft breathing of the tiny tot, and at now at eyelevel with the second floor, she saw her daughter perched anxiously on her knees, grasping with her tiny palms at the window to the front of the yard.

"Wren, baby, it's past your bedtime." April whispered, not wanting to wake up anyone else. Expecting her daughter's cheeky smile to meet her any minute with a smart remark, she was puzzled when she was left in silence. Wren didn't even give her the benefit of turning around to acknowledge her. Sighing, she pushed her way up the rest of the stairs, and found her way over to the toddler. "Wren?"

Following her gaze out the window she realized what her daughter had been entranced with.

Headlights.

* * *

**Remember to leave a review!(:**


	25. Chapter 25

**Yay! I got another chapter out, after literally a month! I'm so sorry for the wait but I've just been so busy, you know typical college shenanigans. I wish I could hug you all for all the reviews you've left me, lets see if we can get up to ten this chapter! I honestly should be doing a lab report instead of updating but it's my birthday! (*dances around in background*), What better gift to myself than a new chapter! With that...I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you think! Thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five.

The first feeling that came to April was overwhelming joy, excitement beyond belief that her family had returned, then…the fleeting feeling of anxiousness and wonder. Could it be them? They had been gone so long that she couldn't even remember the way the van had looked, and she knew they had left with the bike too, but there was only one pair of headlights in the driveway, and the longer she stared into them the more nervous she became.

"Mommy?" The worry could be heard in her daughters voice too as they both watched with curious eyes, waiting to see just who would step foot out of the vehicle.

Then, the headlights went out and a surge of panic took over. Scooping Wren up she whispered to her specific instructions to stay in her room until she knew who it was. Letting the little toddler run to her room with scared eyes, she turned and headed for her own room where she knew Donnie would be sleeping.

Maybe she was over-reacting but the thought that there would be stragglers from the city looking for a place to take shelter had been running through her mind ever since they set up a home here. She had never fully prepared for this situation, and upon the thought that the people getting out of the car now may not be who she thought they were, she was not even close to being prepared to defend her family.

"Donnie!" She whispered, her voice was strained as she tried not to yell. She let the thought of intruders getting into her home fester in her mind and she shoved Don awake with urgent eyes. "What!" Donnie whispered back, rubbing his eyelids with the backs of his hands.

"There's someone outside." She said, and the way she had said it she knew he would understand. Instantly he pushed himself out of bed, and looked at her with curious eyes. "It could be them." He whispered against the darkness, watching the outline of her figure as she stared back at him with worry painted in her crystal blue orbs.

"Something tells me it's not." She sighed, pushing strands of hair behind her ear. "Something isn't right…I can feel it." She put her hand on his shoulder as if trying to convey to him how she was feeling in that moment, she didn't even have to say anything else though, Donnie knew she was being serious and he couldn't jeopardize his family by ignoring her. They still had enemies out there, he was wondering when they would start showing up again.

…

The van rolled to a stop and she could feel her eyelids slipping shut as the sound of the soft rain hitting the windshield drown out the world around her. Her head had been killing her since they had made it to the halfway point, and even with short naps, and a few painkillers, she wasn't feeling any better.

"I feel like my insides want out right now." She mumbled, letting out a soft groan as her abdomen tightened and cramped with every move she made.

"You'll be fine." The gruff voice in the driver's seat said back, rubbing the back of his head nervously. Ever since they had left the cabin, Alex had been complaining about the pain she was in, and how it just wouldn't quit. They had already pulled over four times just so she could spill her guts, and he couldn't understand just what the hell had gone wrong.

He flicked off the headlights, and killed the engine.

He sighed and rested his forehead to the steering wheel as she grabbed anxiously at the door handle, whipping it open and tumbling out just as her stomach began turning over on her again. He cringed at the noises, but he was no doctor, what the hell was he supposed to do for her, my god it sounded like she was dying.

"You need anything?" He asked, his voice gentle, but tired.

"No." She whimpered back and he could hear the pain in her voice and knew she was fighting every instinct to ask for help right now. She was strong as hell but whatever was going on with her was tearing her up, and he had no way to understand, or even help.

He heard her boots on the gravel as she walked around to the back of the van to sit down for a minute, catch a break.

They had stopped just outside the city, and the skyscrapers could be seen under the light of the moon, but it didn't make any aspect of it any more inviting. He had forgotten about the city, and hoped when they got back to the farmhouse it would stay that way. He didn't want to remember, didn't want to have those terrible, damned memories.

"Shit" he mumbled, finding Alex passed out, slumped up against the back of the van, her eyes closed shut, and her body unmoving. "Alex?" Raph questioned, instantly moving to her side to try and prod her awake, yet no answer, not even a mumble. "Fuck." He swore a little louder, as he looped his arms around her and brought her back to the passenger seat. Strapping her in she gave little movement to indicate she was still alive and he firmly pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before climbing back up into the driver's seat and taking off. They still had a long ways to go, and he was beginning to wish they had never left the cabin.

Now with the darkness fully closing in, and the love of his life passed out in the seat next to him, he was beginning to question just how amazing it was he was even here right now, beside her. After she began to stir again, and the occasional incoherent mumble escaped her mouth, he began to relax and for the first time in a while let his mind wander to more serious matters.

He knew that human love could get serious, and many days he had watched from rooftops, or under the shadows of the grates to see just how they interacted, to try and make himself like them, to feel more...human. They laughed over coffee, they held hands, they kissed, they confessed their love over a slice of fresh pizza, or fro-yo. He knew he would never be able to hold that kind of relationship with another person, until now. She was amazing, and even when he first met her after saving her from the kraang he knew she was something special. I mean who else would instantly start bitching at him for saving their hides? Only her.

He smiled, remembering that night. She wasn't as high strung anymore, and even the bright light within her had begun to fade away. She was lost, her life was a winding path that had dragged her from place to place never truly giving her a space to call "home". To her home meant Sicily, and he knew she couldn't return there, it would be to dangerous. Many nights she had talked about it with some glimmer of hope in her eyes, but she knew it was out of the question. Her fighting, and adventuring days were over.

It was time to hold on to what she had left in her life, and this was it, he knew she wanted the farmhouse to be the end of the line, to ride out the rest of her days with April and the guys just like old times. At the age of eighteen she had already accepted she would be wasting her life away with him in a little run down house, and he loved her for that.

He had always envied April and Don's relationship, they were running a household together and he saw the love in his brother's eyes for April, he knew it was the same way he looked at Alex. Love, he thought he would never be able to feel love for anyone besides his family, especially not some human girl.

He glanced over at her, her outline illuminated from the lights on the dash. He wished he was human so he could give her everything she ever wanted. A house in the mountains, dates out on the town, even a family. There was nothing he wanted more than to just hand her the world, to love her until they both faded back into the earth. Sighing he let his mind wander to the more physical side of her, letting that distract him from the overwhelming worry bubbling up in his mind over her current state. "Just a few more hours." He whispered, hoping she would hear him. "I'll keep you safe."

...

(Alex p.o.v)

The entire ride home I couldn't find myself able to drive. Raphael had done that for me, taking the risk of getting pulled over rather than me driving off the road completely. My head ached and with every wave of pain, every inch of my body shuddered, like some delayed shock.

Ever since we had dropped off Casey and left the cabin I could feel something. It wasn't any specific kind of pain though, and I had rolled through the first hour with just minor aches and casual pin pricks. Now as we inched closer to the farmhouse I could no longer tell what reality was and what was just my imagination.

My eyesight blurred, my head pounded like it could explode any minute, and throughout the last remaining hours I had completely blacked out. My last memory the view from the back side of the van, the last voice I had heard was Raphael cursing as my body became weightless. My body figuring it would rather succumb to shutting itself down rather than experience whatever the hell was happening.

The only thing is I think I would have rather dealt with the pain than live through the darkness of sleep.

There was something that lurked in my dreams that I hadn't encountered in so long I had almost forgotten about it. It was a shadow, a myth of a fantasy I once prayed for.

A child.

I had named her Eva when she had begun haunting me in my mind, playing with my emotions. Now I wish I had given her no name at all.

She is beautiful, I must admit, and since the last time I had seen her in my dreams she had seemed to grow. This time, as I lay passed out in the passenger seat of the van, she appeared to me in her human form, her hair mousey brown like mine, her eyes a striking emerald that seemed to peer right through me. In the darkness I just stared at her, taking her in as she walked towards me, her arms outstretched, the smile on her face seemingly happy to see me again.

"What do you want." I growled, flinching at the pained tone in my voice. I knew I was dreaming, but even in sleep I could still feel the pain that had followed me since we left the cabin. The child didn't halt, didn't seem hurt by my words, instead she just cocked her head to the side as if she didn't understand what I had just said.

"Why?" I simply asked, why couldn't I get her out of my head, why wouldn't she leave me alone. She just looked at me quizzically again before ending her trek over to me just inches from my feet. Sitting in the cool darkness the way I was, I still had some height on her, though not enough to force me to look down upon her.

As much as I wanted to turn her away, to scream until she fled, I couldn't. When I looked into her eyes I saw the one I fell in love with, the one I wanted to spend the rest of my days with. In her eyes I saw Raphael, and even if the rest of her looked like me I couldn't bring myself to curse her out of my mind.

I knew from visions and dreams that she was the supposed child of Raphael, my child. I had watched from afar in my own imagination our little family unit playing and laughing in fields of flowers, smiling as if the world was not so cruel, as if death was non existent.

She was a fantasy, I had always dreamed of having my own child, someone who I could protect, teach, watch grow. Someone who shared my blood. There was a cruel joke within this dream of mine though, the reason I wished I could forget about the child, forget about her face...I was barren.

I couldn't have kids. I could never bring this child inside my mind to reality; I could never make her existence real.

…

April crept down the stairs with Donatello by her side, both armed and ready for whatever was about to enter their porch. It could be her family finally returning to her from the cabin, but she could sense there was only one person in their midst. Something was wrong, and she was as prepared as she could be for the potential attack on her family.

It was odd, having her tessen back in her hands, like an old friend from the past. Seeing Donnie with his bow staff even brought on a number of memories she couldn't help but smile at. She pictured a much younger Don leaning against the very same staff, eyeing her down with his gap toothed smile.

In the midst of nostalgia the sound of a car door shutting drew them both out of their inner thoughts as both flinched at the noise. "Who do you think it could be?" April asked, her voice gentle and quiet even though whoever was out there probably couldn't even hear her, let alone know she was waiting for them.

"If it's not Alex, Raph, or Casey, I honestly have no clue." Don whispered back, following in April's steps, ready for the door to burst open any minute. They stood there for five minutes almost, staring down the door, listening for the footsteps. Nothing.

Then, the creak of a wooden step drew them both out of their concentration. It didn't come from outside though, it came from above.

"April, Don? What are you guys doing up so late?" The voice called, and April sighed, relieved to some extent the noise had not come from outside the door. "Someone's here Leo" Don whispered back to his brother, who crept the rest of the way down the stairs to their stationed point.

"Is it them?" The oldest asked, confused as to why weapons were drawn, and why April seemed so focused on the doorway. Before either could answer April caught it, boots recklessly making their way over the porch deck, the sound perfectly in synch with her heartbeat. Just as fast as they had come, they had stopped, right in front of the door. Don gripped his bow a little tighter, even Leo took a defensive stance. April just tried to hone in on whoever was out there, the overwhelming image of black and red gripped her mind, the flash of a Cheshire smile dotting the backs of her eyelids.

Stepping as quietly as she could over to the doorway she looked once back at Donnie before gripping the handle in her hands. "Now or never O'Neil" her voice mocked in her head. With Donnie ready to back her up, and Leo on his tail, she flung the door open, her tessen catching the light of the full moon over the treetops. Adrenaline raced through her veins, the thought of battle from years ago preparing her for an onslaught of enemies, except on the porch there was no one, not a single soul.

"Wh-" She was about to question the situation, stealing a quick glance back at Don before searing pain ripped through her wrist and with a dull thud her fan dropped to the wooden porch floor. With a small grunt she was pushed out of the way gripping her wrist as Don came through the door, realizing April had been attacked. April watched in horror as Donnie too was disarmed, quickly and effortlessly, only Leo stood left in the doorway.

"Leo! The light!" She yelled, and quickly Leo grabbed for the outer light switch before the attacker could do any further damage. Suddenly light flooded the porch and April had to squint her eyes just to make sure she could get a good look at the attacker before they ran off.

What she found was a surprise indeed. There, with her back against the house siding, under the porch light was a girl who she had known years ago. "Now, is this how you treat an old friend?" The girl asked with that same sickening smirk she had always worn. In one swift movement she kicked Don's staff up into her hands, and held it out to him, also bending down to pick up the old tessen. "Not as sharp as you once were." She whispered as she handed the weapons back.

Always so calm, so terrifyingly calm. It made April's insides crawl just seeing she had really not changed one bit. The city life, filled with mutants and rouge outlaws had really roughed her up, she looked tougher, her persona screaming she was bad news.

Then her heart broke in two as she remembered just who was standing in the doorway.

"Karai." He mumbled, like his heart had fallen out of his chest just at the sight of her. His eyes locked onto her, nothing else mattered anymore, it was her, the one he had been waiting for.

"Hello again, Leonardo." She whispered back, her smirk less terrifying now, but it still set April on edge. "Why are you here, Karai?" She asked, looping her tessen back in her belt.

Her answer was simple, and serious. "Alex."

* * *

_For those of you who guessed Karai, you were right! Hope this chapter lived up to your standards! One more thing, what could be wrong with Alex? Leave your guesses and I'll see you all next chapter_!


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

When I had finally come to, the van was moving slowly down an old familiar dirt road, and I felt my insides flip with anxiety. I was so excited to see the family again that I had my hand on the door handle ready to fling it open and run into April's arms. The only thing that quelled my overjoyed feeling was the sickness in my stomach. I had felt pain far worse than this before, remembering the night I acquired the scar across my abdomen with a shiver, but this pain was more annoying that it was unbearable now.

Pain was something I knew I was capable of adapting to, but for some reason I felt as if these sharp, knife like cramps were never leaving my side. I sighed, my hand wrapping around the handle even tighter as the O'Neil mailbox came into sight. At least it was daylight out now, and everyone would be up to welcome us back awake. Of course I would have to probably tackle the "Where the hell is Casey?" story first, but hey, at least I was home.

I felt the van slow to a stop and glanced over at Raph, he just nodded back at me with a faint smile on his face. "Home." He said gently, pulling the keys out of the ignition, feeling the growing silence around us. "Home." I repeated with a small smile until the searing pain hit again and I was doubling over in the passenger side seat, grabbing tighter to the handle of the door. "Alex!" Raph yelled, grabbing my shoulder in worry. "Fine" I mumbled back forcing a smirk. Raph just shook his head at me with a scowl "You're so stubborn sometimes Alex." He whispered as he watched me re-gain my composure.

"Ha-ha" I mused, looking to the porch where I had expected April to be standing by now. I only caught sight of a curtain moving from the inside though before the door burst open and a small familiar toddler ran out as fast as she could, followed by a screaming April, who was then followed by another toddler who seemed to be just as wide-eyed and curious as his sister had been. "Wren, get back here! I told you Wren! NO-" Before April could yell anymore at the small child I was already out of the van and standing with my feet planted on the gravel with a grin plastered on my face.

I felt a small forced slam into me and I looked down to see Wren clinging viciously to my calves, "Hey Wren" I whispered as I heard the incoming footsteps slow to a halt right in front of me. "Alex?" April whispered, and I looked at her with a smile. "Hey Ape." I said back and she just stared at me quizzically before I sensed something was off. "April?" I asked with a frown forming on my face.

"Alex, you look like shit."

I'm pretty sure I heard Raphael try and cover up his snickering as he too headed for his brothers standing in the door frame. I watched as Mikey and Don greeted him with small hugs, and he knuckled Mikey's bald head. "April?" I asked again, my eyes just as curious as hers, I panned back to the doorway where the guys had disappeared into the house. "Thanks for the welcome home Ape" I said with a smirk, and she smiled back her eyes full of worry now. "April would you quit it! I'm fine!" I managed, but the pain in my abdomen grew and I could tell she could sense it. Within seconds she had closed the space between us and was holding her hands over my stomach.

"Apr-"

"Shh" She whispered, and I watched her face as it contorted into several different emotions. "Alex how long have you been sick?" She asked and I just stared at her. "What?" I asked, pulling her hands from my stomach. I was beginning to feel concerned for April, was she alright? Normally she would have ran right out an embraced me until I could hardly breathe, but now she was going doctor on me and I didn't know how I felt about that.

"How long Alex?" She asked again and I just sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "Since we left the cabin, look Ape, it looks like it's gonna rain can we get inside?"

"Hold on." She said with a small smirk like she knew something was up. "Alex I've been trying to reach you for at least a month now, and nothing has gone through. "

I stared at her like I could care less. "Yeah, so?"

"You're mind has been preoccupied to say the least, maybe its this sickness" She wondered to herself. "But you said you had been trying to reach me for over a month, I haven't been sick that long?" I asked and she just tried not to laugh. "Alex, you're not your normal type of sick." She mused, taking my hand and slinging my bag over her own shoulder. I could hear her mumbling something to herself but by then I was too exhausted with everything to pry. 'My god I just get home and I've already been bombarded by April, and not even a question as to where Casey is what's up with her' I thought as I followed her inside with Wren on our tails.

Months had made my mind numb to my emotions, and the reason why I had left the farmhouse in the first place. For some reason it all came back to me as I stepped over the threshold, like some unseen wave had hit me. I stumbled back, burned by my own memory of the night I almost perished at the hands of someone I used to call my best friend.

Sensing my fear Raphael was by my side in an instant, hand placed firmly on the small of my back as he looked down into my eyes with his own worry. He knew.

"Alex, It's okay...I promise." Donnie whispered, reaching out his hand to me, and I looked at all their faces, they had gathered in the doorframe, watching me with worried eyes, knowing what I was feeling. "Wh-where is he?" I managed, but my voice choked and I felt my abdomen tightening with pain again. I gasped, grabbing at the pain wanting to rip it out of me.

"I'm here." I heard a voice call from behind the wall of familiar faces and instantly arms were around me, several of them, one pair for my protection, the others for my reassurance, I didn't know which I needed more in that moment. Just hearing his voice brought all our teenage memories rushing down on me, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. There was still a part of me that flinched at the sight of him, but other than that his miserable smile made me feel more comfortable, something in my heart told me he was okay, I would not be harmed in his presence, not anymore.

"Alex?" He asked, his voice shaky, expecting to be rejected, instead I looked him dead in the eye. "Leo" I whispered back, and I looked up at Raph to make sure he would stay by my side. Leo seemed to notice this and tensed up a bit as I stepped towards him, my feet crossing over the threshold easily now, my brain pushing away the awful memory of him.

I stood just a foot away from him now, with Raphael and the others behind me. I looked deep into his crystal blue eyes, they were no longer filled with fog, no longer blinded by illness. They were the eyes of a leader, of a kind soul I once knew, and hoped to know again. Without hesitation I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, tears dotting both of our eyes.

He whispered to me then, words he had muttered thousands of time in our years together, but this time it stuck, this time I listened.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." I whispered back and in a moment we were both staring at each other again, now both relaxed, less tense.

"It's good to have you guys back!" Mikey beamed at me from behind Donnie, with Oliver on his back. Don just smirked and I caught his hand snaking around April's waist, "We missed you." April said, her eyes brimming with joy now that what I assumed she was worried about was over. I simply smiled back, about to say something back, about to break down in tears because I had missed them so much, until I caught a slight break in April's eye contact and her eyes turned cold for a moment.

Before I could even turn to see what she had been looking at a cool voice spoke from the doorframe of the kitchen.

"Where's my dramatic reunion." The voice was snarky, sarcastic and I could tell there was already a firm Cheshire grin planted on her face. I turned on my heel catching a sight of her I had never seen before. She was dressed in what I assumed was some of April's clothes, with her hands planted on her hips, and her eyes staring me down. There were no words, no logical reaction, I just ran, ran until I felt her body make contact with mine and with somewhat of a yelp I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could.

It was the kind of reaction I had been saving for April, but after she pulled the psychic thing out in the driveway I decided against it.

Her embrace was familiar, with her scent she brought memories of the clan life, the long nights spent patrolling, hours of the day spent training with her side by side, and talking with her just the same. She was the one who encouraged me to remember who my family was, the one who pushed me to do what was best. I would never be able to thank her enough, but surly enough my brain caught up to my actions and I was asking myself why she was even here.

"Ka-" Before I could even say anything it seemed she had read my mind.

"Alex, there is no clan anymore. Don't ask where everyone else went because I don't know." She spoke with her usual demanding voice but there was a small smile hidden on her face. "I realized I had no one anymore, and I came looking for you."

"Karai!" I cried embracing her once more. I had never been this touchy with her before, and come to think of it I was acting rather emotional today. I brushed it off as just having too much going on at once. I mean my god, I had just reunited with my family, I had the right to cry...right? Burying my face in her neck I felt her hands rubbing my back in slow circles.

"I missed you so much." She confessed in a whisper only meant for my ears, and I only laughed back quietly. "I missed you too."

"Uhh, you guys? Where's Casey?" I quickly turned my gaze to Raphael and he just nodded, knowing already what I had asked of him.

"Ya see Mikey, there were a lot of bears up there, real big ones too, an ya know bears get hungry..." As he wadded off on his tale of woe, I just shot him a glare and he smirked back. Mikey seemed to be the only one believing it, even the kids had looked at Raph with the "are you kidding me" eyes. I just laughed, turning back to Karai who had already turned her attention to someone else.

The blue banded terrapin standing just a few feet away.

...

My eyes were watering as I gripped the edge of the toilet with all my strength. I could feel my eyes burning, along with every other part of my body as I retched up last nights dinner. Lucky for me after dinner had come up my stomach wanted to make sure everything was out and all clean. I sat on the bathroom floor dry heaving for at least a half hour. I would have normally welcomed the bright morning sun, but now with it shining right on my face I could have ripped it right out of the sky. Just one more little annoyance to add to my list.

With tired eyes I looked at April who was kneeling down beside me with her hands on my back, trying to rub away the pain. She was positively beaming with joy but I had no energy, or patients for whatever she had to say right now. I just kept my gaze turned towards the toilet bowl, trying to convince my body I needed a break.

"Doing any better?" Another female voice called form the doorframe and I looked up at Karai who also had a smart look on her face. I just glared, eye contact she never even blinked at.

"Not too much better, I'm getting a little worried, maybe I should call up Don." April replied, and Karai just nodded, her eyes still trained on me and my current stance.

"NO!" I croaked and April jumped at my sudden speech. "Please not Don." I whispered sounding like I was in true pain, but I really didn't need Donnie up here right now. He would probably insist I needed an entire check up, something I was not in the mood for either. I dropped my head back to the bowl and April resumed her rubbing, I was grateful she didn't comment on my outburst, instead just silently agreeing.

All I wanted was silence but of course Karai lived for this kind of stuff, people suffering? She was front row. "Wow, I've never seen it this bad." She sighed, twirling one of her raven locks in between her fingers. "I know, I was never in here this long." April humored Karai by talking back, to which I only knew would spark up a conversation I didn't want to hear. So instead I interrupted.

"What do you mean you were never in here this long?" I asked through half lidded eyes. I could hear Karai snickering in the background as I locked onto April's now very vulnerable looking eyes. "I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet." Karai muttered and I shot her a confused look.

"What?" I spat, my voice coming off angrier than I actually was.

"Alex..." April sighed, her smile faltering as she grabbed my hands before she gained her composure and beamed at me with her happiest face. "What." I mumbled, and I was sure my face was rid of all emotions as I felt my stomach tighten again, read for another round with the toilet.

"You're pregnant!" I'm sure it was meant to be whisper but in my ears it sounded like she was screaming. "Pr-pregnant?" I murmured, and before she could say anymore my head was back in the toilet, retching up whatever was still in my stomach.

...

**Hey guys I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Honestly I'm feeling a little bummed out, I'm just not that into this story anymore. I'm sure we (as writers) all have this moment at some point though. I promise I wont give up on this story though, we're so close to the ending! It's just I have so many new ideas for stories and I want nothing more than to post them and work on them but I promised myself I would finish this and my other story first. **

**So please, let me know what you all think so far, I'm thinking the last chapter will be number thirty, but who knows. Let me know if you have any ideas for further chapters, and thank you if you have contributed to the ideas list this far. I'm especially interested in what you all think of the new news? Let me know, love it? hate it? **

**I can't beg enough, review review review! I love seeing what you guys have to say and honesty I'm gonna need the continued support through these last few chapters. I love you all so much, and I'll see you next chapter! :) **


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

There was no way. I shuddered at the thought, a wave of goosebumps moving down my spine in double time as I stared down the toilet. It had only been a day since April had told me, told me the very last thing I wanted to hear.

Pregnant? How? Why? I was barren for all I knew, but April was all knowing. She said as soon as I had arrived in the driveway with Raph she could sense a third being among us, and knowing it couldn't have been Casey, she had jumped to conclusions as soon as she realized only two people stepped out of the van.

An intuition I was not too happy about.

Last night she had explained her reasoning to me and I willfully listened, looking anxiously back and forth between her and Karai. There was a history between Karai and I. Of course she was the one who had saved my life the night of the invasion, and she was also the one who had replaced my bones with titanium, and messed around with my organs to make sure I survived.

The reason I was so hell bent on believing I was sterile was what Karai had told me a few days after I had woken up in the foot clan lair. When I had been opened up and my broken body replaced, they had found punctured organs, one organ in particular. Shards of concrete and metal had slipped through my skin, doing their damage, damage Karai had thought was undoable.

The shards were removed and the organ was left where it was, the damage had been done. After that I never went through another menstrual cycle, and was convinced there would be no possible way to have children now.

Oh how I was wrong.

Karai had explained the entire ordeal to April, and April listened with curious eyes, wondering herself how this could have happened. She was sticking her to assumption, checking my body every hour to see if she could still feel the presence through her psychic connections, and every single time she had smiled and just nodded at me.

I had made both of them swear not to say a word to anyone else, but April had given in and hinted to Donnie about it, who had confronted Raphael about it who he had thought already knew. Now, as I dry heaved into the toilet another morning later, with my world flipped upside down, a certain someone stood behind be, seated on the ledge of the tub, rubbing my back with curious eyes.

As soon as he had found out he had instantly found me, I had been up in my room just staring up at the ceiling when he burst in. The look on his face gave away everything and I swear in that moment I could have strangled April to death. He hadn't been angry, or upset, in fact he had hardly shown any emotion besides worry and confusion.

Since then he had stuck by my side, asking if I needed anything every hour upon the hour, and honestly I think it was more exhausting for me to watch him struggle to understand just what exactly pregnancy meant.

"Raphael, I'm fine." I muttered, yet his hand never left my back.

"Alex, how did this happen." His voice was soft, softer than I had ever heard it before.

I smirked at him. "I think you know how Raph." I lightly chuckled before my stomach flipped again. He just shook his head, seemingly deep in thought.

...

Raphael had never been one to put much thought into the idea of children, they were annoying and loud and they pooped themselves from time to time. It wasn't something he ever thought he would have to deal with, but now it had been thrown in his face like hot coffee. It was a confusing thing to understand, and though Splinter had once had "the talk" with the boys, Raph wasn't on to pay much attention. Obviously he knew how things were done, he had managed to get someone pregnant, a feat he had never imagined in his entire existence.

There was no one to confess his anxiety over the subject in the house to besides April and Don who had been through it too, but since April had always seemed to be occupied with her own kids, or Alex, he opted to go to the latter, Donnie.

Don was never one for advice when the guys were younger, he always had some scientifical reasoning behind every god damned thing. He never was one to make you feel better about certain subjects either, with his incredibly blunt reasoning and brain the size of South America...but there was no one else to go to. Surely Mikey wasn't up for such a rough conversation, Mikey was probably still wondering about the pizza they had left in the lair the day the invasion hit.

He sighed as he made his way out to the red barn, it had always seemed so comfortable looking, a place you could just go to and relax while Don worked on some new invention to "help the family" but now it looked ominous as hell, and with the storm clouds filling in over head, Raph knew this wouldn't be an easy talk. Just as he pushed the big sliding doors open lightning struck behind him and he noticed Don didn't even flinch from his station in the corner.

"Hey Donnie?" Raph asked, poking his head in, then carefully stepping through the threshold. It was almost midnight, Alex was asleep, and he was clueless. "Yeah, come in." Don said his face still glued to whatever he was working on over his desk.

"What do you need? Oliver acting up again?" he asked, and for a minute Raph thought about just turning around and walking out, he could ask April anything he needed when she woke up...but then again Don was his brother, he should be able to go to him for anything. "Actually, I got a few questions." He took a seat anxiously on a bale of hay just a few feet away from Don's desk and sat patiently as he awaited his brothers further questioning.

"Like what?" He asked and Raph exhaled. _'Here goes nothing.'_

"What...what was it like when...you know...April and you...?" Donnie's laugh cut him off making him flinch. His palms were sweating just thinking about the proposed topic, and his brother was just cackling away..._awesome._

"Seriously, Raph if you needed some guidance on Alex's pregnancy you could have just come straight out and asked." Don smirked at him, spinning in his chair to face his older brother with his hands connecting behind his neck. "So what would you like to know?"

Raph felt his shoulders relax, and let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. It was just a pregnancy, so why was he taking it like it was going to be the death of him. "Don, what the hell am I supposed to do?" He could have laughed at his own bluntness but chose to just stare off somewhere into the space right next to Donnie's head.

"Well first of all you need to understand that this is a huge responsibility Raph, kids are tough little shits." Don chuckled, "Firstly, since both Alex and yourself have mutagen running through your blood the pregnancy is likely to turn out like April's, the baby should be here by the second trimester. I've already asked Alex if I could run some scans to make sure everything is in order, of course since this baby wont be completely human there are some major precautions we have to take into consideration."

"Like what?" Raph asked, leaning his back against the bales of hay.

"For one, when Wren and Oliver were both in the womb I noticed through some scans that they never formed in eggs, it was a normal human pregnancy, within the first few weeks they had been growing as normal humans, the shift to humanoid form occurred somewhere between the second and third months." Don signed, picking at his pointer finger, "There is no telling what the baby could end up looking like. For all I know it could come out looking exactly like a human, or as Wren and Oliver did. There is also a slim chance that the child could begin to grow inside of an egg, therefore telling us that it's going to come out looking exactly like you and I, which is a huge health hazard for Alex, her body wouldn't be able to withstand that kind of pregnancy, it would kill her."

Raph just stared at him with wide eyes. "What is the chance of that happening Don?" He asked, leaning forward with his hands on his knees. There was no way he would risk losing Alex, even if it was his child he couldn't do it.

Don just gave him a reassuring smile. "Very slim, I wouldn't worry about it...Also you should know that the child one hundred percent will take on some form of Alex's gifts, there's no telling what or how that will affect the child. It could potentially leave them physically altered in some way depending on what genes it takes on and how it reacts to the power of the gifts."

Raph sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. "What do I have to know about the kid once it's out. I don't know how to take care of anyone but myself." He admitted with a huff.

Don just smirked to himself, apparently recalling the birth of his two kids and the months following.

"It's going to be a living hell."

...

Mikey sat on the couch adjacent the recliner currently holding a worn out looking Alex and a sleeping Wren tucked under her arms. She looked pale, like she was constantly sick now, and the bags under her eyes told him she hadn't been one for much sleep. It was tiring for him to watch her go through this, he already knew what would start to happen, he had seen it all before when April got pregnant.

Lets just say April wasn't always so warm and friendly.

Alex was starting to get like that too, her mood fell to an all time low almost every day, and he watched with a humored gaze as Raph could do nothing to console her. She was nearly a month and a half into pregnancy and though she wasn't completely a bum, she still managed to brighten his day once in a while.

She looked like a mom, one who would probably fall asleep in their child's bed every night, or constantly leave little kisses on their faces and hands. She was loving, and honestly felt like home. He was happy for his brother and Alex, they would make great parents once Raph realized just how much things were going to change.

At least Mikey had been through it before, he knew he would be able to help if they needed it.

He was the one who had always played with the kids when April was cleaning and Don was working, most nights he even fed them dinner too. Low and behold the youngest, clumsiest member of the family was the most capable of watching over kids without a serious catastrophe occurring. As the years passed he began to see Oliver and Wren as more than just the newest members of the family, he began to realize his own standing now. Uncle, he was an Uncle...the favorite Uncle to be exact.

Now there would be a new kid to look after, and by the looks of how worn out Alex was, he knew she would need as much help as she could get.

"Mikey, are you staring at me?" Her quiet voice called out from across the room and Mikey was torn out of his thoughts realizing he had in fact been staring at her.

"Sorry," He managed with a small chuckle, "just thinking..." He trailed off turning his gaze back to the almost silent tv screen of a cartoon dancing across the screen. Wren's favorite tv show.

"About what?" Alex asked, still looking at the youngest of the brothers while he turned his gaze to her once more with a more than chipper smile.

"About our new family member." He said and Alex just laughed quietly, Wren turning over in her arms still fast asleep.

"Me too." She whispered back.

* * *

_Sorry for the over-due update, finals just ended and I hadn't really had as much motivation to write before. This story is starting to test my ability to get creative, and I know it probably is starting to weigh on some of you too. I don't blame you, it really needs a lot of revision. _

_Anyways, please let me know what you think, I've been trying to come up with names besides Eva that would work for the baby, or if I want to keep that name if I choose to make it a girl or not. Let me know if you have any suggestions, and hopefully this chapter was alright. _

_Thanks for the read! Please review._


	28. Chapter 28

**Important AN:**

I'm so sorry I haven't updated this story in a while, I've been working on the chapter for a while but everything just stopped flowing. I know how disappointing it is not seeing a story being updated periodically but it's hard to do that when you no longer know what to write about. I'm planning on ending the story in the next chapter, just a heads up, this is the point where I had planned to wrap things up way back when I had been planning out how it would eventually end anyways. So in a sense everything worked out fine, I guess I just needed a lot of extra time to myself and a break from writing.

However! If anyone even remembers what happened in the last chapter (probably not?) I have a big surprise for you all! This chapter by the way has been written out, deleted, and written out again so many times over, so I hope you all enjoy the version I ended up with!

Next and final chapter will be just like the second to last chapter of the prequel to this story, Runaway, where April is writing in her notebook. I thought that would be the easiest way to wrap up the story, if anyone would like it written another way please let me know I'm always open to different options.

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Eight_

Three more months, that was it.

Three more months until the farmhouse had yet another mouth to feed, and another mom. It all seemed to be happening too fast for them to understand. Sure April had gone through the same thing just years before, but no two mothers were the same. Alex's pregnancy was a different story all together.

She wasn't prepared to be a mother, that much was clear. Long nights she spent awake just talking to April, watching her play with Oliver and Wren who also were seemingly excited for the new child to arrive. It wasn't like she didn't want the child, it was just taking a toll on her, like it was absorbing her energy, draining it from her completely. Her gifts had even begun to weaken, which had even Donnie confused.

"The child may not be draining your energy, it may be draining your power." He had said with a small sigh as he examined her health for the third time that week. She had started to grow weaker as the due date approached and it was weighing the entire family down.

"What do you mean Donnie, like it's taking my powers from me?" She had asked him with weary eyes, narrowed and tired. Her gifts were the only thing she held dear to her heart that she considered her "possessions." She had nothing from her old home, nothing from her old life except a dull sword, and bow-staff she couldn't even bring herself to use anymore. She had at least obtained her gifts from her mother…that was the only thing she had ever gotten from her before she was killed. Now a growing being inside of her was taking that away.

"That's exactly what I mean. It would make sense though, that's possibly how you obtained your gifts from your mother. Being able to control the elements was a hereditary thing you essentially took that from her. Your being able to give the illusion you're invisible may have been passed to you through the mutagen your mother carried in her blood, which is why that gift was completely random." Donnie took a step back and put his hand to his chin. Alex had grown smaller, she had lost a lot of weight and April and Mikey had spent countless nights trying to get her to eat as much as possible, which only ever ended with her rejecting the food or throwing it back up. Other than her weight loss and her exhaustion she was fairly healthy as much as he could diagnose with the knowledge he had. He was worried about the child though, he could only assume it would continue to grow stronger, but what powers would it be capable of yielding. Alex was already strong, if she had continued to hone in her abilities throughout her years he believed she could possibly level an entire city with just her gifts.

"That would make sense." She whispered, her eyelids falling shut very slowly as she struggled to open them again.

"You should get some rest." He said putting a hand gently on her shoulder, she just nodded and walked out the kitchen door with a quiet goodnight and a quick thanks.

…

_Three months later_

Leo had been reclusive, for the most part. If Alex waddled into a room he would excuse himself or occupy himself with something random as if to appear that her presence didn't bother him. Truth be told it really didn't anymore. It was true he had loved her but now he was learning to cap that love with something akin to brotherly love. She was carrying his brother's child; he was going to be an uncle, again.

He couldn't jeopardize this family again by throwing his love out on the line, he would stay back. Besides, he had Karai now who had decided the farmhouse could be a forever home.

He knew he had a lot to sort through still but one thing was for sure, he couldn't just keep ignoring Alex. There were only so many places he could run and hide when she came around and soon enough there would be a baby with her too, in her arms.

She would need a shoulder to lean on, and he knew subconsciously he waned to be that shoulder. He wanted to hold the child and be a part of its life.

He had to come out of hiding; he had to stop acting dead inside whenever she glanced his way.

Maybe it was time to try and make amends.

He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands as the thought played around in his head. Sinking back into the couch he heard footsteps venturing down the stairs as they creaked, shattering the silence he was so accustomed to at night.

He assumed it was Karai, or Donnie as the two were always the early risers, Karai to train, Donnie to get a jump on the days work.

It was neither.

It was her, he could tell by the way her feet shuffled against the cold wood floors, and the way her breathing was heavy as if even the short walk down the stairs was enough to make her tired.

He was silent, sitting on the couch pretending to be asleep, and she walked right passed him on her way to the kitchen.

_If you're going to do it, do it now _he said to himself, his mind yelling at him to get up and meet her in the kitchen but his body staying planted on the couch.

He sat in silence like that for a good twenty minutes, debating if he should get up, or if he should just continue to pretend to be asleep.

Before he could even come to a conclusion over what he should to the silence was shattered once again as a barely audible gasp pierced his ears. It had come from the kitchen, and out of instinct he had snapped his head up, listening.

Another gasp rang out, then a louder groan and what sounded like someone grasping for something to put their weight on. Before he even knew what he was doing he had jumped up, his body carrying him quickly to the kitchen where his eyes went wide at the sight before him.

Alex had hands clutching the counter tops, knuckles white, breathing labored. She didn't seem to notice him standing there until he took a step closer to her from the doorframe and she turned to look at him through pained eyes. His heart sunk at the sight, and for a moment it was like watching her body crumble under the rubble of the building all over again. Seeing her in pain, it was something that made him want to be strong, it made him want to be the one to bear her weight, take away her pain.

But that wasn't his job anymore, it was his brothers.

"It's happening" She whispered, her words sharp and she closed her eyes shut as she took a deep breath in. Leo just stared, confused, frozen.

"It's happening" She mumbled again, freeing a hand so it could wrap around her bulging stomach.

His brother wasn't there right now though, and it was only her and him. He rushed over to her but before he could put an arm around her to support her weight he hesitated. The last time he had touched her he had almost killed her, but before he could even back off she had grabbed his upper arm with her hand, clinging desperately to him. Her eyes locked onto his as he turned his head, a look of terror written in his electric blue orbs, afraid he might hurt her again.

"I trust you Leonardo." She whispered, squeezing his arm, her eyes sincere.

A weight had lifted off his shoulder then and he just nodded, wrapping his arm around her torso shifting her weight to his body.

"W-what do I do?" He said, the reality of the situation now crashing down upon him, he couldn't do this, he couldn't deliver a baby!

"Trust me." She said with a sharp breath. "Just…trust me."

He nodded, just hearing her voice again, speaking only to him cleared his mind.

"Get me to the couch, then go and get Donnie and Raph. I don't want to wake the kids up." She whispered and he just whispered back an okay, and with only half of his strength he lifted her bridal style and briskly walked her to the couch before racing up the stairs with as much silence as a mouse and getting Donnie first, then Raphael.

Both were awake within seconds, racing down the stairs to find Alex, neither really registering that it was Leo that had woken them up.

She was carried by Raph then out to the barn where Donnie had set everything up for her delivery to be as comfortable as possible all while he could monitor her health at the same time.

He had given her some pain killers, though he knew it wouldn't be enough. This was going to be very painful for her and he had tried to convince the other two to leave so they wouldn't have to watch her in so much pain. Raphael of course refused, and Leo was about to leave before Alex had grabbed his hand from her spot on her makeshift bed and wouldn't let go.

"Don't go." Was all she could get out before a wave of pain hit her and her eyes squeezed shut trying to will it away. Eventually she let go of his hand after crushing it a few times and was replaced with Raph's who, as much as he tired to hide it, was experiencing his own kind of pain as she clamped down on his fingers. Occasionally Donnie would ask Alex how she was feeling, ask her to push and she would in turn follow directions with a small groan and sometimes a scream. Her face was plastered with sweat, her eyes dull, her body just completely drained of all energy.

It had been two hours. Two hours and Raphael was tried of watching her grow weaker and weaker, to the point of even snapping at Don who just ignored him and kept his focus of Alex. Leo lingered in the backdrop of the action, watching Alex with careful eyes ready to help if help was needed before the barn door rolled open behind him and April flew in, her eyes full of life.

"Alex!" She yelped running past Leo right over to the little bed, looking to Don for an update. Don just shook his head, his eyes telling April all she needed to know.

Alex's eyes were falling shut, the color was draining out of her body and April could tell what was happening. This baby was too strong; it was still feeding off of her gifts, her life force. With a determined demeanor, she placed one hand over the girl's forehead, the other over her heart, both palms immediately aglow with light.

Leo stood up and walked over standing a few steps away from Raphael who was watching April with confused eyes. "What're you doing?" He asked, his voice tired and angry.

"She needs energy." April replied back, giving Raph a quick glance hoping that would get the message across. Transferring energy was something April had only had to do on one other occasion, which was to Leo, who stood with knowing eyes behind his brother. It was something that would drain April's energy very low, something that she was resorting to because without it Alex could die.

Another hour, another hour and Leo hadn't moved, neither had April or Donnie, or Raph. It seemed to be working, Alex's eyes were open again, and the pain seemed to be hitting her again in full waves as she groaned and cried out, once again pushing against it.

One more hour and her eyes were open all the way, wide and full of energy, April's energy. April had since then removed her hands, and had slumped back against a bale of hay, her eyes falling shut. She was the one who needed rest now.

…

Another hour had passed, an hour that had everyone on their toes. Don had been waiting, watching, and knowing any minute now the child would be born. Raphael was still clutching her hand, and Leo, still standing behind him watching the scene from over his younger brother's shoulder.

One final push, seconds later a small whimper, then a cry filled the air. Alex collapsed on the bed, and everyone besides April who was asleep, and Donnie who was holding the child were frozen in time.

…

"Are you going to stare at her, or do you want to hold her?" Donnie said holding the child in his arms wrapped in a tiny yellow blanket. Raphael just looked down at Alex who was fast asleep, then back at the baby, then back at Alex. "Shouldn't I wait until she wakes up?" He asked with anxious eyes.

Donnie just glared. "She's not waking up for a while, she's burned down all her and April's energy for this. I think she would want you to hold _your_ child Raphael." He shot walking up to his brother and gently placing the child in his arms before he could argue.

"My…child?" Raphael whispered, casting his gaze from Don to the baby in his arms. He was holding her like it was the first time he had ever held anything so small, and it was quite amusing to Donnie to watch him react to the small girl.

"I would hope so." Don mused to himself, walking over to April to see if she was close to waking up anytime soon.

The baby girl was as human as could be, she held no signs of mutation except for was looked like a small patch of skin that resembled his on the side of her neck. She barely had hair, but what she did have was brown, and her cheeks were dotted with barely visible freckles.

_Beautiful _was the first word that popped into his mind.

…

He had been holding her for a while now, with Alex still not showing any signs of waking up. As much as he had trained his entire life, his Father had never made him hold something in his arms with locked elbows for so long. He was starting to feel the soreness seep into his arms, and as much as he wanted to continue holding the now sleeping baby girl he needed a break.

With Don sitting by April, jotting down something in a notepad, and Alex still asleep, he turned to the older brother he knew was sitting just a few feet away. With reluctant steps he came to stand in front on Leo, Leo standing up to meet his gaze.

"Do you want to hold her?" He asked, his eyes softening as he registered the look on Leo's face. His eyes were glossed over with relief, and something akin to complete joy, his face trying to hide a small smile.

"Of course." He whispered, and Raphael gently placed the baby into his arms, and as soon at Leo had complete hold over her he couldn't take his eyes off of her. The movement seemed to stir the baby girl awake and as her eyes fluttered open Leo held his breath, praying she wouldn't cry.

Not even a whimper, she just stared up at him with hidden wonder trapped behind the brightest emerald eyes he had ever seen.

* * *

_There it is, baby time! Let me know what you guys think. Sorry the chapter ended like this but it was all I had for now. Hopefully I'll be able to update quicker next time and I apologize again for the long wait. Forgive me darlings! I beg you! _

_Anyways, see you next chapter for the ending!_


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry for the long awaited update, I've been out of college a month now so there's no excuse why I haven't updated. Even so I'm transferring to a new school on Long Island in the fall so that has been taking up a lot of my time too with having to get all my paperwork in. This is the final chapter of Recollection by the way! WE MADE IT! This story had really burnt me out, but it was my very first story I had ever created on my own and I am so proud of it. I have been revising Runaway on my account on quotev and I have to say the chapters needed fixing so eventually once that is all revised I will begin to revise this one also. **

**Thank you all so much for sticking with this story, you guys have been the rock on which I built myself up as a writer from, and I cannot thank any of you enough. I wish I could hug each and every one of you! Serioulsy I love you guys! Anyhow, lets get down to it...**

**This is the final chapter, and it includes time skips and the last half will be written in someone's P.O.V as a journal entry just how I wrapped up Runaway if any of you remember. So thank you for sticking by me, and this story, and Alex.** _Especially Alex._

* * *

Chapter Twenty Nine.

It was quiet the next morning, and Alex had woken up with a slight head-ache alone in her own bed, surrounded by her own sheets. There was something missing though, and it wasn't the giant red banded brute. Sliding from her bed she let her feet hit the wooden floors with a soft thud as she stretched and made her way to the stair case. The sweet smell of waffles drifted through the air as her hand guided her down the stairs by the polished railing. She could hear hushed voices, and she smirked as she realized everyone was out of bed and huddled in the kitchen all getting ready for breakfast and fawning over a certain tiny bundle of blankets.

Standing in the door of the kitchen she slumped against the wooden frame, smiling at the family gathered around the child. She watched them for a moment, none of them seeming to notice her presence until she cleared her throat and every single head in the room snapped in her direction. "You guys." She mumbled looking at each and every one of them with curious eyes. _When did they all get so old?_ She thought, they were nothing less than a huge family now, when did the time disappear. She was only a teenager when she had met them, she was only now just into adulthood.

She still remembered the first day she met the brothers, save Raphael. They had all been so kind to her...save Raphael, who had mocked and ridiculed her. So how the hell had she ended up with him? Now she smiled at him, his emerald eyes lighting up as she looked to him. He was the father of her child, only yesterday she was risking her life looking for him. They had both been so broken, now they had a child to bring them together once more, only strengthening their bond.

She wished that Casey could have been here but she knew he was happy where he was. With a small sigh she made her way to the sound of whimpering and a reluctant April held out the bundle of cloth to her as the rest parted from around the child to let her through.

"I've already done what tests I could, she's perfectly healthy." Donnie spoke up from behind April, a giddy Wren on his shoudlers trying to sneak a peak at the little baby in her arms. "Thank you Don" Alex said back, looking at her child now, and with gentle fingers she pulled back some of the cloth surrounding the childs face.

This would be the first time seeing the child since she was born, and she had to admit she felt an instant connection to her the moment her hazel eyes met the brightest emerald sea she had ever seen. "She has your eyes." She whispered to Raph who placed his hand on her shoulder looking down at the kid also. "Yea, she does." he said back, allowing a finger to brush at the little girls cheek affectionately. She had never seen Raph so careful, his eyes cautious and calculating making sure he didn't hurt the baby.

"Have you picked a name yet?" April said from the other side of her, and she looked up as if realizing the poor baby had gone un-named for a good twenty-four hours. "I had thought I would name her Eva, after my mother" Alex said with sad eyes, "but I don't think I could place such a burden on her now."

She hadn't really thought of any other name other than Eva, since it was the only name she had ever wanted to have as a part of hers to remember her mother by. Now it was nothing but a cruel memory though, yet she clung to it, not wanting to let go of the name just yet.

"Evany!" Wren exclaimed from her fathers shoulders. "That's different from Eva, right?" April looked up to her daughter with a small smile, then looked back to Alex. surprisingly she actually liked it.

Looking up to Wren with a smirk she spoke to the toddler, "You would let me use that name for my daughter? I Like it a lot Wren."

"Of course!" Wren shouted squealing with excitement.

Alex just smiled, looking down at the little baby girl in her arms.

"Hello, Evany." She whispered.

. . .

_(Time skip, two years)_

The house was quiet as April watched from the windows the curious little group playing in the dirt outside. It only felt like yesterday that Wren and Oliver were just born, now they were well on their way to forming full logical sentences, and even operating bicycles by themselves. They had grown up fast, yet she enjoyed their childlike antics still, there would come a day they would be adults..so these small moments were cherished.

"I hope they aren't giving each other mud-baths again." A tired voice spoke from April's right, and she turned looking to Karai with a small smile.

"Not yet at least, I've been keeping an eye on them though." She mused back, both women watching the kids with mugs of fresh coffee in their hands. The silence between the two was comfortable, in the past two years Karai had become as much of the family as Alex had and had stepped up her game when it came to watching the kids. She was surprisingly good with them too, especially Evany who in a few days would turn two.

Both Karai and April chuckled quietly as Mikey joined in with Wren as she began to chase Oliver around, the little sucker had used his gifts to form a rain cloud over the little girl and she was positively fuming.

"I hope this never gets old." April whispered, Karai nodding with a small smile on her face.

..

"Happy birthday baby." Alex whispered to the small brunette child wrapped up in her arms. They were laying in bed together, Evany sound asleep as Alex traced little circles into her soft cheeks. The two of them were a tangle of mousey brown hair, Evany having slightly curlier hair than her mother, and even more freckles than Alex could count. Her tiny fingers gripped Alex's loosely and there was a small content smile on her face as she slept.

"You two ever gonna get out of bed?" A groggy voice came from the doorway and she looked up with a smirk on her face knowing exactly who it could be. There he stood, to her still as youthful looking as the day they met, his red band may be a little more tattered than it was back then but she loved him all the same. Two years, _two years_ and they had raised a child together, _two years_ and they had become closer than ever, and she loved it.

"Yeah, yeah." She whispered, shooing him away with her free hand. "We'll be right down."

With a small sigh Raph retreated from the doorframe and she listened to the familiar creak of the staircase as he left for the kitchen. Looking down at her baby she smiled, nudging the little girl gently. "Love, it's time to wake up." She cooed as Evany cracked open her emerald eyes confused for a moment before she smiled brightly at her mother.

There was something special about Evany, that much was obvious. She didn't inherit Alex's gifts, it seemed instead she took on her own and watching her use her gifts was beautiful. She seemed to have a natural affinity for animals, they would flock to her whenever she stepped foot into the woods, squirrels, birds, even the occasional deer would come to visit her. They did her biddings for her also, though Alex never heard her speaking to them she assumed she communicated to them through her mind possibly. No one really knew for sure, Evany was a curious little thing.

She also had another gift which stumped Donnie. It had shown up so early, and none of them had suspected anything because she was so small yet they soon all became a little skeptical. Evany was what Don had called a "pathfinder" meaning she could mentally map out where anyone she wanted to seek out was, which began to make sense after she had easily been able to maneuver the house for the exact caregiver she needed at the moment.

She was only turning two and the little bugger had already proven she was an independent sucker who only needed her parents when she was hungry and ready for bed.

"Let's write another birthday in the books kid, you ready?" Alex mused lifting the tiny girl from the bed and carrying her down th stairs to greet the awaiting family. Evany just laughed her innocent little laugh as the family at the bottom of the steps wished her a happy birthday, one by one as she was passed through their arms.

. . .

"Bring it on little girl." Wren mused, brandishing her katana, formerly Leos. The brunette before her circled the mutant with careful emerald eyes, glistening in the summer sun.

"Careful what you wish for." Evany said back with a smirk, drawing her nodachi out of its sheath, the feel of it in her small palm was familiar to her.

Alex watched from the porch with an amused smile as she eyed her daughter holding her old blade with pride. Wren had grown into quite the little kunoichi thanks to Karai, and Evany was not too far behind at the small age of eight. The sword rivaled the small girls height, and it was amusing to watch her wield it but she was pretty good for her age.

"They're getting pretty good." A rough voice next to her spoke up, she turned to find a familiar pair of green eyes watching the girls with nostalgic shadows in his eyes. "I bet we could show them up though, I've still got some energy left in me." A certain orange banded turtle laughed next to Raphael with a smile on his face.

When had they all gotten so old? Evany had grown into a beautiful young girl, her long brown hair now rivaling the length of her mothers. Her gifts had grown too, being a pathfinder she was able to track down Casey Jones for the family just to see how he was doing, April had even set out to visit with him after Evany had given her exact directions.

Evany had also made quiet the friends in the forest next to the farmhouse, so much that some mornings Alex would walk into her room to find a certain raccoon curled up next to her that she had named Remy.

Dragged from her thoughts she let out a small gasp as strong hands clasped around her waist, pulling her down into a lap. Out of habit she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer as Raph breathed into her neck, sending chills down her spine.

"Don't you ever miss the old days." She mumbled into his ear, rubbing her forehead against his affectionately.

He just hummed back.

"Remember when you came looking for me in that mutant infested city?" He mused and Alex just chuckled. "How could I forget, I wish you still had that little get-up. What did you call yourself, the night watcher?" She laughed, Raph only piched her sides.

"It was a good name!" He defended, looking into her eyes now. They sat like that for a while, just listening to the two little girls spar.

"You know you saved me in that city." He whispered, bringing their foreheads together.

Alex smiled lightly, closing her eyes at the contact. "No Raph, I think it was you who saved me." She whispered back, leaning in to plant a small kiss on his lips, one which he returned passionately.

"I love you." His breath on her neck sent another wave of chills down her spine, and he began to pepper small kisses there. She only leaned into the action, closing her eyes as she let the sensation take over her body and mind.

"I love you too."

. . .

(April point of view)

_Journal entry #50_

_I'm reluctant to admit I haven't written in a while, but I think I should note that everyone is doing just fine here at the old farmhouse._

_Donnie has been fixing some old pipes up, and he even made plans to extend the side of the house to put on a new addition, seeing as we've become a little cramped in the past few years. Oliver is now old enough to be allowed in the barn with all of Don's crazy experiments, (yes he's still into that stuff) and the kid's becoming just like his old man. I'll have to keep an eye on those two though, there's no telling what sort of odd contraption they could come up with together._

_As for Wren and I, well we've been the same as ever. My little bean helps me around the house when Karai or Alex isn't __able to lend a hand; she even helps Mikey make dinner some nights. She's quite the little busy body._

_I'm proud of her though, she's come a long way, she's a beautiful girl and somewhat of a role model for the youngest of us all._

_Speaking of the little bugger, she's been growing up so fast I felt like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms as a baby, just barely a day old. Now she's eight, with a fiery spirit just like her fathers, thank the lord she didn't inherit his short temper though._

_She did however inherit her mothers inability to be reasoned with, she's a stubborn little thing but kind, and gentle all the same._

_Leo and Karai have stepped up and taken the role of Aunt and Uncle pretty well for the three stinkers, and I give them credit, it gets hard sometimes. Leo is especially fond of Evany, it's clear to everyone who is willing to acknowledge it. She is a spitting image of her mother, but with eyes like his brothers. I think being around Evany reminds him of the times in the lair he used to take care of Alex when we were all so young and ignorant. That has to be why he's always keeping a close eye out for the little girl, watching over her like the protector he always was._

_Mikey hasn't changed one bit, I'm serious, it's like he hasn't aged a day. I'm going to have to ask him how he does it before I start getting gray hairs. He's the house chef, the babysitter, and even with the difference in age he still manages to play with he kids as if he was still their age. I envy him._

_As for me, I've grown up. A lot actually since I made the farmhouse a permanent home. Maybe it was becoming a mother, maybe it was keeping a household together with just two hands and a determined mind, I couldn't tell you…but I can feel it._

_And finally, the final couple of the household._

_I don't know how they do it, their relationship only seems to grow stronger everyday. Sometimes I'm a little jealous; Raph is always all over her, showering her with kisses and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Donnie needs to step up his game._

_In all seriousness though, I've never seen Raphael any happier than he is now, and it's all because of the girl who stuck by his side through hell._

_Alex, I envy you, not for your bizarre sword wielding skills or your care-free attitude, but for your willingness to never let go. You're my best friend, my sister, without you I don't know where I would be. I'm glad you came back to us after the city collapsed, I'm glad you let us welcome you to our family with open arms. I'm glad I met you that fateful night in the hockey rink with Casey._

_You are my rock, and I am forever indebted to you. Thank you, for everything._

* * *

**There it is, the final chapter. **

**It's not as detailed as the others because I want to leave you guys with a little room as to what the family is like and what they've been doing over the years. Evany is probably my favorite little creation so far in writing and I have to give a special thanks to Starlite Moon for suggesting the name. It's beautiful and if you were wondering I've been pronouncing it (Ev-an-knee). I decided against going into detail on Alex's child just because the story is about Alex, not about Evany, Evany's story is beautiful though because it's being left up to your imaginations! **

**Anyhow, thank you all again so much for following this story until the very end. Unfortunately this story had to end sometime, today is just the fateful day. **

**I love you all so much for your support through the months of the development of this story, and the development of Alex, my first ever OC. Sadly her story has come to a close, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

_ -S_


End file.
